u/Fit_Extreme_9372

I’m 19F and I met this guy (19M) online through a fandom in late 2023. We became close in early 2024 just sending reels, talking about random stuff, and bonding over our interests. When we finally met IRL at a theme park, it felt amazing and I felt really safe and comfortable around him. I have autism and have been homeschooled since I was 11. So I have been on my own since, and I pretty much missed out on any possible teenage experiences.

Over time our friendship got really confusing. There was constant flirting but always played off as jokes, so I never knew where we stood. He’d get in my face “pretending to be a scare actor,” twerked in my face once while we were walking up stairs, and made comments that definitely crossed friend territory. He even sent a meme basically saying we had sexual tension. I caught feelings and he made it seem like dating was possible without ever being clear….

In April of last year, I pecked him on the cheek without asking because I honestly thought the feelings were mutual (my friends thought so too). He blocked me immediately. Begged him to forgive me and he eventually did…After unblocking me, he was cold, told me to shut the fuck up when I tried to be silly with him like how I used to be able to do…a few days later I offered to him that he would talk things out and maybe things won’t be so tense. He refused to talk things through, and blocked me again. He told my friend I was a “sex pest,” and I lost online friends I knew for over 6 years because of it. It was depressing and happened right before my graduation. I cried in the Macys bathroom while shopping for my grad pictures.

2 Months later he broke no contact at 3am while high, later he apologized, and said I didn’t deserve all the pain he caused. I let him back in because I missed him and he was my only IRL friend. About a week later He then told me he’d probably date me if I “got my shit together,” which gave me hope again.

After that, he started saying really fucked up stuff that i shouldn’t have let slide. He told me he had a hold on me, called me his “slave” (I’m Black and he’s white), and said I was his “bitch” and “at his fingertips.” I didn’t call it out at the time because I didn’t want to lose him again.

In Sept My mom made me cut contact after he invited me to his house but didn’t tell me his reasoning for wanting me to come over.. in November, he reached out again saying without saying it that he missed me and that going to the theme park alone wasn’t fun. We talked again, but in Dec he slowly became distant, left me on read constantly, and would only reply “no” to anything emotional or just when I’d try to engage with him in general (asked him if he wanted to see my Minecraft house since thats what game he’s into and he replied “no”

On New Year’s Eve he posted that he was going to the theme park we’d hang at. I tried to reach out and he ignored me. He left me on seen all day…even when i texted him “happy new years” he left me on read…5 days later, he blocked me everywhere out the blue and I found out he was talking to someone else. Then he tweeted about not knowing why he “gave his abusers grace” and grouped me with someone who actually SA’d him, even though the only thing that ever happened between us was that cheek kiss, which we had already discussed and moved past.

Then right before Valentine’s Day…he unblocks me again and starts trying to get my attention. Commenting “hey,” DMing me, even saying he wanted an art commission just to get me to respond. When I finally replied and asked what he wanted, he basically hinted at wanting a relationship…but then went silent AGAIN after I tried to clarify.

Apparently he had a manic episode and was hospitalized for a bit? which scared me, because I thought he had committed yk..because he’s talked about it in the past. When I messaged him “hope you’re okay” he left it on read…but even after he got out, he didn’t follow up properly. I had to be the one to reach out again. When we did talk, it went right back to the same pattern: dry responses, ignoring messages, no effort. Everytime I tried to put in forth effort to meet up with him at a theme park we both go to, he always shoots me down…mind you, he knows how much I’ve missed him (I haven’t hung out with him in person since April of last year)…but it seems that he doesn’t care… :( and it’s not about him being “too busy”, he’s gone to said park multiple times and has not once been like “hey, you here/coming?”. It’s been nothing but no ever since last December. Mind you he said in November he would be down to meeting up…

I didn’t know what to do at this point, my mental health has been in shambles because of him …and so I sent a final message (attached above), and then I blocked him immediately after.

So, just to keep things short, I (19f) had this ex-friend/situationship(?) (19m) that I wasn’t supposed to be in contact with anymore, my mom saw him as a red flag before I did. And so she forbid us from taking…but back in November he reached out to me again saying he missed hanging out. We started talking again, and I was genuinely happy…I even made a private account on instagram just so we could stay in touch more.

But then in December, he randomly got super distant. He’d leave me on read, give one-word replies like “no“ like all the freaking time…and refuse to talk about anything real. Dudeman didn’t even wish me a happy birthday.

Then on New Year’s Eve, he posted that he was going to a theme park we both go to. I tried to ask when he’d be there…and bro ignored me the whole fucking day. Tried joking around, asked if he got kidnapped or something. he said no…so I ask why hasnt he been responding…andddd I get ignored again.. Then a few days later I found out he was talking to someone else, and shortly after that, he blocked me everywhere. On top of that, he tweeted about “giving his abusers grace” and kind of grouped me into that even though all I did was kiss him on the cheek MONTHS ago, which really hurt because we had already talked through our past issues. i am deadass in line for a ride trying not to cry.

Then right before Valentine’s Day…he unblocks me again and starts trying to get my attention. Commenting “hey,” DMing me, even saying he wanted an art commission just to get me to respond. When I finally replied and asked what he wanted, he basically hinted at wanting a relationship…but then went silent AGAIN after I tried to clarify.

Apparently he had a manic episode and was hospitalized for a bit? which scared me, because I thought he had committed yk..because he’s talked about it in the past. When I messaged him “hope you’re okay” he left it on read…but even after he got out, he didn’t follow up properly. I had to be the one to reach out again. When we did talk, it went right back to the same pattern: dry responses, ignoring messages, no effort. Everytime I tried to put in forth effort to meet up with him at a theme park we both go to, he always shoots me down…mind you, he knows how much I’ve missed him (I haven’t hung out with him in person since April of last year)…but it seems that he doesn’t care… :( and it’s not about him being “too busy”, he’s gone to said park multiple times and has not once been like “hey, you here/coming?”. It’s been nothing but no ever since last December. Mind you he said in November he would be down to meeting up…

A few weeks ago I finally set a small boundary (just asking him not to keep shutting me down with constant “no” responses), and he left me on read. A week went by of being ignored again. But I tried not to overreact/feel hurt…tried to give this dude a chance..

At this point, I’m irritated as fuck. I want to ask him so badly why he keeps coming back just to disappear again when I’m actually trying, but I don’t know if it’s even worth it.

Would you confront, or just walk away at this point? I want to hit the block button so badly. But for some reason I just…can’t. I don’t have anybody else…no irl friends, no online friends, it’s just me, myself, and I.