u/IHadTacosYesterday

I'm just wondering if what I did is a real dick move, or just a normal part of the dating experience.

So, I met this girl on an app. We started talking back and forth. Eventually we met for a lunch date. We went to lunch and had a pretty good time. At the end of the date, she wanted to exchange phone numbers, so I gave her my number.

A couple of days after our date, we texted each other back and forth a little bit.

At a certain point, I just stopped texting her. I came to the realization that I just wasn't interested in her anymore for certain reasons.

Anyways, I don't feel like I actually "ghosted" her, because she could have taken the initiative to reach out to me and if she did, I would have answered her text and I would have explained my feelings as to why I wasn't contacting her.

But, she never contacted me. She has my number.

I don't consider this a "ghost".

I would consider it a "ghosting" if she text me something like:

*"Hey David.... You haven't texted me in a long time, I'm just curious why you don't contact me anymore?"

If she texted me something like that, and I never responded back, then yeah, that's 100 percent a ghosting. However, I personally don't feel like I need to text her and explain that I'm not going to be contacting her anymore for x,y or z reasons. I mean, I could have done that. That might be the more gentlemanly thing to do, but I don't feel like a person needs to do that, because the other person can still reach out if they really care to do so.

What do you think?

I was over in the Arden area today, and I was driving towards Nordstrom Rack, I saw a billboard that mentioned Kico's Mexican Food.

I remembered that they're related to the family that used to run Luis's on Alhambra. Some of the family members also ran Pancho's Cocina on Broadway for awhile.

Anyways, I love their refried beans and tortillas and I got nostalgic for that classic Luis's taste and I went there today. The beans were about 80% the same as Luis's. A little bit different. I think they use too much red sauce in the beans. I told the guy there about it. The salsa was also not the good salsa that Luis's and Pancho's both used. I told him about that as well.

However..... the tortillas and chips taste EXACTLY the same and it was a nice burst of nostalgia. I love their tortillas. I know they're hella infused with lard, but oh well...sue me.

The beans are lard city too, but we already knew that.

The prices are a bit high, so there might be some sticker shock. The only thing I got was an order of beans and tortillas and it was $9.50 for that. Got 3 big plops of beans, a little bit of salad with dressing, and four fluffy and thick tortillas.

I asked the guy how much the beef taco lunch was (which I used to get at Pancho's all the time), and it was $16.99 or something, which seemed a bit high to me, but maybe that's just their normal price, while Pancho's used to have a lunch special if you ordered it before 4pm or something.

Edit = Accidently spelled it Kiko's. My bad.

I gotta modernize my fashion sense, but I don't really know what I'm doing. I lost some weight and my old jeans don't fit. I need to buy some new jeans, but I feel like all the jeans fit me really weird. These modern jeans don't seem to have room for your junk? You gotta squish one side of your nuggets on one side of the pants, and your other nugget on the other side, lol.

Life is just weird now

For the most part, I'm fine with living in what I consider to be "cheapo" apartments. These are usually older buildings, multiple tenants, bad parking situations, etc. But... you save some good money. If you're living on the grid, it's possible to find a one bedroom as cheap as $1275 or so, if you walk around the neighborhoods and write down phone numbers. You're only getting a $1275 type price if you find an independent landlord that isn't using any paid services to find tenants. Also, they might be slow to fix things, like pulling teeth to get them to do things, but hey... it's a cheapo apartment, what are you going to do?

Then, you got the cheapo 1 bedrooms that are in the $1400 to $1800 range. Some might say $1800 isn't that cheap, but it's all relative I guess.

Here's my problem... While I got really lucky with a good price on a nice two bedroom, the summers are absolutely brutal. I moved to this midtown spot in July of 2021. $1350 for a 2 bedroom. Sounds like an insane value, but the building was made in the 1930's, and the walls are paper thin. I literally will hear neighbors doing their thing, because the walls are that thin/uninsulated. Also, it's cold as hell in the winter because of the lack of insulation in the exterior walls. In the summer, it's absolutely brutal. The wall unit AC does a decent job, but it really only cools the living room, and you can't enjoy the TV while it's on, because it sounds like a jet engine.

The bedrooms have no AC, and the AC wall unit in the living room is worthless for the other bedrooms, because the cold air doesn't make it over there, so no use in running the AC during the night if I'm not in the living room.

I'm planning on actually moving my bed from my bedroom into the living room in mid June. I will leave it in my living room till about mid October, then switch back. (I'll be moving my sofa and TV and stuff to that bedroom during this 4 month period). It's my only option to be able to sleep comfortably when the Delta Breeze isn't working. Basically the bedrooms were designed to take advantage of the Delta Breeze, with really big windows and it does work great when the Delta Breeze is doing it's thing.

The landlord here has only raised my rent once, which is awesome. I'm paying $1425 instead of $1350, so a very minor bump.

So, my big problem is that I'd love to upgrade my situation to a different apartment that is more modern. Something built in the late 90's or early 2000's. I definitely don't want anything less than 15 years old, because then AB 1482 isn't applicable. So, I definitely want to stay under the umbrella of AB 1482 so that my rent can't be raised more than 10 percent in a single year.

Anyways, I feel like I'd need to increase my rent amount from the current $1425, to $2500, to get the kind of apartment that I'd want to have. This would be an increase of 75 percent. I'd be paying an extra $1,075 every single month, just to not get murdered during the summer. Also, I'd probably be downgrading from a 2 bedroom like I'm in now, to a 1 bedroom. There's also some extra storage in this apartment, aside from the extra bedroom, so my storage space would drop precipitously. I got divorced a few years back, was previously living in a normal 3/2 house and had a lot of stuff that accumulates over time. It's really nice to not have to pay any extra money to a storage facility. If I get a new, more modern one bedroom, I'd either have to throw away or give away a ton of stuff, or rent a storage space somewhere, which means my costs are going up even more.

Thus, I'm basically just stuck in this predicament. I'm just curious if anybody else is in a similar situation, where you'd love to upgrade your living arrangements, but the cost of the upgrade just doesn't make it logical at all.

I'm sure somebody will probably mention trying to find another person that wants to get a nice two bedroom, but I value my privacy and just there's a lot of drama that happens when you're sharing space with somebody. I don't see myself sharing my space with anybody other than a girlfriend if I ever find one. So, getting a roommate is a non-starter for me.

I've literally never done a FWB thing in my entire life. So, this is new to me. I'm a guy, and I normally will pay for all dates. However, if I'm going to do the FWB thing, then I'm thinking I'm never paying for everything anymore. She's just a friend. She's not girlfriend material.

Not sure how women feel about this. Do you still expect the guy to keep paying for shit?