u/Future_Resolution385

I never wouldve abandoned you.

Emotionally or physically.

I wouldve been strong enough to endure.

Without a moments rest.

I wouldve never pushed you away.

Never gave you a reason to doubt.

A reason to look away.

I wouldve never left your side.

Or grew apathetic to your cries.

So used to your lies.

I wouldve been strong enough to endure.

For both of us.

In another life our son would have survived.

I wouldnt have let them slip you those drugs.

And break your water.

Cutting off his oxygen supply.

We told them not to.

And never got justice.

The final straw that broke me.

It was my duty and i failed the both of you.

Leaving you alone.

Overdosed on fentanyl.

Our son fought for his life for thirty minutes.

Drowning in your blood.

While you were unaware.

While they said it was fine.

They told me to leave and i did.

That alone is enough for me to deserve this reality.

I tried once again to kill myself for that.

But i havent yet been granted my release.

I happily except the ending written for me.

In another life i would have opened up to you.

Like ive only ever been able to do on these anonymous posts.

And we couldve shared our pain together.

And endured.

But instead, i cowered, and ran.

In another life we lived happily ever after.

Me, you, dante, vero, and marianna.

Somewhere on a couple acres.

With a bountiful farm and fat chickens and goats and cows and horses.

A family compound away from the drugs and violence and perversion.

Everything we dreamed of.

In another life.

But in this one.

Im but a sinner.

Who could never see past his own pain.

Until it was too late.

If only there was a soul who understood me.

But I’m the only one who deserves this suffering.

I, alone.

Cant help but wish to be seen.

For once in my life.

Im only human.

And so i leave snippets of my soul.

Scattered about.

For wandering eyes.

And lost souls.

As much as i wished it was you.

Who could finally see me.

I know I’m the last thing you’re looking for.

Finding comfort in the arms of another.

Raising my son without me.

As i slowly fade away.

Making peace with my mistakes.

I gave my all to you long ago.

I have nothing left to offer.

But my life.

In the hopes that your pain can die with me.

And you can find the happiness you deserve.

After everything you’ve been through.

Everything i put us through.

This is what i deserve.

For all my sweet words and good intentions.

Ive always been the villain of the story.

From my parent’s divorce.

To the many i have lead to pointless deaths.

I am a failure.

Who couldn’t save his own son.

I couldnt protect you.

Or my baby brother.

Or my mother.

I can barely walk straight anymore.

My vision worsens by the day.

Unfocused and blurry.

Dizziness and blackness eating away.

The few i have saved don’t nearly balance the scales.

And yet my greatest desire is to one day reclaim the love and trust you had for me at the start.

Before i let them tear you apart.

What i would do to see that one more time.

But youre so far gone.

Happier than ever.

I would hate to disturb that.

For a moment of happiness.

That would bring a life of pain.

It’s better this way.

Id rather be hated than mourned

I never deserved love anyways.

Cursed from the start.

Ive always been alone.

I should just accept my fate.

Any day now.

I cant take this pain any longer.

Bring me my salvation.

Let evil burn as i do

Im sorry you dont see the battles i fight for you.

The demons i face know no honor.

Hiding their true intentions behind pretty words and promises of fortune.

They struck you before i knew we were surrounded by enemies.

My trust in you diminished.

Your faith in me non-existent.

As i bled from wounds that never reached the surface.

Predators love to see a moment of weakness.

Attracted by the smell of blood and fear.

Why is it that you also looked for the same ?

As if that would prove my devotion.

As if my tireless efforts weren’t enough.

Locked in a never ended battle.

Invaders from all directions.

Wanting a taste of whats supposed to be mine.

And my own heart clawing its way out of my chest.

Wanting to give them a piece.

Just to see if i lied.

Betrayal never comes from the enemy.

The only unforgivable sin in the kingdom of light.

Even the healers did nothing but damage me further.

Drilling holes through my bones.

Leaving me alone.

As infection seeped its way in.

And i rotted from the inside.

I taught myself to walk again.

As my bones shifted with every movement.

I taught myself to talk again.

I still have trouble translating these thoughts into words.

A hesitation developed from a brain that burst.

Leaving me dead for 3 days.

Moments from being cut into pieces and recycled.

I barely was saved.

Pulled from a vehicle registered to me.

They did not know my name.

Ready to chop me up.

How much they would gain.

And still i pushed on.

Lost in a daze.

I forgot who i was.

But never did stray.

From the path that i walk.

80 hour weeks.

As i worked at both jobs.

I couldnt feel my legs.

But my feet never stopped.

These drugs that they gave.

No choice but to pop.

Way more than intended.

I never did say how much pain i digested.

Blood came from both ends.

But my family needed me.

And so did you.

I walked it off easily.

As far as they knew.

As the screws they tried to leave in me.

Scraped and they chewed.

Threw tissues and spine.

You tested me more.

And i stood up just fine.

To demons bigger than me.

Waiting in line.

For a bite of a girl.

So young its a crime.

But this state changed the law.

No 16 year old should be allowed to go off.

With men old enough to be your father.

But a pattern ive seen.

