Hello there 👋🏻😄

I am making this post in hopes of finding some peps to play with here are some of the games i’m looking/am playing atm

Marvel Rivals

Just looking to play quick play really and the blood hunt mode currently no ranked,happy to flex obviously or teach someone new to the game or even someone who has never played the game before to find their footing

Dead by daylight

Currently the 2v8 mode is out and there is alot of bloodpoint boosters (i like blood points sue me) so would love to have someone to play dbd with if possible

Fortnite

The day i start unironically playing fortnite huh,but yea i don’t touch the br anymore playing exclusively creative experiences its primarily been tycoons lately but open to any and all suggestions from other people

Roblox

Tad simliar to fortnite though i did play roblox in my childhood back when builders club was a thing anyone remember that? Anywho unlike fortnite i’d say my games are more varied but i’m used to just jumping on whatever other people wanna do but i have some games in my backlog too so ^^

It goes without saying i’m open to other suggestions too just hmu in the dm’s with any of these or other games that your maybe looking to play and we can look into it ^^

Hope to hear from y’all soon

Hello there 👋🏻😄

I am making this post in hopes of finding some peps to play with here are some of the games i’m looking/am playing atm

Marvel Rivals

Just looking to play quick play really and the blood hunt mode currently no ranked,happy to flex obviously or teach someone new to the game or even someone who has never played the game before to find their footing

Dead by daylight

Currently the 2v8 mode is out and there is alot of bloodpoint boosters (i like blood points sue me) so would love to have someone to play dbd with if possible

Fortnite

The day i start unironically playing fortnite huh,but yea i don’t touch the br anymore playing exclusively creative experiences its primarily been tycoons lately but open to any and all suggestions from other people

Roblox

Tad simliar to fortnite though i did play roblox in my childhood back when builders club was a thing anyone remember that? Anywho unlike fortnite i’d say my games are more varied but i’m used to just jumping on whatever other people wanna do but i have some games in my backlog too so ^^

It goes without saying i’m open to other suggestions too just hmu in the dm’s with any of these or other games that your maybe looking to play and we can look into it ^^

Hope to hear from y’all soon

Hello there 👋🏻😄

I am making this post in hopes of finding some peps to play with here are some of the games i’m looking/am playing atm

Marvel Rivals

Just looking to play quick play really and the blood hunt mode currently no ranked,happy to flex obviously or teach someone new to the game or even someone who has never played the game before to find their footing

Dead by daylight

Currently the 2v8 mode is out and there is alot of bloodpoint boosters (i like blood points sue me) so would love to have someone to play dbd with if possible

Fortnite

The day i start unironically playing fortnite huh,but yea i don’t touch the br anymore playing exclusively creative experiences its primarily been tycoons lately but open to any and all suggestions from other people

Roblox

Tad simliar to fortnite though i did play roblox in my childhood back when builders club was a thing anyone remember that? Anywho unlike fortnite i’d say my games are more varied but i’m used to just jumping on whatever other people wanna do but i have some games in my backlog too so ^^

It goes without saying i’m open to other suggestions too just hmu in the dm’s with any of these or other games that your maybe looking to play and we can look into it ^^

Hope to hear from y’all soon

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i feel i can truly express and be myself while texting feels extremely limiting for me and at times even exhausting it gives me an little insight into how actual introverts feel about actually socialising, i think there is a time and place for texting of course but largely i prefer talking over the phone.

I am also currently working on a Spotify playlist with songs that represent how i feel if that makes sense,i’m more than happy to share it and break down any song you’d like me to,note some songs have deeper meanings than others to me

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can be kinda clingy and even abit possessive of the people 😅 but thats usually people i only really vibe with

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

**What i am looking for:** i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i feel i can truly express and be myself while texting feels extremely limiting for me and at times even exhausting it gives me an little insight into how actual introverts feel about actually socialising, i think there is a time and place for texting of course but largely i prefer talking over the phone.

I am also currently working on a Spotify playlist with songs that represent how i feel if that makes sense,i’m more than happy to share it and break down any song you’d like me to,note some songs have deeper meanings than others to me

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can be kinda clingy and even abit possessive of the people 😅 but thats usually people i only really vibe with

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

What i am looking for: i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i feel i can truly express and be myself while texting feels extremely limiting for me and at times even exhausting it gives me an little insight into how actual introverts feel about actually socialising, i think there is a time and place for texting of course but largely i prefer talking over the phone.

I am also currently working on a Spotify playlist with songs that represent how i feel if that makes sense,i’m more than happy to share it and break down any song you’d like me to,note some songs have deeper meanings than others to me

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can be kinda clingy and even abit possessive of the people 😅 but thats usually people i only really vibe with

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

What i am looking for: i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i feel i can truly express and be myself while texting feels extremely limiting for me and at times even exhausting it gives me an little insight into how actual introverts feel about actually socialising, i think there is a time and place for texting of course but largely i prefer talking over the phone.

I am also currently working on a Spotify playlist with songs that represent how i feel if that makes sense,i’m more than happy to share it and break down any song you’d like me to,note some songs have deeper meanings than others to me

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so if your looking for a FP could be it here 😅

**What i am looking for:** i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i feel i can truly express and be myself while texting feels extremely limiting for me and at times even exhausting it gives me an little insight into how actual introverts feel about actually socialising, i think there is a time and place for texting of course but largely i prefer talking over the phone.

