u/Good_Blackberry_6696

TLDR; BF talks to his long time girl friend the same way he talks to her kid and I don't know how to feel about it based on their past.

So my (24F) boyfriend (Alex, 25M) talks to one of his girl friends (Cass, 25F) like she is a child and it bugs the heck out of me, wibta if I brought it up again?

For some backstory on them; they have been friends since highschool and she has a kid now, the father is out of the picture, though she has been dating someone new for at least a couple months. Before we started officially dating almost 2 years ago he was a sort of comfort for her, he would send me snaps of them in her bed (completely clothed) sometimes during the day and sometimes at night. We weren't dating at the time so I truthfully didn't care, and now we live together so he spends every night with me, but he still works with her at a small firm and sees her basically every morning before they go their separate ways as they do not work in the same department. Some days he gets up and leaves early to get them coffee, talk about her kid, etc.

Outside of their work, I am always there when they hang out because my bf invites me. She always has her kid with her, which is lovely, I love the little tyke - but he has trouble walking sometimes so one of us has to carry him, and most of the time that's Alex because Cass just 'doesn't want to.'

Now we get to yesterday when we decided to go over there to hang out with Cass and her kid, this is the first time I have actually been to her place. Alex was comfortable the whole time because he's been there before, and I only became uncomfortable when he said he didn't really want to drive to go get food and she said "I'll motivate you." -- what?? That's when I started paying more attention to the way they talk to each other; and he talks to her the same way he talks to her little boy - in sort of a stern baby voice. It weirds me out. I mentioned it by saying "You talk to Cass the same way you talk to \[\_\_\]...?" and he just responded "yea, and?" wtf am I supposed to do??

Further context: We've had arguments over her before, once because he had mentioned he gave her a massage (he's not officially licensed yet, but he's taken classes for it and hopes to buy a table and do it on the side for extra cash) and I told him off for it, because unless they're paying for his service, he should not be touching another woman in any instance... right?? I have also complained about him leaving early in the mornings and seeing her because I know they don't work side by side during the day and we hang out as a group regularly. She also buys him lunch sometimes which is a little bit weird to me. And finally, she calls him randomly just to tell him about her day and her kid; one time while she was talking (she wasn't on speakerphone but I was sitting across from him at our shared desk space in our apartment) I saw his face light up and he was biting his lip. Just that made me sad, but then at the end of the call she said "I love you, bye" and he responded "I love you too, bye." This particular incident happened months ago, but still - Alex and I had been dating for over a year at this point. I cried after that incident and even though I told him he shouldn't be saying 'I love you' to another girl, he didn't get it because they had been friends (and cuddle buddies) for years before he met me. But keep in mind that that incident was the very first time I had heard that exchange.

Any advice is appreciated. The baby talk has been stuck in my head. Would i be the asshole if I brought up the baby talk again?

I am 100% sure that the kid isn't his. No self respecting person would lie about something like that. To address the previous anger issues - he's on medication now and that has not been an issue for awhile. He comes to therapy with me when he feels he needs to. I also need to mention that once I talk to him about something it is fixed after the first time. He is definitely more attentive to me in the whole scheme of life than her. And finally; yes, he pays his portion of the bills. In fact I only buy groceries since I do the cooking, even though we do eat out often. Most of the time I feel like I freeload off of him lol

TLDR; BF talks to his long time girl friend the same way he talks to her kid and I don't know how to feel about it based on their past.

So my (24F) boyfriend (Alex, 25M) talks to one of his girl friends (Cass, 25F) like she is a child and it bugs the heck out of me.

For some backstory on them; they have been friends since highschool and she has a kid now, the father is out of the picture, though she has been dating someone new for at least a couple months. Before we started officially dating almost 2 years ago he was a sort of comfort for her, he would send me snaps of them in her bed (completely clothed) sometimes during the day and sometimes at night. We weren't dating at the time so I truthfully didn't care, and now we live together so he spends every night with me, but he still works with her at a small firm and sees her basically every morning before they go their separate ways as they do not work in the same department. Some days he gets up and leaves early to get them coffee, talk about her kid, etc.

Outside of their work, I am always there when they hang out because my bf invites me. She always has her kid with her, which is lovely, I love the little tyke - but he has trouble walking sometimes so one of us has to carry him, and most of the time that's Alex because Cass just 'doesn't want to.'

Now we get to yesterday when we decided to go over there to hang out with Cass and her kid, this is the first time I have actually been to her place. Alex was comfortable the whole time because he's been there before, and I only became uncomfortable when he said he didn't really want to drive to go get food and she said "I'll motivate you." -- what?? That's when I started paying more attention to the way they talk to each other; and he talks to her the same way he talks to her little boy - in sort of a stern baby voice. It weirds me out. I mentioned it by saying "You talk to Cass the same way you talk to [__]...?" and he just responded "yea, and?" wtf do I do??

Further context: We've had arguments over her before, once because he had mentioned he gave her a massage (he's not officially licensed yet, but he's taken classes for it and hopes to buy a table and do it on the side for extra cash) and I told him off for it, because unless they're paying for his service, he should not be touching another woman in any instance... right?? I have also complained about him leaving early in the mornings and seeing her because I know they don't work side by side during the day and we hang out as a group regularly. She also buys him lunch sometimes which is a little bit weird to me. And finally, she calls him randomly just to tell him about her day and her kid; one time while she was talking (she wasn't on speakerphone but I was sitting across from him at our shared desk space in our apartment) I saw his face light up and he was biting his lip. Just that made me sad, but then at the end of the call she said "I love you, bye" and he responded "I love you too, bye." This particular incident happened months ago, but still - Alex and I had been dating for over a year at this point. I cried after that incident and even though I told him he shouldn't be saying 'I love you' to another girl, he didn't get it because they had been friends (and cuddle buddies) for years before he met me. But keep in mind that that incident was the very first time I had heard that exchange.

What. Do. I. Do. The baby talk has been stuck in my head.