u/GiorgioBroughton

List your occupations and points breakdown if you’re invited please!

There is a lot of context to share in one post.

The company I work for has seen a massive staff run and as a result, work has compounded for those who stayed, with backfills only covering 5% the equivalent of total departed. (Assume 100 left, only 5 hired). Typical cinderella story.

In the last 6 months, HR and my manager have been making up stories and data mischaracterising my performance - e.g., saying my office attendance is lower than it actually is, then when I run the data for the office attendance reports, they admit to their “error”.

In similar ways, there have been multiple scenarios where wins are never celebrated and any mistake, whether tiny or large, will be announced and be a cause of punishment.

I have been there 2 years, out of which an entire year I had no manager because, well, we had no one to manage me! Eventually, I landed under a toxic manager who started delegating their work to me without any oversight or support. Just total piling on my workload. I have been working 45-50 hrs weekly since I started, even though I am contracted as an FTE at 38 hrs. Despite raising concerns that I am at capacity, and my mental health is suffering, management keep skirting these comments saying, “we will support you” in emails, only to cover their backs, then doing absolutely nothing to support me.

I have exceeded sales targets, go beyond my job duties to help others, volunteer to establish processes in my group, and always show up as a team player.

To ensure I continue performing at my best, I requested a new manager. This was denied. So I asked why? And proposed exploring alternatives like me reporting back to my old manager.

However, the department lead came back today saying that they would not only NOT accommodate this request, but that also I would be placed under a performance improvement plan. I am sick to my stomach!

I have never worked for anyone this unethical. For context, the company revenue has been steadily declining, in congruence with the talent run. Leaders are now forced to “trim the fat” and they can’t fire me unless there is a reason: hence the fake underperforming narrative.

To make matters worse, they only let me know today at 4pm and my meeting is tomorrow morning. So I am now preparing my data to show I comply with company policy and our revenue/sales targets.

Can I be forced to sign a PIP or can I ask to review first?

Is FairWorks even worth it if they try to say I’ve complained too much (by raising concerns with 4 emails over the span of a year)?

I’m dumbfounded.

We are looking into couples therapy, but the anxiety is crippling me while waiting for a response from an available therapist. We have been together 2 years.

Over the weekend my 37M boyfriend 43M told me that due to all the problems I bring to his door, he’s no longer sexually attracted to me. He said I bring his stress from a 1 to a 9, and kill his zen.

Worst part is that this boyfriend is pressuring me to move in with him when I told him I am not ready yet. I feel gutted because he’s not wrong - I have been under a lot of work stress, family trauma and health problems that have worsened. However, instead of finding emotional support I find him emotionally invalidating my experiences instead of comforting me.

We have a lot for each other, and he keeps telling me before bed every night, “remember how much I love you” but I simply don’t feel loved. He keeps asking me “do you feel loved?” sometimes when watching TV, and I honestly just stay silent because at times the answer is a blaring “obviously not!” but I cannot utter those words. So I stay quiet until he points it out. It’s brutal.

I’ve done a lot in our relationship, he has too - I think we have both shown up for each other in different ways, so it’s absolutely soul-crushing that he shares he is no longer sexually attracted to me. We have not had sex in a year. I don’t think I can carry on with this, let alone move in with him.

TL;DR Boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex anymore and I think our relationship may be doomed.