Basically, I messed up two weeks ago when I accepted from my boss to drop me off after work. It was on his way, and I accepted even though I was feeling that it will make my bf mad. I will not try to justify that as it hurted him a lot. From my perspective, I have a good professionnal relationship with my boss, but lately I had more attention from him regarding work. Meaning that he's giving me more and more responsibilities which ends up spending time with him, but nothing unprofessional, fully work related.
He never expressed that it pissed him off. After I told him that my boss dropped me, he gone really mad and decided to end things, and told me that he will not marry me, that he was trying to see the wife in me, but I'm not. I just tried to accept all of this since I was the one who messed up.
I will spare a lot of details since the story is long. Following that week, he started following some new girls, knowing perfectly that it makes me feel insecure, I told him in the past that, but I knew that he was doing it on purpose to hurt me.
We didn't really stopped talking until he decided to meet at the end of the week. We talked things out and I thought that maybe we can go through this.
The weekend held a lot of tension but we made it through. We had a lot of intimacy moments to, let's say, reconnect. He even suggested to plan for the first time a trop together to another country. I was so happy. We had a small fight at the end, about resentment where I told him "you teached me to be resentful/get revenge since that what you do" he went really mad after that and left.
I apologized a lot, a looooot.
After leaving my apartment, the nightmare began. His Instagram account is going crazy. He's adding every girl that is coming his way. Every girl. I'm feeling like shit.
I called out his behavior, tried to say that it makes feel unworthy, ugly, unloved, he said "it means nothing" and then said "you are not the only having rights in this relationship" "Are you trying to ou the blame on me?" "Don't try to cry for that" Things like that.
We are currently not talking, I don't know if we are still together, and he's just continuing to do it.
I sent a dm to one of the girls. And I found out that they met last year a couple of times (not alone, with people) and on a party, he never talked about, ever.
I am questioning everything. He made feel so unworthy of being myself, and now I find out that he went to a party with half naked girls when he gets mad if I tell him to go get a drink with a girl friend ?
I am completely lost, I don't want to end things, I don't know if I deserve all this after what I have done in the beginning.
TL;DR:
I accepted a ride from my boss, knowing it might upset my boyfriend. He reacted by saying I’m not “wife material” and basically ending things. After that, he started following lots of girls, which felt intentional and hurtful, while dismissing my feelings. We briefly reconnected, but after another argument, his behavior escalated again. Now I feel confused, hurt, and question my worth, while also wondering if I deserve this because of my initial mistake.