u/GraceyLikesArt

So basically at the time I hadn't driven in like 4 months and I had been asking my parents to let me drive almost everyother day. Finally my mom caves ine day and lets me drive us home from whatever place we were at. Of course I was a learner driver and didn't have all the skills down perfectly and still relied heavily on the fully licensed adult who was in the car with me, which in this case was my mom.

I get in the driver seat, I'm fully ready to drive to wherever we gotta go, get out of the parking lot nicely, I'm ready to turn onto the road and she tells me to pull onto the first lane, which was very close to a line of parked cars. I turn and start to panic and my mind goes blank. I ended up over turning while going like very slowly and ended up bumping into a van(there was nobody in it so no one got hurt thankfully.) My mother of course had been screaming, not any words of any kind, just screaming the whole time. I also had two siblings (older than me) in the back also screaming.

Now my mom after that left a note, dropped the siblings off at home and took me driving around a block, I ended up doing well there and I even parked the car into the garage.

While I was alone with my mother she had told me a story about how she had once taken her parents car while she was first learning and crashed it. Except she wasn't in the car with a supervisor. She also told me that when I told her I was getting pretty good at driving with my instructor(which had been 4 months ago) she trusted that. She told me that in these situations you have to take accountability and apologize. She wanted me to apologize to her, which I did. I am very confused because that just doesn't exactly make sense to me, because my thoughts were that usually when you go driving with a parent you expect them to be a little better at helping you drive while you are on the road. But anytime I'd try to voice my thoughts on the situation she'd get offend and say that I was accusing it of being her fault when in reality I was trying to say that it felt unfair to completely blame me for this.

So basically my mom was helping practice driving and didn't say or do anything while I bumped into another car, then told me that it was my fault. AITAH?

Waves of cool air crashing over me

Heat tapping lightly on my skin

The sun hiding under the covers of the clouds

The smell of earth, grass, dirt, and cold

The thought of you, still lingering

Your absence in the air

Sitting on a park bench,

trees shading my hair

Streams of your memory washes over me

Your fingers drumming faintly along my skin

Distant whispers of people sounding

The wind hisses harsh hymns

Thoughts of you keeps me company

Ideas of you bring me comfort

One day you will be somebody

that sits next to me on this park bench

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9Cbs3L5nD0

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ZZSEeAX994

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If you guys want to read a long post about a shitty guy. You're in luck.

I became friends with this guy last year. We were really close, he would text ne every day and he would vent to me about his mental health and I would do the same. We relied on eachother heavily for mental health. But the thing is he had a girlfriend. I know its no excuse but I have zero experience with guy friends and have told him this and tried not to cross boundaries. I'd never text him, or try to take away his time with his gf. If he was on call with her and texting me I'd tell him to focus on his gf. If he was crossing physical boundaries I'd tell him to stop, I even asked if hos gf was okay with how much we would text or with the fact we'd text often late. He said she didn't mind and knew we were friends but the way he said it just told me that he wasn't being 100% honest.

Being friends with him turned weird fast. He would subtly touch me, make comments about my appearance, my best friends told me often he'd try to isolate me from them. I became completely dependent on him. And before anyone asks, yes I cared about him but I respected his girlfriend too much to have feelings for him. But apparently not enough respect to do the smart thing and tell her about the things he was doing. I feel so stupid about that now. We both did some form of martial arts and initially would bond over that and would "wrestle" eachother often which I didn'tquestionit cuz we were friendsand I thought it was normal and he did say it was a normal friendthingto do, but sometimesthere were certain positions that were not quite I'd say user friendly. I kinda thought it was weird but everyone else treated it like it was normal so I did too. Eventually he started calling me his sister and anytime we would do something like sit next to eachother or he'd lay his head on my shoulder and someone said something he'd say "She's like my sister, she's my sister its okay". This important because the story gets worse.

So he was touchy with me, I would constantly tell him that physical touch makes me uncomfortable (because I often don't like when people touch me) and that I find it hard to voice my boundaries. He would still do that.

Okay so now we reaching the really bad part. We went on a trip together that was sports related. I just gotten out of a situation, I was sad, confused and vulnerable. In the trip to the place we were going, he would lay his head on my shoulder, grab me, and at one point he grabbed me in a way where I fell into his lap, and then he kinda just held me there. And I was really tired and couldn't really get up so I ended up falling asleep there. Yeah bad idea. I hate it and cringe so bad it hurts thinking about it. I should of got up, it wouldn't of been that hard. God what was I thinking. During the trip he noticed how out of it I was and he asked do you need like "physical touch to keep you grounded?". I was like physical touch, tf does that mean? So my stupid ass thought he was gonna give me a hug or something. No. He starts holding my hand, putting his arms around me. Treating me like his gf. Then that night we texting eachother and I'm freaking out because I felt like that was cheating and I'm calling and texting my sister. And he tells me "maybe we should only do this when nobody's watching, cuz your like my sister and like I don't want rumors and stuff yk?" My dumbass almost agreed. Instead I grew tf up and said no this is wrong, siblings don't do that, you beed to tell your gf whats been going. Of course I told him to that bc 1 I'm and idiot and 2 I didn't want them to break up bc of me and 3 if they did my friend said he would ykw himself.

Thats part 1. Should I do a part 2? I might anyways cuz this is more for me to finally get closure so idk. I'm not 100% right here I know that, but I don't jnow how to describe it, there was more manipulation and somehow he got me to think our relationship dynamic was normal, even though I'm a girl who knows what cheating looks like and knows better but somehow what he said just went. And now I'm paying the price for it..