I am also currently working on a Spotify playlist with songs that represent how i feel if that makes sense,i’m more than happy to share it and break down any song you’d like me to,note some songs have deeper meanings than others to me

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so if your looking for a FP could be it here 😅

**What i am looking for:** i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i feel i can truly express and be myself while texting feels extremely limiting for me and at times even exhausting it gives me an little insight into how actual introverts feel about actually socialising, i think there is a time and place for texting of course but largely i prefer talking over the phone.

I am also currently working on a Spotify playlist with songs that represent how i feel if that makes sense,i’m more than happy to share it and break down any song you’d like me to,note some songs have deeper meanings than others to me

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so if your looking for a FP could be it here 😅

What i am looking for:

i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i feel i can truly express and be myself while texting feels extremely limiting for me and at times even exhausting it gives me an little insight into how actual introverts feel about actually socialising, i think there is a time and place for texting of course but largely i prefer talking over the phone.

I am also currently working on a Spotify playlist with songs that represent how i feel if that makes sense,i’m more than happy to share it and break down any song you’d like me to,note some songs have deeper meanings than others to me

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so if your looking for a FP could be it here 😅

**What i am looking for:** i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i don’t feel i can truly express or be myself texting than i can just simply talking on the phone.

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i don’t feel i can truly express or be myself texting than i can just simply talking on the phone.

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i don’t feel i can truly express or be myself texting than i can just simply talking on the phone.

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

(For context i wrote half of this last night and then the remainder today which is where the split is but it is all sorta related)

You know its weird,just had a good night with my buddy playing and chatting yet when we call it a night which was alittle overdue but not regretted and when i’m left to my own devices i slap on some old music guess i was in a fallouty mood

With a brief walk outside in the midnight darkness and then i’m back in that kitchen of the house i spent years at but not much anymore

Guess it brings back memories,i remember talking to kimchi (an old friend) in that very same room late at night between my mid to late teens before it all went wrong

Not like i was fully happy back then but…i look in the fridge for a midnight snack thats not there,my body is tired yet my brain is more alive than ever

I wouldn’t call this an extensional crisis but it’s certainly a weird reflective period of sorts,enlightenment? Not the 1st time i’ve felt it in life for sure familiar yet rare

I wonder if sacha (again another old friend but more recent than kim) even thinks of me,i am almost certain kimchi doesn’t,i’m sure blue does as rare as it is and it’s certainly not pleasant…i wonder again what my purpose is

Am i supposed to succeed,to be happy…or simply survive. Or is my final chapter closer than i realise?

Surely I can’t be miserable for the next 60 years surely something has to go right? Or surely i will be allowed to rest in peace soon
——————————————————————————
Was on a call with someone earlier that day too,nice girl full of energy just met felt we really clicked but even as that time came to an end something felt off…like it wasn’t mutual that i had done something wrong

And low and behold a day later that much came clear to me,nothing back from them slience…the ghosting treatment

And this isn’t the 1st time recently either so i ask myself what is wrong with me,what makes me so repulsive and off putting to people… i genuinely wish that i knew but i don’t

I just want to feel like i belong for once, that i am valued by someone,that I’m needed by someone. Yet all i ever feel like or am is a burden,forgotten overlooked used and thrown away like some kind of cumrag excuse the vulgar nature of the phrase but it genuinely feels that dehumanising to me

Like my feelings don’t matter or least matter less than others,i’m like a sad puppy scratching at it’s door waiting for its carer to return

And when it finally does,it’s disinterested in you,it looks through you…and walks past as if you don’t exist or matter

I can’t say how often i think about people i wait for people i want to spend time with people and how often i get overlooked and dismissed

It’s a feeling i’ve had for many years that has become a regular feeling that only now i’ve managed to vocalise and put into words or text in this case

Relying back to what i said earlier,am i meant to be happy people frequently tell me yes but events sing a different tune

(For context i wrote half of this last night and then the remainder today which is where the split is but it is all sorta related)

You know its weird,just had a good night with my buddy playing and chatting yet when we call it a night which was alittle overdue but not regretted and when i’m left to my own devices i slap on some old music guess i was in a fallouty mood

With a brief walk outside in the midnight darkness and then i’m back in that kitchen of the house i spent years at but not much anymore

Guess it brings back memories,i remember talking to kimchi (an old friend) in that very same room late at night between my mid to late teens before it all went wrong

Not like i was fully happy back then but…i look in the fridge for a midnight snack thats not there,my body is tired yet my brain is more alive than ever

I wouldn’t call this an extensional crisis but it’s certainly a weird reflective period of sorts,enlightenment? Not the 1st time i’ve felt it in life for sure familiar yet rare

I wonder if sacha (again another old friend but more recent than kim) even thinks of me,i am almost certain kimchi doesn’t,i’m sure blue does as rare as it is and it’s certainly not pleasant…i wonder again what my purpose is

Am i supposed to succeed,to be happy…or simply survive. Or is my final chapter closer than i realise?

