u/ForwardBreadfruit922

Please, Ya Allah, protect this post from narcissistic, nonchalant men and anyone who is going to be a trial for me rather than a blessing 🌸

Height & Weight: around 5’4 and 40 kg.

Physical appearance: fair skin, eye color is a bit hazel. Brunette hair. Petite build.

Location: lahore

Accommodation: Rented. My parents own a residence elsewhere.

Education: Bachelor’s. Accepted for masters in California, Arizona, Missouri, and Arkansas but idk if I want to leave my parents behind and can’t decide between the states either. Unsure about future education plans.

Income Source: currently working at my first job after graduation at a European firm.

Marital Status: Single- no past relationships/ guy friends.

Religion: Really inspired by Shia Islam (Jafari sect). But I respect/follow Sunni-ism too. That makes me a su-shi 🍣 lol. I’m modest, hijabi, lower my gaze always. I try to pray regularly. I’m really inspired by imam khamenei and Muhammad Hoblos.

Family Details
• dad (retired)- worked in commercial navy department at a firm as a deputy manager.
• Mom- housewife

Hobbies and interests: horror/thriller movies, doomscrolling. Nail art. I’m mostly a shy, homebody. I pin a lot quotes about Islam on Pinterest.

Personality: I’m very sensitive and empathetic. I care a lot. I sometimes lose my cool because of empathetic burnout. But I always apologise and try to mend the bond. I don’t have any ego issues.

Do you want children? Yes

Requirements for a Partner

• Someone like Imam Khamenei. He was the kindest man ever. I don’t care if he’s way older than me. He said women are flowers and should be treated as such. Literal soft lover boy energy. That’s the vibe I dig. 🥹
• Provider and protector mindset
• Sensitive, Kind hearted and forgiving. Soft spoken.
• Someone who is missing his rib (me).
• Love for Allah, Prophet (peace be upon him) and Ahlul Bayt.

Deal breakers:
• someone who is too nit picky, inflexible.
• Unwilling to talk to my parents himself.
• Not serious about marriage or wants a longer timeframe. Casual rishta browsers in general.
• Expects me contribute to household expenses. Sorry lol.

Preferred family setup: joint or nuclear. I’m fine either ways.

Timeframe for Marriage: A few months hopefully🤞

Lastly, I just want to get married to a man with the above mentioned qualities and stay married to him for life. It really is that simple. I don’t want to complicate things going back and forth, trying to decode personalities/family backgrounds for months. I’d really appreciate if this na-mehram interaction doesn’t last for long as it is pure torture for Muslimahs trying to be on deen.

I don’t feel comfortable sharing more details in public. Please DM if my profile aligns and you’re serious things could work . 🧚🏻‍♀️

Please upvote so my post reaches my soft lover boy 🧚🏻✨

All I want to say that I’ve come across people who have literal pfps or quotes from Allah in their social media bios treat me in the worst way possible because of my few mistakes for which I begged them for forgiveness day and night even though it was a genuine humanly mistake.

And somehow, they walked away giving me verdicts that I’m hell bound. They quoted ahadiths in my face about how Allah forgives his own rights but does not forgive the rights of his people. Allah will never forgive me. They claimed to be best friends with Allah yet told me that I’m undeserving of His love.

Yet all this time, I did everything behind their back for their goodness. I gave charity in their name so that Allah may ease their problems. I prayed for them with tears and a shaking voice. Yet they made me feel like I’m the worst person alive and that Allah will not forgive just because we had an argument.

All my life, I’ve missed Allah so much. Never did any haram. Never even looked at a man ever. Yet somehow, I’m worse than Yazeed and Abu jahl because I confronted them about their bad behavior and lost my cool.

I’m not a fool. I do realise these narcissistic patterns and thinking that you’re good with God and the other people are not. But because of people like these, the number of ex-Muslims are rising. This religious superiority and misrepresenting the message of Islam has made people believe that Allah is like your abuser Nauzubillah and that he is on their side, not your own.

Ive literally had these thoughts of leaving Islam. I’ve been struggling to pray ever since. Because if Allah already hates me then what’s the point? He’ll throw me in hell because of an argument.

Wallahi, May Allah never make me commit any sin of arrogance in religiosity. Because religious superiority not only ruins your own life but also whoever comes in contact with you. If I ever wrong someone intentionally or unintentionally, may Allah grant me the humility to put my head in their literal feet and apologise and mend the bond instead of pretending to be indifferent.

And if someone ever wrongs me, may I always forgive and forget and never mock or belittle them for their mistakes.

F | 25 | Lahore - Looking for my soft-hearted King 🩵🧚🏻