u/FunctionDistinct6550

I’m a 23-year-old man who’s never had a single best friend throughout my life. I come from a small town and I have a feminine voice and body language which have led to a lot of bullying. In school, my classmates rarely sat next to me and I mostly sat alone. Over the past few years, I’ve improved my body language and feminine gestures but I still can’t change my voice. It’s frustrating that I’ve never experienced being accepted for who I am or that anyone has bothered to be my friend. Seeing Instagram reels on friendship makes me feel even more isolated. The only reason I’m still alive is because I have wonderful parents and family who love me very much. Suggest me some tips to improve my voice/femine qualities

I don’t know why, but there’s this boy. I am pretty sure he is straight, yet for some reason I loved him so much. Sometimes I felt like I was ready to devote my whole life to him, while he didn’t even bother to truly talk to me. I always cared about him deeply, remembered the smallest things about him, and gave him importance in ways he probably never realized.

For example, on his birthday, I stayed awake just to wish him exactly at 12:00 at night because I wanted him to feel special and valued. But when my birthday came, he didn’t even bother to say hello to me. That hurt more than I can explain, because it made me realize how differently we saw each other.

I kept giving him my time, attention, care, and emotions, while he barely noticed my presence. And the saddest part is that even after all this pain, a part of me still cared about him the same way.

Sometimes I feel like such a duche and have low self-esteem. Why am I so much of a pick me-up? 😭😭😭😭😭😭**.**
Btw i an M23

Pls Help me to convert my CGPA into german grades