Surely I can’t be miserable for the next 60 years surely something has to go right? Or surely i will be allowed to rest in peace soon
——————————————————————————
Was on a call with someone earlier that day too,nice girl full of energy just met felt we really clicked but even as that time came to an end something felt off…like it wasn’t mutual that i had done something wrong

And low and behold a day later that much came clear to me,nothing back from them slience…the ghosting treatment

And this isn’t the 1st time recently either so i ask myself what is wrong with me,what makes me so repulsive and off putting to people… i genuinely wish that i knew but i don’t

I just want to feel like i belong for once, that i am valued by someone,that I’m needed by someone. Yet all i ever feel like or am is a burden,forgotten overlooked used and thrown away like some kind of cumrag excuse the vulgar nature of the phrase but it genuinely feels that dehumanising to me

Like my feelings don’t matter or least matter less than others,i’m like a sad puppy scratching at it’s door waiting for its carer to return

And when it finally does,it’s disinterested in you,it looks through you…and walks past as if you don’t exist or matter

I can’t say how often i think about people i wait for people i want to spend time with people and how often i get overlooked and dismissed

It’s a feeling i’ve had for many years that has become a regular feeling that only now i’ve managed to vocalise and put into words or text in this case

Relying back to what i said earlier,am i meant to be happy people frequently tell me yes but events sing a different tune

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i don’t feel i can truly express or be myself texting than i can just simply talking on the phone.

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

I am a very extroverted person who values good company, I feel at times i can be socially awkward at 1st but soon as i get comfortable with an individual (or get seriously into a topic and go on a tangent) i can yap on for hours, but i can also be a good listener too.

It should go without saying that i much prefer calls to text conversations as i don’t feel i can truly express or be myself texting than i can just simply talking on the phone.

i highly value deep and maybe even controversial conversations, as well as i do loyalty as thats rare these days but i can’t say i don’t mind abit of humour either wether it be sarcastic, crude or even dark
i can also be kinda clingy too though least with those who i vibe with anyway

I am also on the autism spectrum,suffer from depression & anxiety and suspect i may even have bpd so there is that 😅

i am ideally looking for someone i can build a Long-term relationship,someone whom i can have a deep emotional connection.

Honestly someone i can lean on emotionally but also someone who isn’t afraid to open up to me when stuff is getting to much for them too,i can be clingy as previously mentioned and i can be emotionally fragile too dealt with alot of hurt in the past and never really had anyone to protect me back then and i guess thats something i crave in a way now

I should say that i feel more comfortable with girls or fem leaning people when it comes to emotions,historically speaking guys just tend to be cold or give me the typical “man up” response

Not something i expect most people to be able to give that last one but it’s certainly something i would like

I also tend to connect better with younger people also,i don’t mean that in a creeper way just mentally i feel younger than i actually am and tend to just jell better

I’d also love someone to game with if that was at all possible providing we have a few games in common and well if you game to begin with, or even just someone i can spend time with over calls on a regular basis nevertheless i’m more than happy to stream my game whenever i’m on a call with someone anyway wether we plat or not

Or even someone i can watch a series with or even football or f1 races as i alluded to in my interests earlier,or we could even listen to music together. In a way i just like people to be present in my life and me myself to be proactive

If you Feel we’d get along don’t hesitate to hmu as my DMs are open to all, just tell me abit about yourself so we can break the ice and we can go from there i always appreciate any company or attention ^^

perhaps the title caught your attention and your looking for the same thing i am, i’ve been looking for a true friend almost my whole life and i feel i’m taking a huge leap here

I will warn before going any further that this is a very long post and not one that should be scim read,and its one that contains alot of sensitive information so i would digress with a bit of cation

But again wether you read this in multiple readings or use text to speech or whatever do whatever makes this easy to digest as i know its alot to take in

Again if you take a glance down think its too long and think “fuck that” just click off and scroll on with your day,just cause you clicked on don’t mean you have to stay

Again sorry if that came across tad aggressive it’s just to attempt to stop trolls from trying to kick me down but anyways

what i’m looking for is something very specific I’m not looking for casual or surface level friendship i’m want something far deeper than that and realistically i’m someone with very high emotional and social needs so I’m preferably looking for someone in the same vein otherwise it probably wont last all that long and i really don’t need false hope in my life atm

I should mention that i don’t have a job nor am in a current form of education for reasons i would prefer to avoid going into rn so because of that i am a homebody who doesn’t go out much and is extremely socially isolated

So because of that i am Ideally looking for someone to fill up most if not all hours of my day as i can get extremely lonely and etc, in an ideal world having one person i spend most my day with daily would be perfect but realistically thats super unlikely so i don’t expect that so what i’m really looking for is someone i can spend a decent amount of time with a day on a daily or if not least regular basis

I’m looking for Someone like myself who goes to bed and wakes up anxious fearing how to fill up the following day ahead

I’m looking for Someone who like myself needs to call and at that frequently, i’m tried of being alone i want someone i can spend most my time with and i feel i can best be myself and express myself via call and connecting through text is difficult for me

I am looking for someone who is either neurodivergent or neurodivergent friendly,i’ve dealt with alot of ableist people other the years even with hiding my autism but these days i tend to be more open about that

as well as being on the autistic spectrum i also heavily suspect I have BPD. I know the stigma around BPD, but I believe openness and honesty is the best way to go about these things so I want to be upfront about it. If you are or suspect that you have BPD or just BPD coded i feel we’d connect better also

Because of that I can be very clingy and emotionally intense person, and need reassurance as i am very delicate and fragile

I also get attached to people very quickly because of that which is why I’d prefer someone who is the same

If this sounds anything like you or something that you could provide please continue to read further

About Me:

My name is Jack/Chloe respectively I am Genderfluid, you’re welcome to refer to me as which ever gender you feel is right or preferred but i will make clear of the fact that i am AMAB.