Is blue states like to “empower” their daughters.

I was barely older than you.

Forced to compete with men.

Bored and craving abuse.

If only you knew.

They wanted me to sacrifice you.

I told you id kill them for what they did to you.

All it would take is to choose.

You said that you liked it.

As you lay naked and used.

I knew right then.

What i had to do.

I picked up a new flag and a pistol.

And drew a line in the sand.

I told you my kin folk bout that life.

I had to go back to that man.

I didnt wanna be.

I thought i was free.

But when i took your hand.

And your eyes said you needed me.

I knew i couldnt leave.

Deep down past the trauma.

I knew there was no one but me.

Not even your momma.

Could save you from the streets.

All times you made my heart bleed.

Years and for years.

You never could see.

I ran out of tears as a kid.

But somehow they appeared.

And just as i feared.

You turned your back on me.

As soon as the coast was clear.

Im happy you’re free.

Living the life that you want.

But the demons i faced are still around to haunt.

I sacrificed so much of my life to you.

I told you i didnt have long.

I paid the price for you.

You said i did you wrong.

Id give my life for you.

You dont see what goes on.

As i lose sight of you.

My vision lives on.

I know what i must do.

You just move on.

I dont want to frighten you.

But im only so strong.

I shouldve died so many nights.

And you.

Never seen what i was like.

Before i was broken.

I gave it all to you.

I can barely keep going.

But its only right i choose.

You.

One more time.

Even as I’m slowing.

My love for you will never die.

So look away or close your eyes.

And just remember the moment.

Under the moon.

When i said my vows.

Every word was true.

No need to doubt.

My time is coming soon.

You cant be allowed.

To see what ive done for you.

Hollowed and harrowed.

I was always the one for you.

No need for a crowd.

My love for you.

Means i can be proud.

Even if you.

Cant understand how.

I could let you go.

Only lord knows.

I loved you the most.

They cant hide.

The Truth cannot be denied.

The Truth.

Waiting on the other side.

The Truth has come to light.

The Void swallows his cries.

The veil of deception.

Erected to protect their transgressions.

No need for a confession.

Millions harvested for parts.

Corpses dissected and expensive.

Trillions invested.

No need to guess their intentions.

Children drawn from the light.

The root of evil has captured their sight.

Love lost.

Lust living in pride.

The seventh seal has been broken.

The whore grows stronger.

And suffers for longer.

Flaunting in the open.

To capture and conquer.

Families broken.

Children left to wander.

Lies that are spoken.

Twist their emotions.

For a new breed of monster.

With no love for The Father.

The Father watched in silence.

As he was reminded.

The watchers descended.

With beauty so blinding.

Their pain unending.

As they corrupted the earth.

Feasting on the flesh of many.

Their children were cursed.

The cycle repeats.

He sighs in defeat.

The Son he believed.

Could lead them to peace.

Drowned in the blood of The Mother.

Before he could breathe.

Forgive them Father.

For they do not know what they eat.

Poisoned from birth.

Fed lies by the church.

Schools normalize the perverse.

And slaughter those who try to reverse.

The demise of My Work.

Forgiveness is earned.

The Truth has been learned.

And they still choose to burn.

My Son.

You deserved better.

They know what they do.

The Spirit of Light lives in all.

Whispering the path of whats right.

And they still choose to fall.

Innocence denied.

Taken. No chance to fight.

Sacrificed to moloch.

And Baal.

The Serpent thrives.

The Beast rises.

The Mother suffers in silence.

The Father watches.

The Spirit inside.

Ignored.

My Son.

It is time.

The suffering of The Truth.

Will be felt by all.

Corrupting influence burned.

From the inside out.

Guilt shall gnaw at their bones.

Tears filling their eyes.

As The Truth is revived in memory.

Blissful ignorance revoked.

The life of the yolk.

Once treasured.

Now measured with pokes.

Nothing is sacred.

Nothing is safe.

Sin walks free.

Naked and unashamed.

Life as they made it.

This time.

All will suffer in your place.

As nations fall.

And fire rains from the sky.

They cant hide.

The Truth will not be denied.

None are innocent.

The Wrath of The Father delivered.

Salvation from The Lord.

A savior.

Made from blood.

And from light.

A new sacrificial lamb.

That has known nothing but suffering.

Born from a murderer.

And a whore.

Taught nothing but sin.

And only known love by its pain.

Shall be granted the peace he desires .

A release from his torment.

And Everlasting peace in his absence.

For he carries The Truth in his heart.

And all will be judged.

In the coming days.

Time runs short.

Turn to the light and begin repentance.

False idols will not save you.

I’ll always love you and my bebe. There wouldnt be one without the other. And i dont regret anything but my own weakness. Forever and always. But id rather die than live with any more lies. Even if i must give up everything. I will change this world before i go. I already have. The embers have barely begun to spark as the body count reaches hundreds of thousands. You are better off without The Truth but that is what i live for. The path has been decided. The prophecy must be fulfilled. My pain and sacrifice is not for nothing. Even if you never appreciated it. Lesser men wouldve never rose again