Never thought I would want kids, but my bf does when hes older (were same age) and honestly me too.
I only ever saw myself potentially having kids with another woman (im bisexual) but I love my boyfriend and want to stay with him. Assuming we stay together another 8-10 years, how would i proceed?
Never thought I would care but here we are. I'll do my best to keep it brief. Basically, my best friend (who is a girl) at work is known to only really be around guys who have slept with her. Anytime she hangs out with a man, you can assume they've slept together.
Of course, im except. Im the first guy shes been close to that has had no interest in sleeping with her. Ive had a bf pretty much the whole time, who she knows and loves as well. But we've known each other longer. As time passes, I've grown abit protective of her. She was in a situation with a guy she blocked at work, he was obsessed and acted controlling. I did notice when anytime I saw him around her, I wanted him to be as far away as possible. I would deliberately go over to her, with him promptly leaving and her thanking me.
Now I have a close coworker friend who is a guy. Weve hung out in group settings twice, so were friends but not best friends. He teases me like a brother, I have no interest in him (but alot of the ladies do, tall 6'5 bald and deep voice guy). Him and my best friend and others have all been casual, nothing major all normal. Or so I thought. Best friend came over last week to tell me and my bf that she has been sleeping with my buddy for two months. Had she not told me, i wouldve never known.
Im not sure what bothers me about this. Im surprised im bothered about this. This guy has great charisma and has been known to sleep around (which adds to it, bro culture and the like). SHE has been known to sleep around, too. There was rumors, nothing concrete. Runors about me and her have been spread too, so ofc i took it as a grain of salt. But apparently i was completely wrong. Uusally i pick up on it, and im surprised i didn't. Anyway its likely i could be jealous of him. But some friends of mine (online, nobody IRL lol) thinks im jelaous of her.
On top of all that, im not even supposed to know. So now im supposed to *pretend* that im all chill and cool with everyone while feeling betrayed by this guy. Why do I feel that way? Not sure. She made the first move, he accepted. But he doesnt know i know and cant. So he thinks hes sleeping with my best friend in secret, and tbh? Im not really okay with that. But I also dont want her getting hurt, but shes an adult who can make her own decisions. But if they DO decide to be open at some point, I feel like im going to lose her. And itll change my dynamic with him as well, we all know how guys get with men who are "too close" to their girlfriends.
So im in a mostly open (about my sexuality) monogamous gay relationship and have been for a year. Its great in many aspects, but in a sense, it doesnt feel as intense anymore. Which sounds like its a good thing and maybe it is. But tbh, being able to hook up with a guy while still remaining friends or even, strangers, publicly was specifically arousing. Not only does it give this "forbidden love" type vibe, but it was also kinda cool knowing someone in *that* way and being one of the only people who knew.
Its gone bad for me before. First guy I was ever with, we were never in a relationship but were best friends. However, once I was outted in HS, i accepted it and was openly bisexual. He pretty much chose our guy friend group over me, and we werent friends at school anymore. But a couple months later, he still wanted to hang out and do stuff with me. In a way, that did make it feel more exciting. Except, back then i wanted a real relationship. He wouldnt even cuddle after sex, and would go back to gaming with the boys. While i was still there, once it was done, i was forgotten. I would always leave alone, no good byes. Just when he messgaged, i showed up. Sometimes i messaged him when I needed him though, or what I thought I needed. Eventually the pattern broke.
Being openly in a gay relationship is a strange experience. People judge you just based on who your with. I see people run away with their children when they see us together, including neighbors of ours. I dont flaunt anything whatsoever. And when im alone its not really noticed. But heteronormative culture is very much in your face when your a minority in the LGBT. I feel bad, but sometimes it wonder if the man i am now would be able to get a gf. That was something I was never able to achieve in HS, bc everyone assumed I was gay. And I leaned into it at first after my bi gf broke up with me (again bc she thought I was just gay even tho she was the one pushing me away) and so... ive never experienced a woman's touch. Part of me wishes I could've come out on my own terms. Or learned I was bisexual sooner. Instead everyone knew instantly after 1 too many people found out. Not just school either. My very supportive parents decided to tell large portions of their families, most of whom judge, or are religious. So i never even got a say then either. I just remember a few cousins acting weird and avoiding me after that.
So while yes being out can be freeing, I sometimes wish I could just exist in my life without everyone seemingly knowing, or assuming, everything about me. I wish I had longer to explore myself, and my bisexuality truly before meeting the (dare I say) love of my life, who is very monogamous and very not open to any kind of fling or threesome. So yeah, went on abit of a rant lol sorry bout that 😅
edit: clarity
So obviously it cant be *too* unpopular, ie slurs or political, which is fine. But it also cant be low effort? I dont even know what constitutes a low effort post, nor does it seem like I broke any rules? Unpopular opinion but that sub kinda sucks.
Also, since it was removed there, what do we think here?
Edit: just realized you need to read from image 3 backwards bc I put it in wrong, oops
So my hair is at an awkward middle part stage. Stuck between keeping it growing, or cutting it to a modern mullet hairstyle (which ive had before and loved, also had long hair before that)
I wont lie, ive used chatGBT. Ive used it to help structure my chapters (not write them mind you) since I have adhd and need a bullet point structure to stay on track.
Other than that? I dont use it. I still woud like to be a published writer someday. I even want an animated series for my trilogy i plan to write. But if AI is replacing thousands of these jobs in less than 2 years, those dreams are more fried than a french fry at McDonald's sitting at the bottom of a fryer for 5 years.
And even if im really good? People would assume its ai anyway. "Eh, its *too* perfect. Must be AI." If you know how to write and use basic language skills, well congrats! Youre now flagged for using AI.
The fuck has this world come too. Im sticking to blue collar bc honestly the future seems bleak and dystopian. Wish I grew up as a 90's kid so i had more time to live life without the fear of AI taking over a writing career that hasnt even started yet.
Art and writing are so important to me. It got me through really hard times. Middle school, covid, family drama. Sometimes it feels like my identity could just be replaced with a robot. Then I worry that maybe i just dont have any personality at all. I wish there were laws that banned excessive use of AI and data centers. Ugh
Just wanna say as a fellow bi man, I wish yall nothing but the best in terms of making strong friendships and dating. I know it can be hard, but it can be done. Today marks my 11 month anniversary with my bf, longest relationship ive ever had. We have our own place, a dog, and a cat (i already had the cat).
Feel free to chat below in comments, everyone please be respectful 🙏