I’d describe myself as someone with a kind heart and has good intentions but overtime, through pain and hardship, I’ve become more much morally grey cynical and guarded, but that naive child and that softness still exists inside me somewhere.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I get attached quickly, which is why i prefer someone who is very committal and not stand offish, i very much need someone who is honest and transparent with me

I’m a very patient person with valid and clear communication but i have a very low tolerance of bullshit, so again with honestly and transparency they shouldn’t be any problems but if not then yea

I’m a very sensitive person and admittedly let my emotions drive my decisions, when i can remove emotions from a situation or i’m not deeply involved i can be a very logical and rational person and offer support or advice in certain things despite maybe struggling in those situations myself

So if your reaching out with the mentality of “no harm in reaching out right” if you have a doubt in your mind things wont work i’d much prefer you didn’t because if i get my hopes up and things go crashing down and you end up leaving or even if we mutually decide to it just crushes me and demotivates me to try again so please if this is a “see where it goes for you” respectfully stay away

While I do sometimes get socially anxious and can misread or overthink things, I always try to own that and work through it.

I would also describe myself as a funny person i’d say my humour consists of sarcasm dad jokes raunchy humour dark jokes you name it

I would also say i’m a person to ramble vent and rant for hours (if this post doesn’t make that clear already) and as much as i love doing that and the sound of my own voice

I’d also consider myself to be a good listener to contrary to what some might say wether you just wanna ramble about something your passionate about or talk about your day or a funny memory or vent about something that’s bothering you or a previous situation that still holds wounds for you i’m more than happy to listen offer advice or even help directly if and where possible

I’m an extremely loyal person and i’m not one to betray backstab or break a promise with anyone

I’m based in England and would prefer to connect with someone who’s also within Europe, just for timezone ease.

But i’m not entirely against talking to people from other parts of the world either such as the Americas (north and south) and Asia and rest of the eastern world in some cases it maybe prefered being available early day for the east and later evening from the west

Interests & Hobbies

Gaming

one thing I’m extremely passionate about is gaming,i love it as a passtime as its my most extensive one,infact it was my one only real interest for about 17 years so i’d say that its one that means my world to me,i love gaming with people socially whenever i can and i even know the history as far back as the gaming crash of 1983, i have dozens of different consoles and games from different eras so yea i really am that much of a gamer so having someone i could play with would be amazing, if your not into gaming yourself personally i am not opposed to streaming games to you

As far as gaming goes my predominant platforms are on xbox and steam respectively, so crossplay games work anything on xbox works,if you play on pc gamespass those games should work or anything through steam itself,i only have the steam deck and despite the system being able to idk how to use and implement other store fronts

Shows/Anime

Admittedly my attention span when watching shit isn’t the best,maybe thats some undiagnosed ADHD but when i can get myself to sit down and watch something it’s good

Generally i prefer more animated shows as i just find them easier to watch but i’m not opposed to watching your the boys,breaking bad etc

I also enjoy animes my 2 all time favourites being intial d and toradora and not an anime but another show I’m obsessed with currently is invincible

again watching a show with someone else would be a nice social activity to maybe one someone would be more open too would also help keep me engaged in watching more

Music

Another thing i enjoy is music,got Spotify premium for reason and like all kinds of music be more than happy to share my playlist, and another thing i love doing is preforming wether that be singing or playing the keyboard i love to share my music talent and interest with people not being big headed but its one of the few things i take pride in

Speaking of taking pride in my vocal talents impersonations and shit rocks my socks too,good at doing accents and shiz and would say i have dry wit humour

Sports

Got into football around 2018 with the world cup started out causally but then started following club football but unfortunately i did decide a good use of my mental health and time was to support the greatest team in world football that being Manchester united

If you know anything about the sport you can imagine the immediate regret of that decision, over the years thought of switching (not necessarily to a glory team) to a team that actually shows passion and cares for the badge on the shirt but for better or worse i stuck by them

Formula 1 however i got into around 2023 after excessively getting into the f1 22 game on gamespass and falling down the rabbit hole of peter brook videos (iyk yk) and then given i had access to sky i decided why not watch a grand prix being Canada 2023 and i cant say i didnt enjoy it

Unfortunately since losing a friend around late 2023 i kinda fell off the sport not being able to get back into it fully but it’s still one i very much have an interest in, i was tore between supporting ferrari and mclaren i did alot of research about the history of f1 and preferred to support a team that would be around for the long run and not disappear or rebrand as most do so originally i went with ferrari for a season but after realising the laughing stock they were and supporting united was bad enough i did contemplating switching to McLaren before their recent resurgence

Spirituality

have an interesting in astrology and stuff of that nature, i dont have any knowledge in the field its self nor is it something i think i could ever personally learn and give up but if anyone ever happens to be knowledgeable in those fields and be able to give information on that sorta stuff i’d be more than happy to listen

More recently I’ve also been exploring other spiritual-type stuff too like tarot card reading and even witchcraft. I’m still pretty new to it all,but I find it interesting and I like learning about it from people who already know more.

