u/Future_Meet2292

I do work since I still hate the thought of being poor more than working, but I see almost everything what comes with being an employee somehow humiliating and ridiculous - I’m doing everything I can to make myself independent, bc I’d rather have that stress than keep doing this.

Let me explain
First, you gotta send out tens, or even hundreds of applications to companies - to keep doing the same thing after being rejected so many times is degrading itself, especially considering how HR people usually don’t even read through your application - yet you’re even supposed to write a cover letter licking their ass

Then, if you’re lucky, there’s an interview, where you have to perform, and answer the stupidest questions to appeal to some people that give zero fucks about you and your time, as they’re probably having you wait weeks after that - after being told you made a really good impression and made to believe you actually get a chance this time, they either ghost you or send you some standard rejection email.

And if you do get the job, it’s actually even worse. You’re an adult, you bring your own decisions, pay your bills and taxes just like everyone else, maybe even have a family - and now you have to beg to another random human being if you want to take a few days off to spend time with them. And if they say no you fucking don’t, you miss your kids birthday or other important life events just because another adult that happens to be your boss told you so.
You can’t just leave early to go to the doctors, you need their fucking permission.
At work, you have to perform 24/7, I don’t mean the actual work, I mean the classic office small talk where they ask how you are doing and as soon as you share anything personal they use it against you.
They tell you how to dress, and even if you’re an ADULT, now, if your boss says no piercings, you have to take them out, like when you were 16. and your parents disliked the way you dress. The only difference is these are random ass humans and unlike your parents they don’t love you, they just see you as a money making machine and act like you should be thankful to be controlled by them.

You also have to be very polite and helpful towards them - even if they treat you like a dog, don’t let you take days off when you want, demand you to work overtime, talk badly about you behind your back, etc.
They also have the right to correct your slightest mistake, while you can’t say anything if you disagree with them.
They are worthy of respect but you aren’t.

You follow tons of rules, exhaust yourself, spend less time with your family, dress and talk the way they want you to, perform all day, whilst knowing you’re just a tool for them to use to get richer, that they can replace any time.

Any time I’m reminded of any of these at work I get disgusted by the fact that I let all this happen to me. It all feels so degrading and false.
I have no clue how neurotypicals don’t see this and how all of this shit is normalised. Like wtf do you mean you’re okay with dressing the way another random ass person told you, like you were a kid and they were your mom. Employment is basically begging for permission for the most basic stuff and having to be thankful for it to people that give 0 fucks about you and for whom you cease to exist as soon as you leave your workplace.

Talking back to your boss if they’re acting retarded should be normalised for real. I hate how people somehow feel entitled to respect just because they happened to live longer than me and are in higher positions now. I’m not gonna be respectful towards anyone that doesn’t treat me like a human being.

I’m asking this because I’m seriously worried about a loved one’s future that hasn’t worked for over 10 years due to Asperger’s & anxiety and still doesn’t really see the problem with it.

What made you realise that’s not the way to live? What helped/motivated you start working again?

I'd like to beging with the fact that I live in Europe and my post is about European (especially
Western) healthcare.
Here everyone is obligated to pay health insurance from their salaries, the costs vary according to your income but everyone has the same access to healthcare „for free" if they need something (if you're unemployed, the state pays for your insurance).

Now, if someone's trans, they need to see different doctors, undergo certain examinations (covered by insurance ofc) and then they can normally get any gender affirming treatment or operation without having to pay for it extra - even though it's not medically necessary for their bodies to be healthy.

Trans folks/allies usually explain this by saying how being trans is a burden mentally, leads to psychological/psychiatrical issues, even suicide if the access to gender affirming care is denied.
(Now I don't want to debate about the validity of identifying as transgender, I have my own views on it but my issue exists regardless how valid someone finds claiming to be trans.)

However, cis folks also do suffer from certain physical traits they have, like a big/weird shaped nose, breasts being too small, facial features that are out of proportion, and yet they always have to pay fucking thousands of euros, usually multiple month's salaries if they want to undergo plastic surgeries to correct those features, unless they cause medical problems as well (like not being able to breath properly bc of the shape of their nose, etc) - many of us even travel to other countries where its somewhat more affordable to get the work done. Even though having a hard time finding a partner be of one's looks or just generally feeling shit and insecure bc of physical traits you dislike can also lead to mental health issues, mainly regarding one's self esteem. And if you‘re poor, then good luck hating yourself for the rest of your life.

I, for example, am neurodivergent, and was always extremely focused on my looks, there are days I don’t want to leave the house bc I think the tip of my nose is too big and round - yet the only way to correct it is paying a lot of money for rhinoplasty.
Another example I find really unfair: I want kids. My breasts will probably be loose after breastfeeding them, especially if I get three like I want - and then I‘ll feel like shit for my boobs looking bad, and have to pay A LOT again for breast correction (while not being able to work full time bc of the kids) while trans people get implants for free. Like how is that fair, if we both suffer from our breasts mentally, but only one of us can get their surgery covered by the literal same insurance?!

Or: I was always terrified of aging and I still do, I cried a lot when I noticed I don’t look as good anymore as I did at 18-20, and even hated myself for it. Now I get botox, which again, costs a lot. Whilst trans folks get hormonal therapy for free, even though physically they‘d do just fine without it like I without botox.

I‘d genuinely be interested why the people that disagree think, that the mental issues cis folks possibly have bc of the way they look, are less important/bad than those of trans people.