I (32F) have had a very tumultuous relationship with my sister (35F) for as long as I can remember. We were the typical siblings that always fought but became closer as we got older. We were raised by a single mother who was an alcoholic with an undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. I only say this to explain how much we depended on each other when my mom was absent. As we got into our teen years my sister started to abuse drugs and alcohol. We grew apart as the drugs took over her life, then reconnected 4 years later. She was sober and back to the sister I knew and missed so much. Unfortunately, this is would continue to happen on and off throughout her 20’s. There were times we were no contact due to her stealing and lying but I was always happy to have her back in my life. My mom’s health has been deteriorating very rapidly over the last year. She is now in the late stages of dementia that requires 24/7 care. At the time my mom was diagnosed with dementia, she was living with my sister. I was always under the impression that everyone was happy and healthy when I would visit. I didn’t even know about her diagnosis until it was too late. I received a panicked call from my sister stating my mom fell and is being rushed to the hospital. I needed to go now and she would meet me there in an hour. When I got to the hospital, I was told my sister abandoned my mom and that there are signs of neglect. She was covered in urine and looked like she hadn’t showered in a month. My sister disappeared and refused to answer or return the hundreds of texts and calls from me. My mom stayed with my husband and I until we found a nursing home that specializes in dementia patients. When I thought the worst was over, I was hit with another blow. A detective contacted me in regard to my mom’s retirement fund. Not only did my sister neglect my mom, she also financially abused her. She has nothing. The detective said he cannot pursue charges due to my sister refusing to be interviewed, and my mom not having any memory of anyone taking her money. I know the logical thing to do would be to go no contact again, but there is this nagging part of me that wonders if I’m doing the right thing. My sister and I haven’t spoken since the incident at the hospital. Two days ago, she texted me asking to talk. I’ve been doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out if I should respond or let it rest. She has caused so much pain but she is also human and my family. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
u/Forward_Lettuce9391
I (32F) have had a very tumultuous relationship with my sister (35F) for as long as I can remember. We were the typical siblings that always fought but became closer as we got older. We were raised by a single mother who was an alcoholic with an undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. I only say this to explain how much we depended on each other when my mom was absent. As we got into our teen years my sister started to abuse drugs and alcohol. We grew apart as the drugs took over her life, then reconnected 4 years later. She was sober and back to the sister I knew and missed so much. Unfortunately, this is would continue to happen on and off throughout her 20’s. There were times we were no contact due to her stealing and lying but I was always happy to have her back in my life. My mom’s health has been deteriorating very rapidly over the last year. She is now in the late stages of dementia that requires 24/7 care. At the time my mom was diagnosed with dementia, she was living with my sister. I was always under the impression that everyone was happy and healthy when I would visit. I didn’t even know about her diagnosis until it was too late. I received a panicked call from my sister stating my mom fell and is being rushed to the hospital. I needed to go now and she would meet me there in an hour. When I got to the hospital, I was told my sister abandoned my mom and that there are signs of neglect. She was covered in urine and looked like she hadn’t showered in a month. My sister disappeared and refused to answer or return the hundreds of texts and calls from me. My mom stayed with my husband and I until we found a nursing home that specializes in dementia patients. When I thought the worst was over, I was hit with another blow. A detective contacted me in regard to my mom’s retirement fund. Not only did my sister neglect my mom, she also financially abused her. She has nothing. The detective said he cannot pursue charges due to my sister refusing to be interviewed, and my mom not having any memory of anyone taking her money. I know the logical thing to do would be to go no contact again, but there is this nagging part of me that wonders if I’m doing the right thing. My sister and I haven’t spoken since the incident at the hospital. Two days ago, she texted me asking to talk. I’ve been doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out if I should respond or let it rest. She has caused so much pain but she is also human and my family. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!