Traveling

I have been a shutin my whole life and never really explored the world or seen what it has to offer so the idea of traveling both scares and intrigues me,but realistically i feel i’d need someone with me to achieve that dream

This of course would be long term and down the road but an interest nevertheless, i’m not sure what awoken this passion to travel inside me, was it decussion of travel with a former close friend of mine,or a show i went to in Manchester both certainly contributed to it that’s for certain

I guess i’d like to start by traveling my own neck of the woods sorta speak,wether that be by bus or train but across time i’d be more open to traveling internationally just baby steps i suppose

Language Learning

Despite only being fluent in a singular language, that be the mother tongue i am writing this post in currently, i have always had an interest in learning other languages one that i have had a specific passion and interest in learning would be german

Another of which is Spanish not as much as german but a close second that sticks out, i did get dunlingo but just not had the motivation to stick to it,so maybe having a friend that would help with that would be nice

Had a german friend once that would be there when i did it keeping me much more engaged so that would be nice

So if you happen to speak another language and be willing to teach me i’d love to learn

Roleplaying

Roleplaying is something i’ve always had an interest in on and off over the years but unfortunately i’ve never had real success with it. The number of times i get invested in a roleplay just for the person to dip and drop is unbelievable to a point i genuinely struggle to get invested in roleplays in fear or gettint dropped,which ironically causes me to do the exact thing i hate being done to me and still happens

Like when it comes to roleplays i always have an idea or a dynamic or a direction i wanna go but we never really ever get to that point

Now for anyone reading this part i’m not really looking for a roleplay partner,i mean there is places for that,more a friend if we so happen to have time to roleplay would be good for me but again don’t message with the intend of that

Closing Words

If you’ve read all of this thank you i appreciate that massively, now when contacting me please try to answer the following

Tell me about similarities about ourselves past and current situations

Tell me about Common interests we share and can enjoy together

Your availability and timezone

And finally why you feel we’d be a good fit

What I’m realistically looking for is someone like me,with tons of free time who prefers calling and if you share interests we can partake in together all the better

I know I’m asking for a lot, but I know the kind of friend I can be and what i can provide in return loyalty,commitment,presence i will be there for you listen and give advice with any problem or situation your dealing with all i ask is that you support me to

So if this resonates with you and you feel we’d be a good match and we desire the same things with the same intensity then please i urge you to reach out.

perhaps the title caught your attention and your looking for the same thing i am, i’ve been looking for a true friend for awhile now in many cases my whole life

I will warn before going any further that this is a very long post and not one that should be scim read,so wether you wanna do it in multiple readings or use text to speech or whatever do whatever makes this easy to digest as i know its alot to take in

what i’m looking for is something very specific I’m not into casual or surface level friendships i’m looking for something far deeper than that and realistically i’m someone with very high emotional and social needs so I’m preferably looking for someone in the same vein otherwise it probably wont last all that long and i really don’t need false hope in my life atm

I am an individual who is socially isolated and alienated from the world but craving socialisation and a real friend something that’s not easy to come by

Someone with extensive free time no real obligation doesn’t really go out anywhere like myself and just wants to spend that time with someone

Someone like myself who goes to bed and wakes up anxious fearing how to fill up the following day ahead

Someone who like myself needs to call and at that frequently, i’m tried of being alone i want someone i can spend most my time with

And someone who is either neurodivergent or neurodivergent friendly,i’ve dealt with alot of ableist people other the years even with hiding my autism but these days i tend to be more open about that

If this sounds anything like you or something that you could provide please continue to read further although i must forewarn that this is a long read and i hope we are what we’re looking for let’s begin with introducing myself shall we

About Me:

My name is Jack/Chloe respectively I am Genderfluid, you’re welcome to refer to me as which ever gender you feel is right or preferred but i will make clear of the fact that i am AMAB.

I’d describe myself as someone with a kind heart and has good intentions but overtime, through pain and hardship, I’ve become more much morally grey cynical and guarded, but that naive child and that softness still exists inside me somewhere.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I get attached quickly, which is why i prefer someone who is simliar to me or is least very committal and not stand offish, i very much need someone who is honest

So if your reaching out with the mentality of “no harm in reaching out right” if you have a doubt in your mind things wont work i’d much prefer you didn’t because if i get my hopes up and things go crashing down and you end up leaving or even if we mutually decide to it just crushes me and demotivates me to try again so please this maybe a “see where it goes for you” but thats really not the case with me

as i mentioned earlier i’m on the autism spectrum was diagnosed around 4-5 years old and strongly suspect I have BPD. I know the stigma around BPD, but I believe openness and honesty is the best way to go about these things so I want to be upfront about it. If you’re neurodivergent too, or suspect or are on the BPD spectrum we may connect much better on that

I’m a very sensitive person and admittedly let my emotions drive my decisions, when i can remove emotions from a situation or i’m not deeply involved i can be a very logical and rational person

I can be clingy and emotionally intense person, and need reassurance and would describe myself as very delicate and fragile…i break easily.

I also get attached to people very quickly which is why I’d prefer someone who is the same but despite that I value deep emotional bonds and have little to no interest in more causal meaningless conversations or connections

I’m a very patient person with valid and clear communication but i have a very low tolerance of bullshit, so if your transparent and honest with me we will be fine and i will give you time and understanding without that i cant promise much

While I do sometimes get socially anxious and can misread or overthink things, I always try to own that and work through it.

I would also describe myself as a funny person i’d say my humour consists of sarcasm dad jokes raunchy humour dark jokes you name it

I would also say i’m a person to ramble vent and rant for hours (if this post doesn’t make that clear already) and as much as i love doing that and the sound of my own voice

I’d also consider myself to be a good listener to contrary to what some might say wether you just wanna ramble about something your passionate about or talk about your day or a funny memory or vent about something that’s bothering you or a previous situation that still holds wounds for you i’m more than happy to listen offer advice or even help directly if and where possible

I’m an extremely loyal person and i’m not one to betray backstab or break a promise with anyone

I’m based in England and would prefer to connect with someone who’s also within Europe, just for timezone ease.

