u/HunterSketches7

(this is a repost like said, I want to keep I up bc people said I made really good points so I want to keep it up from reference lol).

TW: S*icidal ideations, depression, ect. also this is kinda a vent so also Tw.

OG POST:

I'm just in pain man. I can't.

Everywhere I look online it's "I'm homeschooling my kids"! "Can't wait to homeschool my kids"! All of the thousands of arguments that say homeschool makes you smarter. I'm done. I don't know if it's just abusive homeschool families that turn out dysfunctional. But nonetheless anytime I see anyone saying that they are homeschooling I get like RAGED. Like no joke I want to punch something.

All the public school kids saying "man, I wish I was homeschooled it's so much better". Oh yes, it's so much better to be isolated and dysfunctional. It makes my blood boil. Like I understand that SOME homeschool kids turn out ok (maybe in rare cases actually smarter then public school kids) but the majority do not turn out ok. And I'm tired of everyone saying they do.

I stand by this, a NORMAL parent WOULD NOT even THINK of homeschooling. It wouldn't even cross their mind. The ONLY. REASON. people homeschool is to CONTROL. THIER. KIDS. like I can understand wanting to protect your kids from the dangers of the world, but holy shit. There comes a time where it's too much. There comes a fuckin time where it's not protecting, it's helicoptering and controlling. AND YOU CANT PROTECT THEM FOREVER. BAD THINGS. W I L L. H A P P E N. THATS HOW YOUR KIDS GROW TO BE BETTER PEOPLE. HOLY. SHIT.

If you genuinely had a good homeschool experience it tells me one or two things, A: you actually had a good experience. B: You are so brainwashed that you THINK you had a good experience, when really, it was abusive and miserable and because of the extreme indoctrination, you are none the wiser.

If kids were given the choice man. The choice to choose which one they wanted to do. If t parents didn't have complete control over them. It would be so much better.

Because of homeschool Im completely miserable. I've never held a friendship for more then a few months. I've only seen kids consistently for 5 days ina row ONCEIN MY LIFE. I will never be normal even if I go to public school. Ihate this. All I want is to be normal. And ik everyone's going to say "well just beacusee society says you have to be normal doesn't mean you should" ...do you know what happens when a kid isn't normal? They are isolated from their peers. They. are. miserable. At this point I don't even have to speak for everyone. I. Want to be normal and be in public school. That's what I. Want. I don't care if I'm bullied. I would rather be bullied, and have to wake up early, an not learn at my own pace, and TURN OUT NORMAL, then be who I am now. Not everyone thinks like this or wants this. But I. Do. So let me have it.

I get that both have flaws goddamn it. BUT THE THING NO ONE GETS IS THAT HOMESCHOOL ISOLATES, INDOCTRINATES, AND TURNS YOU DYSFUNCTIONAL, WHILE PUBLIC SCHOOL ACTUALLY DUCKING TEACHES YOU THE GODDAMN LIFE SKILLS YOU NEED TO BE A FUNCTIONAL. FUCKING. ADULT. BOTH. SUCK. ONE. SUCKS. L E S S. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK ASS SKULL.

If ANYONE looks through this sub FOR HALF AN HOUR they will see the shitty reality that is homeschooling. It's unorganized, sloppy, and is the PERFECT setup to abuse your kids, LEGALY. Like the ideal, best version of homeschool, IS LITERALLY PUBLIC SCHOOL. THERE IS A FUCKING REASON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM HAS BEEN AROUND FOR SO LONG.

Homeschool raises you with a false reality. You DONT have to get up early. You DONT have deadlines. You DONT have to do school. You DONT have to learn at a pace that isn't the best for you (aka you learn at ur own pace). You DONT have to have responsibility.

Now, I think this is the reason why homeschooling is so appealing. Like, when you read that, it didn't sound bad. Infact, is DID sound better then public school. But the key factor in that is that it is a fantasy. It raises you unrealisticly. Because when you are older you WILL have to get up early. You WILL have deadlines. You WILL have to do work. You WILL have to learn things on a time crunch. And you WILL have responsibility.

See where this is going. In public school you HAVE to get up early. You HAVE deadlines. You HAVE to do school. You HAVE to not learn at your own pace. And you HAVE to have responsibility.

