u/Hour-Version-2666

I loved my girlfriend deeply but over time the relationship became emotionally exhausting for both of us. I constantly felt like I had to prove I was good enough while she often felt like I was not expressing effort in the way she needed. Repeated breakup talks comparisons with other boyfriends and emotional inconsistency made me anxious and insecure in the relationship. At the same time I also realize now that I made mistakes too. I sometimes crossed emotional and physical boundaries and misunderstood what emotional safety meant for her. We ended up stuck in a push pull cycle where she would pull away I would chase and convince we would patch up stay happy for some months and then repeat the same problems again. I genuinely loved her and imagined my future with her but after the breakup and distance I realized I had also lost my own peace confidence and emotional stability trying to hold the relationship together. Now I am stuck between missing her deeply and realizing that maybe this breakup was necessary because neither of us was emotionally healthy in the relationship anymore.

I loved my girlfriend deeply but over time the relationship became emotionally exhausting for both of us. I constantly felt like I had to prove I was good enough while she often felt like I was not expressing effort in the way she needed. Repeated breakup talks comparisons with other boyfriends and emotional inconsistency made me anxious and insecure in the relationship. At the same time I also realize now that I made mistakes too. I sometimes crossed emotional and physical boundaries and misunderstood what emotional safety meant for her. We ended up stuck in a push pull cycle where she would pull away I would chase and convince we would patch up stay happy for some months and then repeat the same problems again. I genuinely loved her and imagined my future with her but after the breakup and distance I realized I had also lost my own peace confidence and emotional stability trying to hold the relationship together. Now I am stuck between missing her deeply and realizing that maybe this breakup was necessary because neither of us was emotionally healthy in the relationship anymore.

I got 130 in CGL last year, and now in mocks I am getting 95–105 marks. I have not bought any batch and am just solving topic-wise questions from test books. I am targeting CGL 2026. Should I buy a batch, or should I focus only on questions? My main problem with low scores is time management, and in GS I score as low as 10–15 marks. I need to know what to study for GS to increase this score to 30.

I was in a relationship with her and I genuinely cared about her. From my side, I felt I was putting efforts, but I now understand that I was doing things in my own way, not always in the way she actually needed. She wanted more emotional consistency, reassurance, and visible effort, and I didn’t express that clearly or regularly.

At the same time, there was another side to the relationship. She often used to say things like “we don’t have a future,” and sometimes even talked about breaking up casually. This affected me deeply. I became insecure and started overthinking a lot. There were times I even cried because I couldn’t understand how she could say such things so easily.

Initially, whenever she said breakup, I used to go back to her, try to fix things, and reconnect. But this pattern repeated multiple times—breakup, then I go back, then things become normal again. After a point, I got emotionally tired and started protecting myself. I began telling myself that she can leave anytime, so I should not become too dependent.

Because of that, I changed my behavior. I tried to control my emotions, reduced my expressions, and stopped going back every time she said breakup. From my side, this was self-protection. But from her side, it looked like I didn’t care or value her anymore.

Another major issue was consistency. I used to make time for her even when I was busy—whether I was in training, work, or occupied, I still tried to talk to her daily for at least some time. I treated her as a priority. But from her side, communication was inconsistent. She mostly contacted me when she was free or at home, but when she went to camp or was traveling, she could go for many days, even up to 10 days, without talking.

This created a strong imbalance. I started feeling like I was not a priority in her life, and that she only talked to me when she had nothing else going on. That thought triggered me a lot and increased my overthinking. While I was prioritizing her, I felt like I was only an option for her.

So the relationship slowly turned into a loop: She created uncertainty and inconsistency, I first reacted by chasing and later by distancing to protect myself, and she interpreted that distance as lack of love.

Along with this, I also made mistakes. I didn’t communicate properly about how her words and behavior were affecting me. I didn’t clearly tell her that these patterns were hurting me. Instead, I adapted silently. And when things started breaking, I became very emotional, sent long messages, and tried to fix everything quickly, which probably felt like pressure to her.

From her side, she was also hurt because she felt I wasn’t putting enough effort and wasn’t emotionally present in the way she expected. She waited for change, didn’t always express her needs clearly, and eventually became tired and lost interest.

Now, she has clearly said multiple times that she doesn’t want a relationship. At the same time, there are still small signs of connection like snaps or casual interaction, but also strong signs of distancing like deleting old memories.

From my side, I am very clear. I don’t want casual talking or friendship. I only want a proper relationship with her. I miss her a lot and I want to fix things, but I also understand that right now she is not in the same place as me.

So the real problem between us is not lack of love, but a mix of insecurity, repeated breakup patterns, inconsistent effort, lack of clear communication, and my shift from chasing to emotional distance. Right now, she wants space and distance, and I want closeness and commitment, which means we are not aligned at this moment.

I was in a relationship with her and I genuinely cared about her. From my side, I felt I was putting efforts, but I now understand that I was doing things in my own way, not always in the way she actually needed. She wanted more emotional consistency, reassurance, and visible effort, and I didn’t express that clearly or regularly.

At the same time, there was another side to the relationship. She often used to say things like “we don’t have a future,” and sometimes even talked about breaking up casually. This affected me deeply. I became insecure and started overthinking a lot. There were times I even cried because I couldn’t understand how she could say such things so easily.

Initially, whenever she said breakup, I used to go back to her, try to fix things, and reconnect. But this pattern repeated multiple times—breakup, then I go back, then things become normal again. After a point, I got emotionally tired and started protecting myself. I began telling myself that she can leave anytime, so I should not become too dependent.

Because of that, I changed my behavior. I tried to control my emotions, reduced my expressions, and stopped going back every time she said breakup. From my side, this was self-protection. But from her side, it looked like I didn’t care or value her anymore.

Another major issue was consistency. I used to make time for her even when I was busy—whether I was in training, work, or occupied, I still tried to talk to her daily for at least some time. I treated her as a priority. But from her side, communication was inconsistent. She mostly contacted me when she was free or at home, but when she went to camp or was traveling, she could go for many days, even up to 10 days, without talking.

This created a strong imbalance. I started feeling like I was not a priority in her life, and that she only talked to me when she had nothing else going on. That thought triggered me a lot and increased my overthinking. While I was prioritizing her, I felt like I was only an option for her.

So the relationship slowly turned into a loop: She created uncertainty and inconsistency, I first reacted by chasing and later by distancing to protect myself, and she interpreted that distance as lack of love.

Along with this, I also made mistakes. I didn’t communicate properly about how her words and behavior were affecting me. I didn’t clearly tell her that these patterns were hurting me. Instead, I adapted silently. And when things started breaking, I became very emotional, sent long messages, and tried to fix everything quickly, which probably felt like pressure to her.

From her side, she was also hurt because she felt I wasn’t putting enough effort and wasn’t emotionally present in the way she expected. She waited for change, didn’t always express her needs clearly, and eventually became tired and lost interest.

Now, she has clearly said multiple times that she doesn’t want a relationship. At the same time, there are still small signs of connection like snaps or casual interaction, but also strong signs of distancing like deleting old memories.

From my side, I am very clear. I don’t want casual talking or friendship. I only want a proper relationship with her. I miss her a lot and I want to fix things, but I also understand that right now she is not in the same place as me.

So the real problem between us is not lack of love, but a mix of insecurity, repeated breakup patterns, inconsistent effort, lack of clear communication, and my shift from chasing to emotional distance. Right now, she wants space and distance, and I want closeness and commitment, which means we are not aligned at this moment.