But i’m not entirely against talking to people from other parts of the world either such as the Americas (north and south) and Asia and rest of the eastern world in some cases it maybe prefered being available early day for the east and later evening from the west

Ideally i’m looking to fill up most if not all hours of my day with people as i can get extremely lonely and etc, in an ideal world having one person i spend most my day with daily would be perfect but realistically thats extremely and super unlikely so i don’t expect that so what i’m really looking for is someone i can spend a decent amount of time with a day on a daily or if not least regular basis

I should also mention that i don’t currently have a job nor a current form of education at the moment for reasons i would prefer to avoid going into so because of that among other reasons i don’t really go out or anything so i do have a ton of free time on top of that i am very much lacking of friends both irl and online and being socially deprived for a extremely long time.

Interests & Hobbies

Gaming

one thing I’m extremely passionate about is gaming,i love it as a passtime as its my most extensive one,infact it was my one only real interest for about 17 years so i’d say that its one that means my world to me,i love gaming with people socially whenever i can and i even know the history as far back as the gaming crash of 1983, i have dozens of different consoles and games from different eras so yea i really am that much of a gamer so having someone i could play with would be amazing, if your not into gaming yourself personally i am not opposed to streaming games to you

As far as gaming goes my predominant platforms are on xbox and steam respectively, so crossplay games work anything on xbox works,if you play on pc gamespass those games should work or anything through steam itself,i only have the steam deck and despite the system being able to idk how to use and implement other store fronts

Shows/Anime

Admittedly my attention span when watching shit isn’t the best,maybe thats some undiagnosed ADHD but when i can get myself to sit down and watch something it’s good

Generally i prefer more animated shows as i just find them easier to watch but i’m not opposed to watching your the boys,breaking bad etc

I also enjoy animes my 2 all time favourites being intial d and toradora and not an anime but another show I’m obsessed with currently is invincible

again watching a show with someone else would be a nice social activity to maybe one someone would be more open too would also help keep me engaged in watching more

Music

Another thing i enjoy is music,got Spotify premium for reason and like all kinds of music be more than happy to share my playlist, and another thing i love doing is preforming wether that be singing or playing the keyboard i love to share my music talent and interest with people not being big headed but its one of the few things i take pride in

Speaking of taking pride in my vocal talents impersonations and shit rocks my socks too,good at doing accents and shiz and would say i have dry wit humour

Sports

Got into football around 2018 with the world cup started out causally but then started following club football but unfortunately i did decide a good use of my mental health and time was to support the greatest team in world football that being Manchester united

If you know anything about the sport you can imagine the immediate regret of that decision, over the years thought of switching (not necessarily to a glory team) to a team that actually shows passion and cares for the badge on the shirt but for better or worse i stuck by them

Formula 1 however i got into around 2023 after excessively getting into the f1 22 game on gamespass and falling down the rabbit hole of peter brook videos (iyk yk) and then given i had access to sky i decided why not watch a grand prix being Canada 2023 and i cant say i didnt enjoy it

Unfortunately since losing a friend around late 2023 i kinda fell off the sport not being able to get back into it fully but it’s still one i very much have an interest in, i was tore between supporting ferrari and mclaren i did alot of research about the history of f1 and preferred to support a team that would be around for the long run and not disappear or rebrand as most do so originally i went with ferrari for a season but after realising the laughing stock they were and supporting united was bad enough i did contemplating switching to McLaren before their recent resurgence

Spirituality

have an interesting in astrology and stuff of that nature, i dont have any knowledge in the field its self nor is it something i think i could ever personally learn and give up but if anyone ever happens to be knowledgeable in those fields and be able to give information on that sorta stuff i’d be more than happy to listen

More recently I’ve also been exploring other spiritual-type stuff too like tarot card reading and even witchcraft. I’m still pretty new to it all,but I find it interesting and I like learning about it from people who already know more.

Traveling

I have been a shutin my whole life and never really explored the world or seen what it has to offer so the idea of traveling both scares and intrigues me,but realistically i feel i’d need someone with me to achieve that dream

This of course would be long term and down the road but an interest nevertheless, i’m not sure what awoken this passion to travel inside me, was it decussion of travel with a former close friend of mine,or a show i went to in Manchester both certainly contributed to it that’s for certain

I guess i’d like to start by traveling my own neck of the woods sorta speak,wether that be by bus or train but across time i’d be more open to traveling internationally just baby steps i suppose

Language Learning

Despite only being fluent in a singular language, that be the mother tongue i am writing this post in currently, i have always had an interest in learning other languages one that i have had a specific passion and interest in learning would be german

Another of which is Spanish not as much as german but a close second that sticks out, i did get dunlingo but just not had the motivation to stick to it,so maybe having a friend that would help with that would be nice

Had a german friend once that would be there when i did it keeping me much more engaged so that would be nice

So if you happen to speak another language and be willing to teach me i’d love to learn

Roleplaying

Roleplaying is something i’ve always had an interest in on and off over the years but unfortunately i’ve never had real success with it. The number of times i get invested in a roleplay just for the person to dip and drop is unbelievable to a point i genuinely struggle to get invested in roleplays in fear or gettint dropped,which ironically causes me to do the exact thing i hate being done to me and still happens

