My husband (28M) wants to divorce me (27F)
We have been having issues with communication for a while. Our arguments are always explosive, belittling, and just end up in a stalemate. We’ve been together for 10 years, 8 of them married. We have a 3 year old daughter.
I ended up venting to an old guy friend via social media because of how disconnected I felt. He found out and immediately accused me of cheating. I blocked the guy and stopped further communication. Fast forward a month after that, my husband brings up divorce and I agree at first. I ended up asking him to try couples counseling which he agreed to at first. During that time we were waiting for our appt, I asked if we could sleep in different rooms. 3 days into that, he gets upset I’m “not trying” since I’ve not been affectionate or intimate with him. He tells me to leave the house so I do. 2 days after I’ve been out of the house, I find out he brought some woman and her kid over around our daughter. He says they hung out for about 6 hours at a kids place. I was really hurt by this and even asked him why he thought it was okay to do that and yet still bring her over to our home too without me present.
He really refused to give me any type of answer that wasn’t “it’s not like that.”
He’s stuck on divorce, he was cold about the whole situation and wouldn’t offer me any reassurance and kinda just kept telling me I shouldn’t care about it.
I did come back to the house now, but now he’s acting like he loves me and still has feelings but still wants to divorce. He says he wants to continue to be boyfriend and girlfriend even if we will no longer be living together.
My own therapist is baffled by this and says he feels like if I agree to being his gf, I’ll just be “one of many girls.”
I don’t know what to think of this besides the fact he wants access to me without commitment. His reasoning for being set on divorce is because “marriage is too much for both of us and he needs to mature.”
I just want to hear other peoples POV on this because honestly idk what to make of it. AIO for feeling confused and sketched out?