u/Hazlenutfactory

Hi all, my(20F) boyfriend (21M) broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. It’s been radio silence on his end, I’ve texted twice since he broke up with me(both a few days after he did it), and he didn’t respond. For context, the breakup came out of complete NOWHERE. There were no signs, no problems, no nothing. I was over at his house the night before and everything was completely normal, he was even being a little extra affectionate. We were texting like normal all day, and he sent me a text later in the night saying he couldn’t give me what I deserved and that he wanted to focus on becoming who he wants to be. All of this was completely out of the blue and nothing he’s ever brought up as a concern before. I haven’t texted him in over a week, and I really just want to know how to get him to come back? A lot of people told me it seems like an avoidant discard and that he’ll come back as soon as I stop texting or reaching out for a while, but he never showed any crazy signs of avoidant attachment unless we were having an argument and he would stop texting(presumably to have a little space to not get upset) for a few hours. When he broke up with me, there were no unresolved problems and we hadn’t had an argument in a while. Everything was so good between us. I just want him to come back. Does anyone have any advice?

Hi, this is my first time writing on Reddit, so please bear with me. I’m a 20 year old female, and my boyfriend(21 M) just broke up with me a little over a week ago. There were absolutely no signs of him wanting to do this, we even hung out the night before and everything was normal. He was even a little extra affectionate. We dated for about 5 months, but things were serious and we always talked about the future together. He was the one who pursued me first and I played hard-to-get for the first month or two of us knowing each other. The weeks leading up to the breakup, he was having me meet extended family members and making plans for my birthday. The weeks leading leading up to it, he was making plans to stay the night at my place the entire weekend and come see the shows I was in. Unfortunately, the night before one of those shows, he sent me a long breakup text out of nowhere. I will attach the text here:

Hey (My name),

I’ve really cherished the time we’ve spent together, the memories we’ve made and getting to know you on such a deep level. I love you, and I appreciate you more than I can fully put into words.

This is honestly really hard for me to say, but I think it’s time for me to focus on myself, my goals, and the person I’m trying to become. You didn’t do anything wrong at all, this isn’t on you. If anything, this is about me feeling the weight of wanting to grow, succeed, and become better every day. Lately, that pressure has been keeping me up at night, and I’ve realized I’m not in a place where I can give you the time, energy, and attention you truly deserve.

As much as it hurts, I feel like the right thing to do is to step away and work on myself. You deserve someone who can fully show up for you, and right now I know I can’t be that person. Letting you go also gives you the freedom to keep growing, to be happy, and to find everything you deserve, whether that’s with someone else or just within yourself.

I love you more than you probably realize, and that’s what makes this so difficult. Maybe our paths will cross again someday, but right now I need to do this for myself. I hope you can understand and respect that this isn’t something that will change for right now.

You are truly amazing, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. I’m just not in the right place in my life to give you everything you deserve.

I’m so sorry, (My name).

With love,
(His name)

It just doesn’t make any sense, especially because everything was normal all day. We didn’t have any unresolved issues leading up to it and I just want him to come back. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone experienced this and have they come back? He hasn’t spoken to me since he sent the text and every text I’ve sent(it’s been exactly one week since I’ve texted) has gotten left unanswered. He unfollowed me on all of my social media and all of my friends who post me have gotten unfollowed too. He was genuinely such a good boyfriend and I love him, so if there is any chance of him coming back, I would love to hold onto that hope. Thank you.

Hi, this is my first time writing on Reddit, so please bear with me. I’m a 20 year old female, and my boyfriend(21 M) just broke up with me a little over a week ago. There were absolutely no signs of him wanting to do this, we even hung out the night before and everything was normal. He was even a little extra affectionate. We dated for about 5 months, but things were serious and we always talked about the future together. He was the one who pursued me first and I played hard-to-get for the first month or two of us knowing each other. The weeks leading up to the breakup, he was having me meet extended family members and making plans for my birthday. The weeks leading leading up to it, he was making plans to stay the night at my place the entire weekend and come see the shows I was in. Unfortunately, the night before one of those shows, he sent me a long breakup text out of nowhere. I will attach the text here:

Hey (My name),

I’ve really cherished the time we’ve spent together, the memories we’ve made and getting to know you on such a deep level. I love you, and I appreciate you more than I can fully put into words.

This is honestly really hard for me to say, but I think it’s time for me to focus on myself, my goals, and the person I’m trying to become. You didn’t do anything wrong at all, this isn’t on you. If anything, this is about me feeling the weight of wanting to grow, succeed, and become better every day. Lately, that pressure has been keeping me up at night, and I’ve realized I’m not in a place where I can give you the time, energy, and attention you truly deserve.

As much as it hurts, I feel like the right thing to do is to step away and work on myself. You deserve someone who can fully show up for you, and right now I know I can’t be that person. Letting you go also gives you the freedom to keep growing, to be happy, and to find everything you deserve, whether that’s with someone else or just within yourself.

I love you more than you probably realize, and that’s what makes this so difficult. Maybe our paths will cross again someday, but right now I need to do this for myself. I hope you can understand and respect that this isn’t something that will change for right now.

You are truly amazing, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. I’m just not in the right place in my life to give you everything you deserve.

I’m so sorry, (My name).

With love,
(His name)

It just doesn’t make any sense, especially because everything was normal all day. We didn’t have any unresolved issues leading up to it and I just want him to come back. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone experienced this and have they come back? He hasn’t spoken to me since he sent the text and every text I’ve sent(it’s been exactly one week since I’ve texted) has gotten left unanswered. He unfollowed me on all of my social media and all of my friends who post me have gotten unfollowed too. He was genuinely such a good boyfriend and I love him, so if there is any chance of him coming back, I would love to hold onto that hope. Thank you.