Like when it comes to roleplays i always have an idea or a dynamic or a direction i wanna go but we never really ever get to that point

Now for anyone reading this part i’m not really looking for a roleplay partner,i mean there is places for that,more a friend if we so happen to have time to roleplay would be good for me but again don’t message with the intend of that

Closing Words

If you’ve read all of this thank you i appreciate that massively, now when contacting me please try to answer the following

Tell me about similarities about ourselves past and current situations

Tell me about Common interests we share and can enjoy together

Your availability and timezone

And finally why you feel we’d be a good fit

What I’m realistically looking for is someone like me,with tons of free time who prefers calling and if you share interests we can partake in together all the better

I know I’m asking for a lot, but I know the kind of friend I can be and what i can provide in return loyalty,commitment,presence i will be there for you listen and give advice with any problem or situation your dealing with all i ask is that you support me to

So if this resonates with you and you feel we’d be a good match and we desire the same things with the same intensity then please i urge you to reach out.

perhaps the title caught your attention and your looking for the same thing i am, i’ve been looking for a true friend for awhile now in many cases my whole life

I will warn before going any further that this is a very long post and not one that should be scim read,so wether you wanna do it in multiple readings or use text to speech or whatever do whatever makes this easy to digest as i know its alot to take in

what i’m looking for is something very specific I’m not into casual or surface level friendships i’m looking for something far deeper than that and realistically i’m someone with very high emotional and social needs so I’m preferably looking for someone in the same vein otherwise it probably wont last all that long and i really don’t need false hope in my life atm

I am an individual who is socially isolated and alienated from the world but craving socialisation and a real friend something that’s not easy to come by

Someone with extensive free time no real obligation doesn’t really go out anywhere like myself and just wants to spend that time with someone

Someone like myself who goes to bed and wakes up anxious fearing how to fill up the following day ahead

Someone who like myself needs to call and at that frequently, i’m tried of being alone i want someone i can spend most my time with

And someone who is either neurodivergent or neurodivergent friendly,i’ve dealt with alot of ableist people other the years even with hiding my autism but these days i tend to be more open about that

If this sounds anything like you or something that you could provide please continue to read further although i must forewarn that this is a long read and i hope we are what we’re looking for let’s begin with introducing myself shall we

About Me:

My name is Jack/Chloe respectively I am Genderfluid, you’re welcome to refer to me as which ever gender you feel is right or preferred but i will make clear of the fact that i am AMAB.

I’d describe myself as someone with a kind heart and has good intentions but overtime, through pain and hardship, I’ve become more much morally grey cynical and guarded, but that naive child and that softness still exists inside me somewhere.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I get attached quickly, which is why i prefer someone who is simliar to me or is least very committal and not stand offish, i very much need someone who is honest

So if your reaching out with the mentality of “no harm in reaching out right” if you have a doubt in your mind things wont work i’d much prefer you didn’t because if i get my hopes up and things go crashing down and you end up leaving or even if we mutually decide to it just crushes me and demotivates me to try again so please this maybe a “see where it goes for you” but thats really not the case with me

as i mentioned earlier i’m on the autism spectrum was diagnosed around 4-5 years old and strongly suspect I have BPD. I know the stigma around BPD, but I believe openness and honesty is the best way to go about these things so I want to be upfront about it. If you’re neurodivergent too, or suspect or are on the BPD spectrum we may connect much better on that

I’m a very sensitive person and admittedly let my emotions drive my decisions, when i can remove emotions from a situation or i’m not deeply involved i can be a very logical and rational person

I can be clingy and emotionally intense person, and need reassurance and would describe myself as very delicate and fragile…i break easily.

I also get attached to people very quickly which is why I’d prefer someone who is the same but despite that I value deep emotional bonds and have little to no interest in more causal meaningless conversations or connections

I’m a very patient person with valid and clear communication but i have a very low tolerance of bullshit, so if your transparent and honest with me we will be fine and i will give you time and understanding without that i cant promise much

While I do sometimes get socially anxious and can misread or overthink things, I always try to own that and work through it.

I would also describe myself as a funny person i’d say my humour consists of sarcasm dad jokes raunchy humour dark jokes you name it

I would also say i’m a person to ramble vent and rant for hours (if this post doesn’t make that clear already) and as much as i love doing that and the sound of my own voice

I’d also consider myself to be a good listener to contrary to what some might say wether you just wanna ramble about something your passionate about or talk about your day or a funny memory or vent about something that’s bothering you or a previous situation that still holds wounds for you i’m more than happy to listen offer advice or even help directly if and where possible

I’m an extremely loyal person and i’m not one to betray backstab or break a promise with anyone

I’m based in England and would prefer to connect with someone who’s also within Europe, just for timezone ease.

But i’m not entirely against talking to people from other parts of the world either such as the Americas (north and south) and Asia and rest of the eastern world in some cases it maybe prefered being available early day for the east and later evening from the west

Ideally i’m looking to fill up most if not all hours of my day with people as i can get extremely lonely and etc, in an ideal world having one person i spend most my day with daily would be perfect but realistically thats extremely and super unlikely so i don’t expect that so what i’m really looking for is someone i can spend a decent amount of time with a day on a daily or if not least regular basis

I should also mention that i don’t currently have a job nor a current form of education at the moment for reasons i would prefer to avoid going into so because of that among other reasons i don’t really go out or anything so i do have a ton of free time on top of that i am very much lacking of friends both irl and online and being socially deprived for a extremely long time.

