u/FollowingFabulous875

Every time we let our little front it kinda hurts us... Its mainly because we had to hide her sooo much we dont know how to let her out when she needs (so she kinda a lot cries in innerworld - Terra) , but recently she has been out so so much that its kinda taking a toll on doing our everyday routines, we dont want to keep her in innerworld anymore but the adults have to be adults lol... Not to mention that our host is currently gone. - Javia and OS

Uggg this is frustrating my heart, I feel like a terrible headmate 😫 -Terra

So yesterday we were kinda taken from the comfort of our home and wasnt able to get back untill late... Long story short my little wanted to be out yeaterday but never got a chance, but today she might not be able to get out much either... Were sorry (˚ **˃̣̣**̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

Hopefully we can let her cofront so she can not be sad today. - Terra and OS

Recently the system has been going through a lot of things But now we feel different, like something changed way too much... Anyway ive been fronting a lot more now and dont really know if I became a new version of the old host or if The host is just dormat atm - Terra and Rachel

Dont want to forget that we did recently lose a headmate that wasnt the host but they were kinda like brothers - OS

We just want to know what happened as we are kinda new to fronting this much 😅 - Rachel and OS

Edit: Sorry we all kinda chipped im for this message (Rachel is the most concerned-OS) -Terra and Rachel

Edit 2: we have to go outside in a bit but its scary out there - OS and Rachel

So a while back maybe a year or 2 ago i went to see my therapist and they pressented the possibility of DID but i denied it,so they kinda put me though a test and they pressented BPD but i dont feel like I have BPD i dont think,especially when i dissosiate a lot when under certaint pressures and space without knowing ive been gone some times.

Idk what DID fully feels like i dont think but this is what is going on with me.

It seems that whenever a certaint thing happens IDK what but something a switch is flipped and i have to either become a new peroson or ive takin characteristics of an entierly different person, its only been recent that ive kinda been mentally trying to keep track but thats exsausting emotionally and physically, to top it off i completely got rid of my therapy for no reason (my fualt) and my dissosiations have gotten way worse.

Please help me figure this out. I get i should seek better help but i just want to make sure im not just insane

Idk if this is real, but it also feels like my internal has shifed completely. and yes I did recently come out as transfem, but i dont think that has much to do about it.

Idk whats been going on with me for years, now Idk if its OSDD or DID, but i want to say its OSDD, soon im planning on getting a new therapist (pushed mines away a while back for reasons i have no clue) but now i think its time i take my mental health serious.

I cant remember a lot of my childhood and often forget important moments in my life,untill their either brought up through outside sources or a trigger, i often dissosiate a lot but never fully researched what any of that ment.

I mean i have but its fuzzy to my memory and never wanted to accept that I may actually have something so serious and possibly completely ignored it.