I definitely don't want to work in food service anymore. I hate it here. I can't even get real hours.
I, like most people with this fabulous disorder, attach things like my job to my personality. (Or rather lack thereof)
I've moved so the credits didn't cross. I don't even really think I want to work in the medical field directly. Whether or not I change my mind later, who knows? When I became a mother (my son is going to be 3 😭) I wanted to do everything and no one talks about how much energy it takes just to figure out how to breastfeed. Usually my answer to what I did all day was "spilled milk and cried and then the baby also cried the whole time". I gave in and put him in daycare a few months later and that and parenting groups were amazing and I'd love to support parents like that. The only thing about being a daycare educator is I have BPD.
I'm emotionally unstable, I cry when I get upset, and I also need to do breathing exercises and count to ten. DBT really improved my life but if I don't find a stable job to pay bills, it's all or nothing with the way my brain wired itself.
I also want to be a good parent and have one more kid so it'd be great to work where I can take care of both. Googling how others teach and parent with BPD did not make me feel better. I thought I was pretty patient as far as mums go, but I have one meltdown that scared him and I feel like the worst person ever, and I'm just scared I'll ruin everything.