Interests & Hobbies

Gaming

one thing I’m extremely passionate about is gaming,i love it as a passtime as its my most extensive one,infact it was my one only real interest for about 17 years so i’d say that its one that means my world to me,i love gaming with people socially whenever i can and i even know the history as far back as the gaming crash of 1983, i have dozens of different consoles and games from different eras so yea i really am that much of a gamer so having someone i could play with would be amazing, if your not into gaming yourself personally i am not opposed to streaming games to you

As far as gaming goes my predominant platforms are on xbox and steam respectively, so crossplay games work anything on xbox works,if you play on pc gamespass those games should work or anything through steam itself,i only have the steam deck and despite the system being able to idk how to use and implement other store fronts

Shows/Anime

Admittedly my attention span when watching shit isn’t the best,maybe thats some undiagnosed ADHD but when i can get myself to sit down and watch something it’s good

Generally i prefer more animated shows as i just find them easier to watch but i’m not opposed to watching your the boys,breaking bad etc

I also enjoy animes my 2 all time favourites being intial d and toradora and not an anime but another show I’m obsessed with currently is invincible

again watching a show with someone else would be a nice social activity to maybe one someone would be more open too would also help keep me engaged in watching more

Music

Another thing i enjoy is music,got Spotify premium for reason and like all kinds of music be more than happy to share my playlist, and another thing i love doing is preforming wether that be singing or playing the keyboard i love to share my music talent and interest with people not being big headed but its one of the few things i take pride in

Speaking of taking pride in my vocal talents impersonations and shit rocks my socks too,good at doing accents and shiz and would say i have dry wit humour

Sports

Got into football around 2018 with the world cup started out causally but then started following club football but unfortunately i did decide a good use of my mental health and time was to support the greatest team in world football that being Manchester united

If you know anything about the sport you can imagine the immediate regret of that decision, over the years thought of switching (not necessarily to a glory team) to a team that actually shows passion and cares for the badge on the shirt but for better or worse i stuck by them

Formula 1 however i got into around 2023 after excessively getting into the f1 22 game on gamespass and falling down the rabbit hole of peter brook videos (iyk yk) and then given i had access to sky i decided why not watch a grand prix being Canada 2023 and i cant say i didnt enjoy it

Unfortunately since losing a friend around late 2023 i kinda fell off the sport not being able to get back into it fully but it’s still one i very much have an interest in, i was tore between supporting ferrari and mclaren i did alot of research about the history of f1 and preferred to support a team that would be around for the long run and not disappear or rebrand as most do so originally i went with ferrari for a season but after realising the laughing stock they were and supporting united was bad enough i did contemplating switching to McLaren before their recent resurgence

Spirituality

have an interesting in astrology and stuff of that nature, i dont have any knowledge in the field its self nor is it something i think i could ever personally learn and give up but if anyone ever happens to be knowledgeable in those fields and be able to give information on that sorta stuff i’d be more than happy to listen

More recently I’ve also been exploring other spiritual-type stuff too like tarot card reading and even witchcraft. I’m still pretty new to it all,but I find it interesting and I like learning about it from people who already know more.

Traveling

I have been a shutin my whole life and never really explored the world or seen what it has to offer so the idea of traveling both scares and intrigues me,but realistically i feel i’d need someone with me to achieve that dream

This of course would be long term and down the road but an interest nevertheless, i’m not sure what awoken this passion to travel inside me, was it decussion of travel with a former close friend of mine,or a show i went to in Manchester both certainly contributed to it that’s for certain

I guess i’d like to start by traveling my own neck of the woods sorta speak,wether that be by bus or train but across time i’d be more open to traveling internationally just baby steps i suppose

Language Learning

Despite only being fluent in a singular language, that be the mother tongue i am writing this post in currently, i have always had an interest in learning other languages one that i have had a specific passion and interest in learning would be german

Another of which is Spanish not as much as german but a close second that sticks out, i did get dunlingo but just not had the motivation to stick to it,so maybe having a friend that would help with that would be nice

Had a german friend once that would be there when i did it keeping me much more engaged so that would be nice

So if you happen to speak another language and be willing to teach me i’d love to learn

Roleplaying

Roleplaying is something i’ve always had an interest in on and off over the years but unfortunately i’ve never had real success with it. The number of times i get invested in a roleplay just for the person to dip and drop is unbelievable to a point i genuinely struggle to get invested in roleplays in fear or gettint dropped,which ironically causes me to do the exact thing i hate being done to me and still happens

Like when it comes to roleplays i always have an idea or a dynamic or a direction i wanna go but we never really ever get to that point

Now for anyone reading this part i’m not really looking for a roleplay partner,i mean there is places for that,more a friend if we so happen to have time to roleplay would be good for me but again don’t message with the intend of that

Closing Words

If you’ve read all of this thank you i appreciate that massively, now when contacting me please try to answer the following

Tell me about similarities about ourselves past and current situations

Tell me about Common interests we share and can enjoy together

Your availability and timezone

And finally why you feel we’d be a good fit

What I’m realistically looking for is someone like me,with tons of free time who prefers calling and if you share interests we can partake in together all the better

I know I’m asking for a lot, but I know the kind of friend I can be and what i can provide in return loyalty,commitment,presence i will be there for you listen and give advice with any problem or situation your dealing with all i ask is that you support me to

So if this resonates with you and you feel we’d be a good match and we desire the same things with the same intensity then please i urge you to reach out.