u/Fun_Background8705

I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months, and I'm noticing little signs lately that lead me to believe he may be a hoarder. We do not live together, and I don't intend to for a while.

His dad is a hoarder, and it's cars. They have army vehicles in their backyard, different cars, and just random shit. They live in a normal neighborhood, and probably have like 10-12 vehicles sitting in random places. The property obviously isn't well taken care of, and in the garage there are oil stains etc. I am someone who is pretty minimalist. I get rid of things I don't use, hate clutter, and would freak out if someone stained my garage with oil.

So my boyfriend starts working on a project gokart thing, and he gets it running. I asked him if he was going to sell it and if it was comfortable. He tells me it's not very comfortable because he's too tall for it. But, he's going to keep it for a while and then sell it. He had no rhyme or reason for it, and it's going to end up like his other projects where he just has it and never does anything with it. I've made it SUPER clear I'm very minimalist and down the baseboards every week, my house is cleaned and spotless. Are these signs I'm getting involved with a hoarder, potentially?

He is a really nice guy, treats me really well. But, this would be a dealbreaker for me and I'm not sure how to go about it.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4-5 months, and while I have met his parents - I have only met one of his male friends in passing.

He has two other friends - a married couple, who he spends a lot of time with. It has never bothered me or make me think twice until lately, but he's also never gone out of his way to introduce me to them or make plans for me to meet them/hang out with them. Or any of his friends really. I have invited him to social events, but a lot of my friends have started families so we don't hang out on a consistent basis.

One day he tells me that he went with the married couple to return some things from amazon at Whole foods, and that the wife was adamant that he and his friend (the one I met) come inside with them (the married couple). My boyfriend goes on to say that the returns ended up being about $300 in lingerie, and sex toys. I am thinking, okay really strange but I am going to let that go because it seems insignificant.

Then, he lets me know maybe two weeks ago that this woman's husband is out of the country currently. He texts me on a Monday night at about 10pm, and tells me he is at her house hanging out with her and the friend I met. Mind you, he travels for work so when he's here - he has lots of free time but I work a regular 9-5. I find it strange, also because I am past the age where I want to go and hang out at anyone's house but my own at 10pm at night. But again, I think his friend is there so it's really not that weird I'm just overthinking.

Then, it got really strange (or so I perceived it that way). We hung out this weekend, had a great time. He took me shopping, he spent the night and nothing felt weird. But, then on Monday during the day - he texts me that he is doing yard work at this woman's house while her husband is still out of the country. He also texts me pictures of him doing the yard work, which were honestly really weird because she took photos of him from far and while he was walking towards her making kind of a goofy face.

Do you find this dynamic to be odd?