u/Huskyboah

For the last 2 and 1/2 years she told me that she believed exactly like I did as far as leaving Christianity/the church we were attending. To make the hurt even worse after I left her she decided to go back to our old church (hadn’t been there in about 3years and she talked about the members like trash) and “testify” that she needed prayer/God more than ever because I left her, essentially making herself the victim. When I confronted her saying I didn’t appreciate her feeling the need to include people in our business she explained that she needed Jesus more than ever right now and that because I left she no longer had a spiritual leader. I feel so betrayed, was she lying to me the entire time we had been gone from there about what she believed, doesn’t matter now I guess? So many layers to all the damage she’s done to me. Zero accountability, zero insight, just bullshit from a good ole Christian.

Me(M23) and my wife(F24) have been together since high school, and married since 2022, in that time we have progressively gotten worse with fighting, verbally and even physically(I take full accountability for and regret that I allowed myself to get in a situation where I made those poor decisions), it definitely got worse after our son was born, I always told my wife that we absolutely could not continue doing that because it was incredibly unhealthy and our son did not deserve to see it, for the last two years I’ve been seeking help however I can in hopes I’d change and the marriage would improve, I was hospitalized twice for suicidal ideation(incredibly depressed and absolutely broke down) seen two different therapists (seen my current one for almost a year) and tried many different medications. Unfortunately we found out my wife is pregnant a few weeks ago(I say unfortunately because it makes this entire thing more difficult/complicated), and despite everything I’ve tried nothing has ever improved, so I finally made the decision for myself and these children that I had to leave because I don’t deserve to be in that environment and those children don’t deserve to see it. When I was leaving my wife went absolutely belligerent, saying that I was lazy and hadn’t done anything to change, that she’s gonna kill herself, that I have shattered her world. But I felt like I had no other choice, I take full responsibility for my faults/actions in that marriage but where me and her differ is that she never made any attempts to change with me. She never tried. She is trying to get me to come back, saying I’m gonna cause her to lose the baby, that I never gave her a chance to change/get better and that she’s found a therapist and marriage counselor (I have proof exactly a year ago telling her something would have to improve or we was done). But even though I know that I no longer want to be with her, and that I made the right choice for my children and myself I feel like a monster, seeing her cry how she does and talking about how badly I’ve hurt her pains me, but I’m gonna be strong and not go back. I’ll support financially however I need to and be apart of those kids lives too. But I’m done with her, so after YEARS(practically the whole relationship) of this I decided that I wanted better for myself and my children, wish me luck as I continue this process and filing for divorce. Because I’m concerned she isn’t gonna be civil.

Do you think I made the right choice?