Now, keeping this in mind who would function better in the real world? The homeschol,ed kid who was raised in a false reality, then shoved into the harsh reality at 18, or the public schooled kid, who was raised with the harsh reality, and by 18 was prepared to have a job, and work, ect.

(The answer is the public schooled kid. DUH?!??)

now, the problem is this isn't how it should be. In a perfect world, you WOULDNT have to get up early, you WOULDNT have to have deadlines, ect, ect...but the thing is we don't live in a perfect world. It's not wrong to wish we did, but you have to face the reality that that's just how it is.

My sibling actual said, this, but one of the reasons people homeschool is because of the dangers of public school. (Plus all the flaws in public school) And they said, "instead of inventing a WHOLE NEW SYSTEM because our current one is bad, why don't we MAKE PUBLIC SCHOOL BETTER. make public school the ideal homeschool experience. Make public school safe. Make public school better".

And while this would be the best outcome, it will probably never get that far. Something else me and my sibling talked about is the fact that the world will always have bad in it. There's always going to be bad people, there's always going to be bad, unfair systems. But that's reality. We talked about it more and it got to the topic of yinyang. I never gave much bought 5o it more than "it's a hocus pocus symbol" but now I kinda get it ig. There will always be bad people. But there will always be good people with them. There will never only be bad or good people left on this Earth. Because that's the reality. That being realistic.

The moral of the story is that while public school has flaws, it prepares you for the real world. And homeschool does the opposite.

Parents, I understand where you are coming from, but just know, from a homeschooler, it isn't what it's cracked up to be. It makes me want to end my life, and it has come to the point where I have permanent mental issues from this that will be with me for the res of my life.

Don't. homeschool. Period. I don't care WHAT people tell you. Don't. Do. It.

(I've been writing this for like 1:30min and it's almost one in the morning so cya. I'll probably edit this more to include more points on why homeschool is SHIT. bye)

(uhhhhhhh this turned into a vent oops-)

It's my fault tho but lemme catch u up- since last year I've started doing school again after being severely neglected and not doing it for 2 years. I finished my 6th and 7th (or 5th and 6th idk) grade math books PLUS half of my pre-algebea book in less then a year. I was really motivated to get my life back together.

I also did half of my science book, finished a small grammer book, and under half of my writing book.

Now this might sound good, and it is, but since I was doing so much school, around February I completely stopped doing anything due to burnout. Now, this time it WAS my fault for skipping school, but come on man it's so fucking hard to be motivated when you are in a situation like this. Waking up knowing everyday is going to be the same and you are slowly losing your mind, yea not the best for mental health.

So, since I got so behind I started doing school again a week ago. And it's not going well :,). I mean I can manage but holy shit I have to do so much school so I can catch up.

It's especially bad because I need to finish all my school by August so I can attempt to get into public school. And yes, I know it probably won't happen. But the thing is if I am forced to do one. More. Fucking. Year. If. Homeschool. I will probably not make it. I'm getting in or I'm going to die.

Idk like ik every normal person has to do school + hates it but fuckkk man it's so miserable knowing the next 2 1/2 months is just going to be school. No friends, no fun, nothing. Like I know it as to happen but it's so miserable. I barely get out and I'm not eating meals anymore. This reminds me i haven't showered in like 4 days. And it makes doing basic hygiene like brushing teeth feel impossible and pointless. I'm so unhealthy rn

About the "no friends".. uh so I made a "friend" last June and they seemed to really like me, but we only saw each other for 4 days. We started texting and now we just haven't since September. I recently emailed them to just be like "hey sorry I haven't talked in ages life's been rly hard, but I wanna be friends w u so if u wanna start talking again here's my insta" (I emailed them cuz my main communication method was compromised, long story). And they haven't responded. It's been a few weeks.

Idk. Over the past uhhhh like 3 years? 4? I've made a total offf 3 friends. One of them I don't even like, I never even see them cuz they stopped going to the church I go to, so now they just send me letters. And they're also homeschooled, and they are on the more "I am severely isolated and indoctrinated and I don't even have access to the Internet" endof the abuse spectrum... (I was lucky enough to be on the "awkward but at least has Internet+ broke free of indoctrination" side) So even tho they r 14 they act like they are 10. I don't even want to talk to them bu5 I do bc I know they have no one else.

