Struggling with Islam
Hi everyone I (17f) is struggling with Islam and I’ve noticed it late 2025 I got in trouble and it caused me to become super religious in a short period of time when prior to that I wasn’t really strict on Islam. I was a very strict Muslim with myself for around 2-3 months praying on time Quran daily no music black abaya niqab for a little barely any makeup I was judging others very harshly too. Then in January I fell off completely missed salah full face of makeup I stopped caring to fully cover my neck and stuff music and just bad stuff I got back on for Ramadan I prayed tahhajud for umrah and alhamduilah I went. I was very happy I prayed and after Ramadan I stopped I didn’t read Quran I didn’t pray nothing and now I haven’t prayed in a month I few salah here and there but I haven’t prayed all five in a day in at least 2 months. I hate to say it but I’ve started fake praying too in front of my parents. I can’t bring myself to pray or make wudu I was going to take off my hijab in secret, but I opted not to because ik if I do I wouldn’t be practicing at all. I can tell I’m becoming lost im upset that I don’t pray and stuff but it’s also hard for me to want too I feel like Allah abandoned me because he gave me so many chances and I fumbled them every time.