It's not even about being skinny at this point.
Hi. I've had a non-diagnosed eating disorder for around >!one year!< now. It started because I wanted to lose weight. I did lose it, but in a short amount of time. However, I then had to gain some weight to continue practicing my sport. The thing is, I didn't gain all the weight back. I just gained muscle. I barely have any body fat (no period for >!7 months now!<).
I'm not in the best time of my life now. That made me want to starve myself again. But the thing is, I know I'm thin. When I see photos of my sickest it wants to make me recover. But now I just starve as a way of... Coping with things, I guess?
It's confusing. Does someone feel the same way?