u/Glass_Fox7159

Background: my mom has strong narcissistic tendencies and has been a slight nightmare this entire wedding planning process. For example, she cried when I told her I wouldn’t use her pastor as our officiant, cried again when I asked if she would like to participate in morning of activities (e.g., hair/makeup) my treat bc she felt ‘attacked’ for the way she looks, and recently told me I’m being a bridezilla because I ‘don’t want her to look good’ when I told her no to a MOB dress that was 75% white.

However, she often means well and I still love her because she’s my mother and raised me. She just never emotionally matured.

Situation: We’re 120 days away from the wedding, she doesn’t have a MOB dress and I am trying to steer her towards a long, formal dress that matches our colors (in a general sense) and matches the formality of the other Mother Of dresses (3 other mothers &step mothers). She feels as though I’m bullying her to pick something she doesn’t like and spend a bunch of money (she’s not paying for any of the wedding). If I don’t steer her, she will cry on the morning of because she doesn’t look as nice as the other mothers and will tell me I set her up.

She wants to spend $50 or less on a dress (she spends $150+/week driving to and gambling at the casino), wants a casual style, and wants a color not even palette adjacent. To meet her in the middle, I said we could thrift shop or try on new dresses to find the dress she wants then buy it used within her budget. She doesn’t want to do either of those because “it takes too long”. She also decided to independently shop on a random Thursday at 10 am and told me she can’t believe I would make her shop alone. Like she’s holding her choices against me (I pick my battles with this). I also ordered one dress for her to try, and now she wants me to continue ordering dresses for her and to use my card for ‘ease’, pick them up, take them to her (store delivery is faster than home where we live), and return them. Like there are so many things going wrong.

Ask: I started setting boundaries, no longer trying to push her on the timeline, not ordering her stuff, and am not actively trying to help her. Is this what everyone else is experiencing? If so, how are you navigating this? At what point do we walk away?

tldr: I am trying to figure out how to navigate the relationship with my mom as we MOB shop and stay in an amicable space. The catch is - if I steer her too much towards what the other mothers are wearing, she’s going to be unbelievably upset that i am trying to “force” her to be something she’s not. If I don’t steer her, she’s going to tell me I’m a horrible daughter on the day of the wedding when she is under dressed comparatively to the other mothers and for sure cry/storm out. how are we navigating mothers without damaging relationships?

My cerave foaming cleanser is running out, and I am trying to transition to cruelty free where I can. I do not have an exfoliator nor cleansing balm/oil, but constantly find times where I would want one. Also, potentially something for eye makeup removal. Right now I’m relying on micellar water for basically everything.

I’m hoping for recommendations for effective cruelty free options for dry skin that are worth it.

I am considering the below, but would love any feedback or alternatives that may be better than the below:

Cleanser
\- Thayer’s milky mushroom cleanser
\- Tatcha Rice Wash Cleanser

Exfoliator
\- Zo Skin Health Exfoliating Polish

Cleansing Balm/Oil
\- farmacy green clean cleansing balm

I started going to a new med spa based on great reviews and ease of scheduling. I immediately got a membership for ‘banking’ credits to use for my next appointment and discounts. I recognize I should’ve made it through my first three months before committing to a membership, but it’s saving almost an appointment worth of $$ due to additional discounts on skinceutical restocks I need that they carry.

On to my dilemma.I have been getting xeomin for 3 years, and, for the first time ever, the results of 100 units of tox in my face lasted less than 1.5 months before almost full movement is back. Normally it takes 6 months for me to have full movement after 100 units. This leads me to believe they’re over diluting because, although they’re one of the largest med spas in the area, they are also the most affordable.

I have to continue there until I meet my membership requirement minimum time, so what do I do in the interim? My thought is I could mention that I think it was over diluted and the ask them to adjust, but that feels crazy because I’m not in a certified medical field. It’s like telling a doctor what to do based off of webmd lol.

What are other solutions folks have considered?