I [28F] am overthinking a lot in my relationship [28M]
My boyfriend and I have been dating shortly, only for 3-4 months. He didn't have much single time between me and his last relationship (which lasted 3 years). They stopped being together last August but kept in touch and finally ended even that last December (I met him the second week of January). At first he lied and said that he was single for a year or so, then I discovered the truth, we worked through that, and that is not a major issue now. The thing is, he jokes a lot about us getting married, having kids, etc and last week I asked him to stop saying comments like: "soon, very soon you might get an engagement ring". But on Saturday (he was very overwhelmed at the moment he said this) he said that sometimes he thinks he wasn't really ready to get into another relationship.
He had some rough weeks, a lot going on and a relationship tends to be demanding on quality time, effort and other things. I understand he can feel saturated and overwhelmed, but that comment made me feel completely insecure. Yesterday was mother's Day, his mom passed away last year and it was a hard day for him too. He said the comment of sometimes not being ready on Saturday and he said he's also feeling very emotional because of his mom.
After these things I feel unsure and not safe in my relationship, I feel distance and I'm scared of him just being words and not actions. I need a lot of reassurance lately (we haven't been going on many dates the last month) so that makes me feel disconnected. And again, he had very hard weeks (specially with his car so he wasn't even able to drive) and I understand but that doesn't change how I feel. But even with his problems he keeps communicating, he keeps being super sweet with me, giving reassurance whenever I needed, active listening, validating my emotions, buying me flowers, etc...
Does anyone has any advice