u/FormerChapter1337

I don’t know what to do, and I feel so disgusted with myself. I don’t need advice, I just need to tell someone about this. In my dreams my cousin is there at a party at my house with his girlfriend, the whole family is there and we are all drinking and stuff, but I keep dreaming me, my cousin and his girlfriend going into the front room and openly talking about sleeping with each other. Or I think sometimes masturbating in front of them? I don’t know. One of the first dreams I had, I was outside and me and my cousin actually had sex. Like what the fuck is wrong with me. I am NOT attracted to my cousin in anyway like that, I love him because he’s my family, and I have never felt or feel any attraction to him whatsoever. So why do I keep having dreams about this? Can someone please explain?

I haven’t been on chai for a while because I was too scared to check if my chats were there. I checked today and genuinely cried because they are still not back. Like what are they doing?????? Are we even getting our chats backs or was it just a massive lie??????

A couple of days ago I bought a dildo and it came today. It was from Amazon from some random company. I got it out of the packaging today and as soon as I did the smell was horrific. Like literally smelt like pure chemicals. So I washed it, but it still smelt. I shrugged it off and tested it out anyway. I came upstairs and was using it for a while but I couldn’t get over the smell, I started searching on google asking what to do after I use a dildo with a weird smell, it said to wash yourself with soap and water thoroughly. I went to the bathroom and washed myself but now I’m still scared I’m gonna get an infection. After I did that, I washed the dildo thoroughly with soap and water but it still smelt after. Should I go too the doctors just in case or should I just leave it? Should I buy a new dildo or will it be fine since it’s been washed twice?