u/Green_Literature138

I really suck at everything math and college. Even subjects I like I fail at. I have been trying to get an associates for 5 years, I can't believe my family even tolerates me.

I just failed trignometry. I studied so hard, I memorized the formulas the whole thing. And yes I take Adderall, not that it works but I've tried so many and none of them do much.

But as soon as I got there I got dizzy and tired and I slowly forgot everything.

Even equations I literally just saw right before that exam.

I forgot it all

I just, I don't get it.

How do you guys just go through life?

Everyone with ADHD in my life has bachelor's and masters, I am the only failure in my family.

I don't know what to do.

I just want to pass college and get a job I like and my own place but I am so dead broke 😭

I can't even work while taking classes because I fail, I have to take classes on their own.

And even that is too much, I had to start taking classes one at a time.

I recently went to try two classes at a time but...

Just useless brain

Really useless. ;-;

Everyday I complain, everyday I want to cry, everyday I am mad and irritable over some new thing, everyday I am so tired I want to sleep and sleep and sleep

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I have always been an incredibly emotional person but I know to t least try to keep that inside

That's what normal people do

Now everyday I want to cry and I can't even eat anymore

I can't keep my emotions to myself. It's not fair to other people. They don't know if I am mad or happy or sad moment to moment. I feel so bad for being this way, no one deserves to feel on edge around me because I can't control my emotions.

I don't know what to do

There is no solution.

I just want another reason to complain and cry again.

And then tomorrow another thing will happen and the day after that and the day after that.

Is this even an ADHD thing? No one else I know with ADHD has this

I am the one who can't make friends and can't be normal and talk normal and just act normal

How do I fix this? I want to know what it is and fix it. I want to fix it and not deal with it again for a couple of years like a car.

It's not depression. Someone is going to say it is depression and it's not. anti depressants don't work. They never have.

I never know why I feel the way I do and I don't know why I do certain things.

For example when I was doing my math class I kept failing. I didn't understand where I was getting lost. I failed 2 exams because of this!!! Only during finals did I realize, the problem j was having is that I couldn't remember how to divide, multiply, subtract, or add fractions. So I was trying to figure out how to do the problems without doing that, making me give up.

It took me weeks to realize this.

I realize it happens a lot but only if I manage to catch it.

Like how once I was asked if I kept things like notes and dates, and I said no. I didn't remember doing that.

But I look back in my room at all of the junk and trash, and after a while I finally realized I was hoarding it.

I didn't want it to go, as if they were memories in themselves.

How am I living my life in a blur? How do I not realize what I am doing? I couldn't even recall how long I have been doing these things. For all I know I only became this way a couple years ago, but I just can't remember at all....

Is it even normal to feel this way?

What ADHD symptom is doing this to me?

I don't even know If tagged this right. I don't feel like this is a vent, but I do feel sad. I guess. I don't know what about this is sad. I don't know this is annoying.