u/FullMetal_191765

For context: we dated for 2 months and she got pregnant. We were madly in love and so I was happy to propose and move in with her. After moving in, things changed rapidly. I noticed she had a hard time listening to me when I expressed concerns about our relationship. She'd dismiss me and then I yelled a couple times (two times) after this happened again and again. She asked me to go to therapy to feel safe in the relationship and I happily did and learned coping mechanisms to where I handled my emotions better. The problem was she continued to distance herself and dismiss me if I had a concern and I just learned to deal with it more internally.

I told her I wanted to postpone the wedding two weeks before the wedding so we could learn how to deal with conflict better because I feared things would just get worse before they got better with a baby on the way. She took that as abandonment and cancelled the engagement full stop and broke up with me and kicked me out of her house.

She reached out a few days after the breakup and said she wanted to work on things, but then just listed out every single thing she ever didn't like about me and how hurt she was about the wedding. I just listened and apologized and she said she needed space and therapy.

We spent sometime together a few weeks after that and things were going well, but I tried to talk to her about an important relationship value I had (serving eachothers needs. I apologized for where I fell short) and she blew up and distanced herself again saying she needed space. 3 weeks went by and she said she didn't want to pursue a relationship, only work on coparenting.

Two weeks go by and we finished working on an agreed upon custody order. IMMEDIATELY after the custody order was completed she started being very friendly and even asked me to come over to hang out this Friday.

I just have an incredible amount of whiplash. She has changed from wanting to be a stay at home mom to wanting to work, told me she's thinking about tying her tubes, and she still has never apologized for any part of our relationship problems. She told me, "why do we need therapy? YOU are the one with problems". I still love her so incredibly much, but I'm just so confused. Is she just gonna push me away again? What even is this hang out? Does she even respect me anymore? Is she just lonely? Does loving her just mean I accept her how she is and don't try to work on hurts I have from her side?

I don't know what I'm looking for with this post, but I just want to get it off my chest I guess. I've been going to therapy and reaching out to friends to sort through things, but I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time and don't know the path forward. I wanted a family more than anything else and I'm just losing all hope.

TL/DR: my ex-fiancee wants to spend time together this Friday and I am just very confused. I believe we have an avoidant-anxious attachment relationships. I'm the anxious partner working on being more secure.