u/Flowery_misery

Gods I just want to tell you off. There are many words that I should have said, wished I would have said before cutting you out of my life. Anger. A part of grief.

To you, who preached emotional intelligence, who admired my ability to talk through issues and own up to mistakes. To you, when the very thing you admired me for suddenly turned into an issue.

To the person who valued open communication, then used it as a weapon. To you, who suddenly picked at every little thing and turned it into incompatibility. Who made me question everything, to the point I walked on a fraying tightrope destined to snap. To the boundaries that were never clear but somehow always crossed. To the person who will never know just how much I sacrificed some days.

To the hypocrite who said they wouldn't let other people influence them, then let your ex weasel back in. To the signs you showed me, you were always looking for a reason to go back. The tone changes. The personality shift... You said you were free, complained about the manipulative hold they had on you, but really you are still a well-trained lap dog at heart. The collar still fit.

To the biggest Hypocrite I know, I hope you one day look in the mirror and realize what you are. The pain you have caused. Not just me, but for others as well. I was truly nothing more than a rebound for your pathetic self. A tool to use for your own benefit. You could have at least had the decency to be honest. But that would mean facing what you've done, and gods, you'd never do such horrible things right? I see now some of the things you said your ex did, well that was some projecting wasn't it?

Honestly, you two deserve each other. Both toxic and in denial. I hope karma serves you well, and one day you are forced to own up to your hypocrisy. Learn to practice what you preach. Until then, enjoy being a secret again, seems like you get off on servitude rather than equalivalency. To each their own...

A message that will never be sent. Nor addressed. Just me venting into the abyss of the internet.

Goes unanswered. It is incredibly frustrating. Never understanding why after months of love and care they suddenly don't want anything to do with you. They run, they hide, and leave a lack of closure. It's cruel, after everything I gave, swallowing my own feelings to help them feel better, I made so many sacrifices but never once mentioned them. For I chose to make them and would never use that against someone. I stayed consistent, was honest like they asked me to be then suddenly that was an issue to.

I loved them fully, and now I don't even get closure.

I have never felt so devalued in my time. I feel betrayed. Lied to. Truly one of the worst breakups I've experienced. At least previous exes had the decency to end on clear terms.

I've moved on, I feel much happier now, healthier, but a part of me still holds this resentment. I suppose grief has a funny way of sneaking back up on you even when you think it's passed...