u/FlakyAssistant7681

Hi all, I am 27 F and I have been quite active in this sub. I have asked a lot of my questions and concerns around AM process. I have one basic question though - ideally, what should an AM process look like? I am asking this as I have recently started getting a few matches.

Earlier, I would have a short chat on WhatsApp and then a phone call. But while doing this, I would also realise that I haven't seen many photos of the guy, or I would spend a lot of time talking to them on phone and feel like the vibes are not matching. It felt like a waste of my time.

Should I first chat for a few days, ask all the basic questions and then, if I feel comfortable, move to a phone call? Or should I speak on the phone first? Should I evaluate multiple matches at the same time before moving ahead?

Mods - Please let me know if this is low efforts post, I'll remove it.

I googled but couldn't find anything helpful and hence I am posting it here.

As the title says, I am looking for a short getaway in and around Mangalore, preferably a resort outing, something like Summer Sands where you don't have to book the room but can spend a day with some little entry fees etc. Preferably one which has good view or is at beachside. Please share your recommendations.

I'm in the very initial stages. I was approached by a family and not yet started speaking to the guy or getting to know him yet but they live in a different city and state. For some reason, I feel like I should keep the search on, atleast for a few months until mine and his families have met in-person. I have heard of situations where after spending some time talking on phone, one of the parties backs out and there is a need to start the search again. So I am only coming from place of spending the time and not wanting to get worried at the last minute if it doesn't work out in between

Is it ethically okay to keep the search going if it is just the initial stages?

I stay in one state and I recently got a match from another state. Although it is not that far, the only travel possible is by air. Has anybody been in such a situation before? How did you plan the meetings, either with family, or just the two of you? How expensive has it been? Has it worked out or not?

I have seen a lot of people moving out of Mangalore and then coming back. But I am curious to know if anybody who is not from here has moved to Mangalore and how it has been. What do you do for work?

There has been a buzz about turning Mangalore into an IT hub and a lot of talks around it. Do you think it is a good idea?

My question is particularly to those who went from not having any matches, responses to having them now. What have you learnt from your experiences so far. Are there any strategies you are implementing? I have been finding it extremely overwhelming to manage my profiles on multiple platforms and have not even taken a membership. From the few things that I learnt, I kept tweaking and adding more context in my biodata about preferences. I used to get a lot of calls earlier, but now I hardly get anything and I wonder if I have put too many things. But those are my non-negotiable.

I would really love some suggestions, advice or strategies to make the AM process work out for me. Tell me platforms that have worked for you, bio data hacks, or anything else.

Hi,

I posted here earlier about my unsuccessful experience in AM. However, I am now writing about a dilemma that I have found myself in.

I have a decent job and work from home. However, lately, I feel it might not be the right career for me, and the company is undergoing financial issues and it's been looking hectic at the senior level. I stay in my hometown, which is not a metro city, and has very low job opportunities. Even though I work from home, I would want to settle in a metro city (preferably Mumbai or Pune etc) so that I could have better career prospects if I ever lose my job and don't get the option to work from home. Having said that, is that a risky move, because my office has a branch in Mumbai and even then, if I do move there, I might not get a place closer to where my office is and I know how hectic and expensive Mumbai also is. There are no good alliances that I have got in my hometown, but it would not be my first choice. I am honestly stuck between career and AM location preferences and have been rejecting profiles because of this reason. Am I overthinking? How should I think this through?

I am currently living with my mother and my older sibling and lately I have been struggling with the atmosphere at home because of him. He is extremely negative and is constantly worrying about his job, finances and worst case scenarios. He gets irritated very easily, often snaps at my mom, and overall seems very stressed and frustrated.

We are not very close anymore. There was a time when I was going through a tough phase and he was not supportive. He simply told me to “adjust.” That was when I grew distant from him. Now I see him dealing with similar stress and anxiety. He is very pessimistic.

Ever since I moved back home to live with them, I have been feeling the impact of that negativity much more. Even normal conversations about the future turn into statements like “what is the guarantee there is a future,” which really brings down the mood. I have started limiting my interactions with him because he seems very sensitive and easily triggered.

I am not happy being in this situation, but moving out is not financially feasible for me right now. I work remotely and earn just enough to manage my expenses. I have lived independently before and I really miss the peace and privacy I had then.

I also see how emotionally draining it is on my mother because she is ageing, yet she does all his cooking and cleaning. She is also equally tired of listening to him speaking the same negative stuff everyday but unlike me, she responds and reacts. I have tried to stay quiet.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you cope with living in a consistently negative environment when leaving is not an option right now?