I had another friend who was normal and public schooled, but since I'm homeschooled it just didn't work out.... I remember I could only see them on fortnite and they were never on bc well, DUH they r normal and go too ducking school. I would literally stalk them waiting for them to get on. Once they got on when I got off for dinner, I came back and saw that they were on and almost had a breakdown bc I missed them. After 5thst I because paranoid of missing them and was on the game 24.7.

And this friend had other friends that would come on and play with me, but reflecting back on it they really did not like me, not even my friend really liked me, they all just pityd me.

And the friend I gmailed I thought was special. I thought the were the one. Finally I could just talk to someine and not be alone forever. Then they left. Idk if I'm being paranoid but bc we only saw each other for 4 days, PLUS the fact that they are normal, why the fuck did they like me so much? IDK why and I hope they wernt trying to manipulate me for whatever reason. Tbh I don't think they were but I think bc everyone has done that or let me down now I'm just paranoid.

I miss them so much. Other then those 3 """friends"" I've had th occasional" I'm going to make an online friend so I not alone!!! "" Phase a few times, and it ever lasted for more then a day. Everyone leaves.

And that's why I just don't care anymore I guess. Freinds are pointless. Friendships are a living nightmare to sustain, and every time you put in the effort to do so it just comes back to bite you. It makes everything worse. Sure, I would love to have one, but it won't happen. It's too hard,and besides no one gives 2 shits anyways jajaja- I guess I'll just stick to my delusional daydreams and fictional characters that will never be real

Ok that got way off track uhhh oops.

Oh yes I've been listening to music aswel. To help me focus during school + help me deal with all the shit going on. It's mainly Stomach book and jack stauber. Idk with stomach bookssomgs when she screams in them bro I feel that... And with jack stauber I relate to just feeling weird in his songs. Tbh my music tast is chopped at but I do recommend them.

But yeah gotta catch up while dealing with crippling loneliness and knowing it might not even be worth it jajajaja yayyyyyy

FUCK FUCK FUCK DCUK FCUKC FUCKCUNCHHDHDHDHDBNSHHS

I'm just in pain man. I can't.

Everywhere I look online it's "I'm homeschooling my kids"! "Can't wait to homeschool my kids"! All of the thousands of arguments that say homeschool makes you smarter. I'm done. I don't know if it's just abusive homeschool families that turn out dysfunctional. But nonetheless anytime I see anyone saying that they are homeschooling I get like RAGED. Like no joke I want to punch something.

All the public school kids saying "man, I wish I was homeschooled it's so much better". Oh yes, it's so much better to be isolated and dysfunctional. It makes my blood boil. Like I understand that SOME homeschool kids turn out ok (maybe in rare cases actually smarter then public school kids) but the majority do not turn out ok. And I'm tired of everyone saying they do.

I stand by this, a NORMAL parent WOULD NOT even THINK of homeschooling. It wouldn't even cross their mind. The ONLY. REASON. people homeschool is to CONTROL. THIER. KIDS. like I can understand wanting to protect your kids from the dangers of the world, but holy shit. There comes a time where it's too much. There comes a fuckin time where it's not protecting, it's helicoptering and controlling. AND YOU CANT PROTECT THEM FOREVER. BAD THINGS. W I L L. H A P P E N. THATS HOW YOUR KIDS GROW TO BE BETTER PEOPLE. HOLY. SHIT.

If you genuinely had a good homeschool experience it tells me one or two things, A: you actually had a good experience. B: You are so brainwashed that you THINK you had a good experience, when really, it was abusive and miserable and because of the extreme indoctrination, you are none the wiser.

If kids were given the choice man. The choice to choose which one they wanted to do. If t parents didn't have complete control over them. It would be so much better.

Because of homeschool I'm probably going to kill myself. I've never held a friendship for more then a few months. I've only seen kids consistently for 5 days ina row ONCEIN MY LIFE. I will never be normal even if I go to public school. Ihate this. All I want is to be normal. And ik everyone's going to say "well just beacusee society says you have to be normal doesn't mean you should" ...do you know what happens when a kid isn't normal? They are isolated from their peers. They. are. miserable. At this point I don't even have to speak for everyone. I. Want to be normal and be in public school. That's what I. Want. I don't care if I'm bullied. I would rather be bullied, and have to wake up early, an not learn at my own pace, and TURN OUT NORMAL, then be who I am now. Not everyone thinks like this or wants this. But I. Do. So let me have it.

