How do I 54F make my son, 41M forgive me for not being in his life against my will?
I had him at a very young age against my will as I was forced into that kind of Work . I succeeded in running away when I was in my late 20s. I was asked by a local newspaper to tell my story so I did and I said about my pregnancy and all that followed. I told that woman that I had a son and when I found out I am pregnant I wanted to end it all. I meant my life. I said I would have rather had a cancer growing inside of me than this. But I also said that when I had him I fell in love with my baby and tried my best to take care of him and how I never stopped loving him and wondering what happened to him after my mother and the father of my baby (who was my 40 years old p..mp) handed him over to an institution against my will. He was 11 months old and for them my baby was an inconvenience because they wanted me to "see" 5, 6 "clients" a day. After they took him from me I had 3 attempts to... end it
Its been years since this interview, those who hurt me are all in jall. I didn't know if my son is still alive, if he is well, if he was given up for adoption. I found him 2 years ago with the help of a lady from an NGO. He became the financial director of one of the biggest employers in our country. he is married, has children, a nice house. for the first time I saw a picture of him on his linkedin profile and a few others also there. Tall, in a tie and white shirt, handsome and he has my blue eyes. He gave a couple interviews himself (professional one to financial sites but I read them all to see what kind of man he is and it is obvious he is extraordinary intelligent although I feel a bit arrogant)
from then on it was easy to contact him but the wanted nothing to do with me anymore. he talked to me through his car window. he read the interview.
He has so much hatred for me. And when he finally agreed to meet I had the feeling he wanted to show me how inferior I am compared to him. He drives an expensive car and looked down on me the whole time. I am a cleaning lady, he has a teenage daughter, a wife, in laws. I know someone like me doesn't belong there
I wanted him to give me a chance. I wanted to know if he was adopted and he said he wasn't. Instead he was absed in every possible way as a young child and all because of me and He was literally crying out for me and I wasn't there. And then his voice trembled and looked away and he told me that I can live my life cancer free. he said he would be happy if i died. afterwards he sent me a text apologising and admitted it was way too cruel to say that and he didn't mean it, and offered me money. I don't want his money