u/Fun-Shape-4540

I’m a 29F planning to look for an arranged marriage after one year, and I genuinely need honest advice.

I was never in a relationship in my teens or early 20s, and no one ever really showed interest in me romantically. Later, when I was emotionally vulnerable and desperate for affection/attention, I got involved with a married man who offered me gifts in exchange for intimacy. I agreed not mainly because of the gifts, but because I was craving connection and validation.

After that, I was involved with around 2–3 men in total, both single and married, though it did not always involve full physical relationships.

Now I want to settle down seriously. This is not a fake post. I’m being completely honest. My confusion is whether I should disclose this part of my past to a future partner. If I tell everything openly, I fear I may lose good marriage prospects. But if I hide it, I worry that’s unfair too.

At the same time, I still feel curious about relationships and experiences, though I know I would never cheat in a committed marriage. I’m generally very polite, emotionally attached, and submissive by nature.

What would be the right thing to do?

I’ve lived in several major cities in India and have experienced food poisoning numerous times. Interestingly, I’ve never had any issues with home cooked meals, even when they were a bit stale. Meanwhile, Reddit and other forums are flooded with people sharing similar food poisoning experiences. Why does it seem like no one is concerned about this? What is FSSAI doing about it? After all, food is a basic necessity, isn’t it?

There was a man in my office from eastern UP who frequently body shamed women based on their appearance. Despite repeated warnings, he continued making derogatory comments like “gayi bhains pani me,” “matka,” and “dholak” for women who were slightly heavier. Ironically, he himself didn’t meet conventional standards of attractiveness and had a very poor accent, but he still carried a sense of entitlement.

He was part of a group of like-minded men who regularly mocked women for their weight, height, and skin color both in person and in their WhatsApp group. I never engaged with him or encouraged this behavior, yet he would often come and sit next to me and make such comments. I suspected he might have been jealous after learning about my salary.

He also had connections with senior colleagues, often joining them for tea, which seemed to make him feel more emboldened and shameless. One day, while I was talking to someone else, he made inappropriate remarks like “aao kabhi haveli pe” and suggested going to Meridian. That was the final straw for me, and I warned him that I would report him to HR.

After that, he and his group started making sarcastic comments like “we’re scared of women, they file false accusations,” which was both frustrating and offensive.

This office was a startup in South India, and ultimately I chose to leave because of the toxic environment. I don’t want to pursue legal action, but I do want to understand how to handle situations like this better especially since, despite POSH policies, many people still assume women are at fault (because some women misused the law in the past).

Edit: I forgot to include the context: he said 'gayi bhains pani me' when I mentioned that I will be going for swimming; I was a bit on the heavier side that time, and we weren’t even friends just colleagues. Also, he said 'aao kabhi haveli pe' by pointing to Meridian hotel which was close to our office.