u/Head-Educator6517

Hey folks, I'm 31F and happily single! I just want to share all the reasons why, and why I don't ever want to change this.

This journey started with a devastating breakup last year. It came out of nowhere for me when the woman I consider my soulmate and love of my life thanked me for our 2.5 years together and informed me that we tried our best but that she would be taking a few months before moving onto someone new. This happened after she let me know we were doing well and healing from previous difficulties we both had with long distance, boundaries, emotional distance, anxious attachment styles, money, mental health, and homophobia.

There are two sides to every story, but I firmly believe we shared a life changing love. In many ways, being with her was the healthiest relationship I've ever had, and was definitely the most joyful and fulfilling. I loved her more than anyone or anything. Including my peace of mind.

I'm sharing this context to emphasize that it was not a bad or unhealthy relationship between us. It was a passionate, intense, and complicated one that brought us immense happiness despite our challenges. So the way it ended left me broken and grieving, on top of the fact that it ended at all–we had planned to spend the rest of our lives together.

I've done a lot of healing since then. Although I have a long way to go, I've learned a lot. Even in the breakup, this relationship has shaped me to better realize what I want, what I am (and am not) willing to compromise on, and how I want to live the rest of my life.

Simply put, I have decentered romantic love. I want to live on my own, happily single, for the rest of my life.

Since being single, I have found happiness and shared it with others in these beautiful ways:

1. Building resilient mental and emotional stability.

2. Nurturing independence instead of codependency.

3. Saving just a bit more money.

4. Experiencing new things all by myself, such as food, hiking trails, all sorts of art, community events, connecting with people from all walks of life.

5. Working out for my own well being, not to impress anyone else.

6. Having plenty of free time left over, even after work and other responsibilities.

7. Fulfilling my life long passion of releasing music (albums, singles and EPs!)

8. Volunteering online and offline.

9. Making new friends thanks to shared hobbies.

10. Not needing to ask for permission.

11. Not being pressured to marry or move in together.

12. Freedom from needing to align my life with someone else's, including the burdens, disappointments, conflicts, and emotional baggage (both ways) that come with that.

13. Being way more available to be supportive and loving to family and friends who value me.

14. Learning a fourth language.

15. Reclaiming my energy and sense that I still have time left in my life to do what I love, on my own terms.

Like any human being, I get lonely.

I miss connecting with another woman and knowing her deeply, just as she knows me. I miss intimacy, including sex. I miss sharing special moments with another person. I miss making plans that aren't just about me.

But all these things aren't necessary for me to live a good and happy life. I am content without them, and wouldn't compromise being single for anything or anyone ever again.

I made this post to reaffirm and gladly share that being single is not some broken condition to "fix." It is a healthy, fulfilling, and happy way of life.

Wishing everyone the same 💖