u/Icy-Custard-1398

I’ve been feeling really emotional about my hair lately and I just need to vent because I feel like nobody around me understands.

I did a big chop in 2024 and my hair HAS grown since then, but I still feel so discouraged. My texture is looser now in some areas, it’s uneven, and even though I can put it in a tiny bun, it still feels so short to me. I look at other Black girls and even people in my own family with thick long hair and sometimes I feel like maybe I’m just not capable of growing mine the way I want to.

The thing is, my hair actually used to grow more when I was consistent. I used to wash it regularly and my mom would braid it for me and I noticed growth then. But after moving, I stopped taking care of it the same way and now I feel disconnected from my hair completely. I wear wigs a lot because I don’t always know what to do with my natural hair, but honestly I’m getting tired of hiding under wigs all the time.

I think what hurts the most is that I’ve never really had the full long natural hair experience I wanted. Even when my hair touched my back before, it was thin, so now I’m scared I’ll never have the healthy full hair I imagine for myself.
I am also so sensitive about my hair I would go to hairstylist and they would say your hair is very damage but never taught me how to take care of my hair or give me the tools. It would be in a descending tone too like ugh just want to cry.

I know hair takes time, especially after a big chop, but I just feel sad and frustrated right now. Has anyone else gone through this awkward stage where your hair is growing but you still feel discouraged? What actually helped you stay consistent and stop feeling hopeless about your hair journey?

I feel like social media constantly pushes negative dating stories, cheating, abuse, bitterness, and trauma, and while those experiences are real, I really want to hear more positive perspectives for once.
How did you meet your partner?
What makes your relationship feel safe/healthy?
What advice would you give other women who still believe in love and healthy partnership?
How is dating for you as a Black woman currently, especially if you’re looking for something healthy, intentional, and long-term?

I’m currently not dating right now. I’m open to it, but honestly it feels hard knowing where to even start when it comes to finding appropriate prospects/aligned people, so I’m trying to shift my mindset a bit and hear from women who actually feel happy in their relationships.
Most of my friends are not married, some childless some not and seem to be casually dating.
One of my friends is engaged and has been with her child’s father since she was 14.

Please keep this discussion positive and intentional. I’m specifically trying to expose myself to healthier relationship dynamics and more hopeful perspectives. 🤍