I think I screwed up more than I realized
Me and my nesting partner (NP) have been non monogamous for all of our relation (7-ish years) with varied levels of openness.
Recently, we have tested getting more involved with other people individually (it used to be more like hook up/threesomes)
We have been dating another person for the past 8 months and have been great. We sometimes do threesomes, sometimes solo sex all in our home or other places. We work really well as a triad, but I feel they have a very strong connection and I wanted something like that, I wanted to date another person and that’s where problems started.
My NP wasn’t really into me going out with other person, but agreed as long as the limits were very clear. They both meet and didn’t get along well, but not bad. More like neutral.
Last night, my NP wasn’t at home and I had a date with this new person. We ended up hooking up. My NP mentioned they didn’t want it to happen in our house but that it was ok if we had sex. During the date we make a stop at my house and tbh, in the heat of the moment we ended up having sex.
I thought of it as a minor fault on my part, but my NP is really mad and saying it was infidelity.
I want your experience for this problem:
- Do you think it was an infidelity?
- They feel cheated, and I probably won’t change that. How do you think I can improve things without trying to change their mind?
Edit: I forgot to mention I have already decided to end things with the new person. Also some extra clarification, the fist question is to know y’all opinion, no to discuss semantics. The second is looking for honest advice when breaking a rule (and not the discussion of the rule).
Thanks all