(16f)
i personally am not scared of death at all, infact i think i would welcome it and fantasize about it frequently, but yk. I do really hate the thought of anyone, whether a person or an animal, dying around me. i’ve always been the kinda person to just randomly cry because i thought about someone perfectly healthy dying one day.
lately i feel like i’m literally surrounded by death, sickness and people dying. my teacher has breast cancer and it isn’t looking good, my classmate’s mom just died today after being sick for a long time, my friend had to get tested for breast cancer, friend’s pets are dying, etc.
i’m not doing good mentally right now anyway and it is genuinely fucking with my head so so bad.
now the connection of why i’m even posting this in this subreddit: i wish i believed in god and heaven. truly. i think it would give me so much hope maybe having faith in these souls being happy in heaven or maybe having a chance at meeting them again someday. but i don’t. i tried but i just can’t believe.
i dunno, this is just a rant :) i feel like you guys are always nice so i wanted to yap about this a bit