I get that both have flaws goddamn it. BUT THE THING NO ONE GETS IS THAT HOMESCHOOL ISOLATES, INDOCTRINATES, AND TURNS YOU DYSFUNCTIONAL, WHILE PUBLIC SCHOOL ACTUALLY DUCKING TEACHES YOU THE GODDAMN LIFE SKILLS YOU NEED TO BE A FUNCTIONAL. FUCKING. ADULT. BOTH. SUCK. ONE. SUCKS. L E S S. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK ASS SKULL.

If ANYONE looks through this sub FOR HALF AN HOUR they will see the shitty reality that is homeschooling. It's unorganized, sloppy, and is the PERFECT setup to abuse your kids, LEGALY. Like the ideal, best version of homeschool, IS LITERALLY PUBLIC SCHOOL. THERE IS A FUCKING REASON THE SCHOOL SYSTEM HAS BEEN AROUND FOR SO LONG.

Homeschool raises you with a false reality. You DONT have to get up early. You DONT have deadlines. You DONT have to do school. You DONT have to learn at a pace that isn't the best for you (aka you learn at ur own pace). You DONT have to have responsibility.

Now, I think this is the reason why homeschooling is so appealing. Like, when you read that, it didn't sound bad. Infact, is DID sound better then public school. But the key factor in that is that it is a fantasy. It raises you unrealisticly. Because when you are older you WILL have to get up early. You WILL have deadlines. You WILL have to do work. You WILL have to learn things on a time crunch. And you WILL have responsibility.

See where this is going. In public school you HAVE to get up early. You HAVE deadlines. You HAVE to do school. You HAVE to not learn at your own pace. And you HAVE to have responsibility.

Now, keeping this in mind who would function better in the real world? The homeschol,ed kid who was raised in a false reality, then shoved into the harsh reality at 18, or the public schooled kid, who was raised with the harsh reality, and by 18 was prepared to have a job, and work, ect.

(The answer is the public schooled kid. DUH?!??)

now, the problem is this isn't how it should be. In a perfect world, you WOULDNT have to get up early, you WOULDNT have to have deadlines, ect, ect...but the thing is we don't live in a perfect world. It's not wrong to wish we did, but you have to face the reality that that's just how it is.

My sibling actual said, this, but one of the reasons people homeschool is because of the dangers of public school. (Plus all the flaws in public school) And they said, "instead of inventing a WHOLE NEW SYSTEM because our current one is bad, why don't we MAKE PUBLIC SCHOOL BETTER. make public school the ideal homeschool experience. Make public school safe. Make public school better".

And while this would be the best outcome, it will probably never get that far. Something else me and my sibling talked about is the fact that the world will always have bad in it. There's always going to be bad people, there's always going to be bad, unfair systems. But that's reality. We talked about it more and it got to the topic of yinyang. I never gave much bought 5o it more than "it's a hocus pocus symbol" but now I kinda get it ig. There will always be bad people. But there will always be good people with them. There will never only be bad or good people left on this Earth. Because that's the reality. That being realistic.

The moral of the story is that while public school has flaws, it prepares you for the real world. And homeschool does the opposite.

Parents, I understand where you are coming from, but just know, from a homeschooler, it isn't what it's cracked up to be. It makes me want to end my life, and it has come to the point where I have permanent mental issues from this that will be with me for the res of my life.

Don't. homeschool. Period. I don't care WHAT people tell you. Don't. Do. It.

(I've been writing this for like 1:30min and it's almost one in the morning so cya. I'll probably edit this more to include more points on why homeschool is SHIT. bye)

I need foster parents. Or a new legal guardian. Anything. Please. My parents don't hit me so IDK if I can get in but I need to try. The worst they've done is not care when my sibling was hallucinating for like 2 months and the fact that our house is groos. Like dead animal on front porch, never clean toilets, never clean litterboxes groos. Is that enough abuse evidence to get me out of here.

Would a phych ward work? Can you stay for long periods of time?

Is there anyway to call cps or police without a phone or phone number. If I could do that it would be a start.

Please help me I can't stay here anymore I need to leave now.