I’m blaming myself for the way that this guy at reacted to something I did wrong. He immediately came at me with a look and tone of disgust and anger.

I felt like I needed to fight. my firefighter came in and gave him the same energy he gave me. I wanted to protect that shamed exile part of myself. He made me feel small and like I was scum, which is the reason I am doing parts work in the first place.

Now I feel like I’m back to square one. Full of anger that is trying to cover my shame. I can’t even sleep because of how stupid I feel for “fucking up”. Then the self criticism turns into “how can I make this asshole pay for making me feel like this?”

I hate this feeling. This is the way I felt when I first started IFS and now here I am, right back where I started.

I’m blaming myself for the way that this guy at work reacted to something I did wrong. He immediately came at me with a look and tone of disgust and burning anger.

I felt like I needed to fight. my firefighter came in and gave him the same energy he gave me. I wanted to protect that shamed exile part of myself. He made me feel small and like I was scum, which is the reason I am doing parts work in the first place.

Now I feel like I’m back to square one. Full of anger that is trying to cover my shame. I can’t even sleep right now because of how stupid I feel for “fucking up”. Then the self criticism turns into “how can I make this asshole pay?”

I hate this feeling. This is the way I felt when I first started IFS and now here I am, right back where I started.

I feel like at 40yrs old and starting my healing journey my whole life so far has been wasted. everything I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember was motivated by trauma and anxiety 😢

I have adhd, anxiety and sensory issues. When weed works it REALLY helps, but when it doesn’t work it lands me the ER.

I want to try it again because I went to hard and fast when I first started. But like the title says, I need something easy on the senses.

live tried many strains of weed and most of them just cause me anxiety. The effect it has on my brain when it isn’t causing me anxiety is amazing though. my thoughts stop racing and I can think linearly, but unfortunately that’s rare.

I’ve tried many indicas and sativas. high cbd and low. but I can’t find that “perfect” blend that doesn’t give me sensory overload.

It seems like most of what is considered sin is really just our human way of dealing with pain, trauma, emotional distress, fear, abandonment, etc. Once you address these underlying issues you can rebuild a better foundation for living a moral life. Maybe I am not well enough versed in the Bible but it seems like it teaches “you are a wretched sinner that needs to repent“ but doesn’t really get into the motives behind the sin. Why is that? Self compassion would seem to be more effective than simply being labeled a “sinner”.

*I’m not talking about pathologizing sinfulness and using a diagnosis as an excuse*

It seems like most of what is considered sin is really just our human way of dealing with pain, trauma, emotional distress, fear, etc.

I’m not talking about pathologizing sinfulness and using a diagnosis as an excuse.

Shouldn't we have more self compassion in light of the fact that most unfavorable behavior can be explained and worked through with the right counselor?

I call bullshit. I’m manipulative as fuck. Full of myself. I look down on people. I’m defensive, easily “triggered“, sensitive to criticism, I feel I deserve special treatment, etc etc etc

But I am AWARE of it. I know why I do the maladaptive things I do and am working on stopping.

I’ve been so anxious at work (new job) that I don’t even talk to anyone. All I hear are voices in my head saying that everyone is looking at me, I’m weird, I’m gonna say something stupid, I AM stupid, etc.

I’m pretty sure the majority of people at work hate me. I don’t even make facial expressions because I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong one at the wrong time. I’m awkward. I try to stand a certain way to appear normal. I can “feel” people looking at me. I’m like a stone statue most of the time. Almost always serious. 100% always afraid.

I have ADHD and am pretty sure I’m autistic. Been like this my whole life, anxious and shy. I’m a 40 year old man now. I feel pathetic.

I need you to tell me something that will instantly make all my social anxiety disappear. Ok, go!

This may not be a great idea, bearing my soul on social media. This is probably a better conversation to bring to a pastor or something but I don’t have a church (or friends). So I’m telling you, in hopes that maybe you can give me advice or pray for me.

Im gonna try to make this short.

I grew up being mocked and shamed by family, “friends”, church members, and classmates, through most of my childhood. I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion on things. Opinions brought abuse.

I have ADHD, dyslexia, trauma and very low self worth.

At 19 I came to Christ because of a personal encounter with God after praying for Him to make Himself known to me.

I told my atheist friend about it in hopes that he might come to Christ, but I think on some level I was simultaneously looking to him to validate my experience. He immediately started laughing after I told him my testimony

This guy was very smart, top of His class, understood physics and evolution well. He had a field day. It was like he was prepared to jump at the opportunity to mock me, he made me feel small and stupid. He explained things that I couldn’t understand (relativity, the big bang, and other sciencey stuff). As we were having this one way conversation about how dumb my faith was I started having a panic attack and completely shut down internally. I’ve been unable to open back up to God the way I did before this happened.

Ive spent plenty of time reading and looking into the validity of Christianity and the existence of God since then. But I can’t shake the feeling of being utterly shamed by someone who was highly intelligent compared to me.

So now anytime I try to build my faith I hear his laugh. I feel his words. Anytime I try to come close to God I am full of doubts. If an atheist says anything to counter a valid argument for the existence of God I immediately shut down and feel that shame all over again. That “I must be stupid for believing this” feeling.

Kind of a weird question. Idk how to even word it.

If a human spirit was outside of the body would that spirit be considered wholly good?

I was never modeled unconditional love. I grew up in a “spare the rod” type of home. Abuse was my everyday experience. So I became a very manipulative and evil child, doing things that would be seen as unforgivable to probably most of society. I don’t see myself as forgivable, I see myself as a waste of space, loser, evil, narcissist. My mindset is kind of like “God can forgive me but I won’t forgive myself”.