u/Hypna2

They (21NB) broke up with me (22F) about a month ago. They moved out last week, but we only talked like twice the whole time we were apart and living together. They literally did not give me any closure. We just got into a fight, they broke up, and we never talked again. I tried so many times to get an answer about why it happened, but they avoided me. They kept saying "I don't know why we broke up", but they initiated it. How am I supposed to move on if I have no clue what went wrong? Like I can name some challeges we had, but none of them were that bad. I just want closure, I don't understand how I am supposed to change and get better if I don't know what I did wrong.

What makes it worse is when they moved out I asked if I would ever see or hear from them again. We are both still in the same city, and I know where their parents live (they moved home). They again said "I don't know". I asked if I could reach out in a couple months, again they said "I don't know". Like they literally know nothing I guess? But why leave then? They didn't block me or remove me, and they even left some things with me that I still want to get back. I'm not texting them and I'm just waiting to see what happens, but it is infuriating.

The "breakup" was a month ago. Bascially they stopped talking to me a couple months ago, and when I confronted them they said they figured I realized it was over. Except we literally live together, we have seperate rooms but we still share a space. However since we broke up, they have made every excuse to not talk to me. We never talked about getting items back, why the relationship failed, anything because they didn't want to. And now they are moving out. They have 3 friends all moving stuff, and I'm just locked in my room. There was so much I wanted to say, I'm never going to see them again (I suspect). But they choose to be surrounded by friends, and not give us any final talks. I hate them. I hate that they are doing this. It feels like such a cruel act, that they just one day decieded I was too much. I hate them.

I (22F) just got back from the bars where I made out with someone. I thought it would be fun, but I just want to cry. My ex (21NB) left me a month ago. They are an avoidant, and bascially discarded me. They had already been checked out since March, but they refused to talk about it till this month (I cornered them finally). They just made me feel so lonely, and so tonight I wanted to prove to myself that I could actually enjoy doing things with other people. But it failed. I made out and danced and had fun, but now I am home. My ex is in the room over (they move out tomorrow), but I just want to cry. I wish they had been there with me. I wish it was them I kissed, that we then went home. I wish they weren't leaving tomorrow, like I don't know if I will ever see them again. I still love them, but they just haven't talked to me at all. They basically told me they don't see a future with me, and it broke my heart.

Me (22f) and my ex (21f) have been dating for the last two years. We also live in an apartment together, but I am graduating in 3 weeks well she has a year left. We just broke up about a week ago, mostly due to the fact she refuses to do long distance. We wouldn't be living in the same city until after she graduated, and she was just too busy to maintain a relationship.

Today we had a conversation, and she asked if she was still invited to my graduation. I had invited her about a month before, and we ended on decent terms. I'm a little heartbroken, but I also do want to continue being friends. She seems like she wanted to come, so idk what to do. I tried to say she didn't have to, but she asked me to think about it.

My ex had a chronic illness. They already knew they would be in a wheelchair before their 40s, as they have a genetic illness which causes loss of movement. They told me so many times that they knew they would deteroriate, and that it was just a matter of time. I never cared about that though. They used a cane (we are in our 20s), and could not do a lot of normal activities. I always assured them that I was fine taking care of them, that I knew what I was getting into. Yet they hated that. They hated me talking about a future, hated me caring about them. Anytime I tried to help them or love them, they pushed me away. Its always been a battle. When they had bad days instead of letting me in, they locked me out. Told me they didn't want my help or love, that they wanted to suffer alone.

I wonder if because of this, they saw themselves as unlovable. That they were scared the second I saw them deteriorate I would leave. I validated them over and over, yet they seemed to not care. I gave up activities for them, like we went on vacation and they got sick so I stayed inside the whole time with them. I never let it bother me. But it bothered them. Me being there was a problem.

And I told them they needed therapy. I told them that the fact they had never had an emotion in their life worried me. I was never angry with them, I was just worried that they seemed so unbothered by everything. Me showing emotion and loving them is what killed the relationship. The second I told them I didn't mind making space for them in my life, they left. I told them I saw a future, that I would go live in their city with them for grad school because my degree allowed that flexibility. They hated that.

And so now I'm just left with questions and worries. I know they self sabatoge, and will continue to do so. I know they will push themselves until their body breaks. I know that they will put up walls so high nobody can get in. But I also know there is nothing I can do.

Has anyone else experiencrd this? I currently live with my partner of 2 years, but we sleep seperatly in different bedrooms. They have always hated sleeping together, and this has always put a strain on our relationship since I consider that to be important. They are also the type of person to overload their schedule with friends so they aren't home very often. This has also caused a strain, because I was regulaly asking them to hang out and they would say no so they could see a friend they saw two days ago. They called me clingly, and would cancel plans with me as well.

So I just stopped initiating. I stopped hunting them down, stopped texting them about dates I planned, I just stopped. And guess what? I haven't seen them in 2 weeks. I still see them going out, and they still call their friends and do what they used too, it just doesn't include me because they never ask.

Its made me realize how little they care. They never wanted physical affection, they never wanted to see me, so why the hell did I put in so much effort? I'm trying so hard to disconnect, but its hard. We are moving out in 2 weeks thank god, I just don't know what to do