No preferred subgenre as long as the book is a page-turner. If it's set in Canada/ the US, or Mexico/Spain, it's a huge bonus for me.
I'm trying to cut down on screen time, so I want easy reads for now if possible.
Thank you!
I have a host of health issues that are not related to OCD and that cause chronic pain and more clumsiness for me. It's been bad lately. I dropped an open tube of paint on the floor.
Of course I made a mess. I was still able to salvage most of the paint as my floor was clean and I was quick, but I've been hating myself for it.
And now the tube has a dent in it, which makes me very upset.
Sure, losing a drop of paint isn't a big deal, right? Right?
It's not even my favorite color. I just hate being wasteful, and it is a pretty color still.
This happened shortly after I dropped a painting I was making wrong side first. So it ruined part of it. I fixed it, but it doesn't look the way it was supposed to.
So I fixed it some more. Then I realized I wasted the little time I had at my disposal to fix something that would never be "not ruined".
The last straw was when I saw the picture of a 3-year-old kid painting with the most expensive watercolor paints.
I don't even own that brand. The kid had finished a painting. Probably on expensive paper. And nobody died.
Yet I feel too unworthy for cheap paper, let alone my cotton paper.
I just... What's the point in trying to make art if it triggers worse OCD?
Might as well just doom scroll or let pure OCD take over. I'm tired boss.
I recently read that if something non-essential disturbs your peace, then it's not worth pursuing.
As sad as it sounds, given how bad it's gotten for me, maybe letting my art supplies go bad slowly is less upsetting than actually using them and making a mess.
I know part of it is hoarding and scarcity. Pigments get discontinued, paper always gets more expensive... I want to get better to be "worthy" of the paint but getting better requires practice and practice requires wasting.
I'd be really grateful if someone helped me get out of this mindset because I've been stuck as a beginner.
I know I want to 🎨 and it breaks my heart that I don't trust myself with my supplies much yet.
Thank you so much!