u/Glittering-Bar-5206 — reddlx

I just don’t want to be here anymore I feel like my life has been nothing but an appearance I didn’t want to go to Trent my goal was TMU I got in but he dad said no and he was paying for it so I went to Trent me blank broke up and think he was the true love of my life he understood me like no one else did and loved me before I could ever love myself and ever since we broke up I feel lost and him being with blank and working with her hurts my heart so much everytime I don’t even want to but my mind pictures them together having the life I wanted cause I know he gave that to her after we broke up now she’s pregnant and thinks the dad is the guy she’s with but I doubt it I’ve been applying everywhere for a new job even knows I don’t want they don’t take me or I don’t get a reply unless it’s “you’re at the second stage of application” then they still say no because I don’t have enough experience I hate seeing her have the life I want I just don’t want to do this anymore at all I give up I wish I was just never born I don’t know why they had kids I wish I wasn’t the one they had I wish I was never here and blank doesn’t care about me he thinks he does but when he sees me cry he doesn’t care blank would cry just seeing me upset I’ve never seen him shed a tear and he just says think of the positive but there isn’t any other then my dad and that’s not enough to be happy I don’t even get along with my dad we just live together I just hate being here I wanted so much more I worked for it and I just get fucked over ever time and I don’t think I even did anything wrong I’ve been good my whole life and people have been a lot worse and have so much more I just don’t understand it I just wish I wasn’t here to even experience it I don’t even care about the happy parts about 2% of my life has been truly happy and everything else hasn’t and I don’t wanna sit and wait around for it to “get better” when I’ve been doing that for 19 almost 20 years it’s not fair