u/FlakFlanker3

One of the earliest memories I have is my N-mom telling me about a movie called Sophie's Choice where a mother with two children has to choose one of her children to die and the other to survive. She was telling ~9 year old me and my younger sister about this movie for some reason and told me how she would choose to save my sister and for me to die. There was no reason at all for her to tell us about the movie just out of nowhere and much less to tell child me that she would choose for me to die.

Another time she randomly young me that she sometimes fantasizes about how much better her life would have been if she had aborted me and how she would have been super successful if I hadn't been born.