Should I try to reconect of let go completely?
I’m a 24 y.o. male and wanted some outside perspective on a situation with another guy my age.
About 2 months ago, I cut contact with someone I had been seeing weekly. We met on Hinge and immediately had amazing conversations. On the first date it really felt like we were on the same page. He told me he wanted to take things slow, and I was actually okay with that because I came from a very fast-paced dating history that left me unhappy. We agreed to go “friends first” and see where things went naturally.
At the end of the second date, I asked to kiss him. He hesitated and gave some excuse at first, but after thinking for a moment he kissed me anyway. Then on the third date he introduced me to some of his girl friends, showed me around bars, and this time he initiated the kiss.
After that, we spent Carnival together and kissed a lot while dancing. Honestly it felt really special to me because I’ve never had a boyfriend or even gotten past a few dates with someone before. We also spent Valentine’s together in a very low-key way - walking around another city, talking in the car, kissing, a simple dinner, etc.
Even though we said “friends first,” the level of intimacy made me believe this was naturally evolving into something more serious. I basically fell in love for the first time.
But all of this happened within maybe 1–2 months. Between dates, his texting style was very distant. Sometimes he’d leave me on delivered for 3 days. I didn’t expect constant conversation, just small updates or signs of interest since we both work. In person he felt affectionate and emotionally present, but over text he felt avoidant. Looking back, maybe that was already his way of showing he only saw this as friendship, but I think I ignored it because the chemistry in person felt so real.
Eventually we met to talk about things more clearly. He told me he didn’t feel romantically in love with me (but felt atracted physically) and that for him this was more on the “friends” side. I accepted it, and at the end I didn’t even try to kiss him because I thought the message was clear… but then he initiated a kiss again, which honestly gave me hope all over again.
After that, I tried making plans for the following weekends. First he was busy, then when I suggested another date he left me on delivered for a whole week. I couldn’t really handle the inconsistency anymore, so I messaged him saying I thought it would be better to stop talking for a while. He agreed and admitted he simply didn’t feel the need to keep meeting up.
Now I’m conflicted.
Part of me knows there are other people out there. But another part of me thinks that real connection is rare, and maybe what I felt with him isn’t something easy to replace. At the same time, I wonder if what I interpreted as a deep connection was actually just emotional + physical intimacy mixed together.
Lately I’ve been thinking about reaching out again, maybe with stricter boundaries like: no kissing if he’s unsure about wanting something deeper. But I genuinely can’t tell if I’m actually okay with “just friends,” or if I’m secretly hoping he changes his mind eventually. And if that’s the case, maybe I’m just setting myself up to get hurt again instead of moving on.
Another thing confusing me is that objectively this was such a short thing. We only saw each other once a week for 1–2 months. It feels dramatic sometimes that it affected me this much. These thoughts don’t consume my life or stop me from functioning, but they’ve stayed in my head long enough that I feel like I should decide whether to let this go completely or reconnect.
Would love some honest opinions or similar experiences from people who’ve gone through this.