u/Fit_Communication188

Tl;dr It's been almost a year since my breakup i 21 M have a friend 21M who's also my class mate it started as me being a person who cared about her not from a relationship pov Once in the beginning she closed my eyes from behind and the moment i saw her i thought "i wish we had met sooner" (we both had a partner at that time) but i was loyal to my partner,

after breakup she also went through a breakup 2 months after. We started to hit it off a bit but didn't talked about it we both come from a different community let's just say it didn't mattered in short term in long term it started to matter to me especially after my breakup in which my partner at that time also belonged to different community but i wanted to marry her and she ended up cheating honestly i did her wrong in many ways than what she did to me i didn't cheat but it was something that i still am regretful towards.

Anyways i thought it would not be sustainable in long term so even though tere were obvious signs she was interested in me but because of the past and future commitments i unconditionally started to joke a bit on the things she mentioned about herself which is truely worse i know, First i didn't wanted to loose our friendship that's why I didn't asked her out, then when she showed interest i backed away because of community issue in long term,

i keep telling myself it's better for her she has a goal in life unlike me, and other part being myself i guess I'm scared because of my past and since that's the unconditional reason of me jokeing about her, i think she saw it and not i don't think we aren't even friends nor in a relationship, i lost my respect in her eyes and also the chance of us getting together, i keep telling myself that it's for the better but deep inside i know I'm getting hurt,

I like her presence but I'm afraid of loosing that presence in a way that is the boundary that i made that i like her i want to be closer to her but don't want a relationship with her..

For those who find this story relatable my advice is talk before it's too late.

And for those who have been through this : What to do in this situation ?

It's been almost a year since my breakup i 21 M have a female friend who's also my class mate it started as me being a person who cared about her not from a relationship pov Once in the beginning she closed my eyes from behind and the moment i saw her i thought "i wish we had met sooner" (we both had a partner at that time) but i was loyal to my partner, after breakup she also went through a breakup 2 months after. We started to hit it off a bit but didn't talked about it we both come from a different community let's just say it didn't mattered in short term in long term it started to matter to me especially after my breakup in which my partner at that time also belonged to different community but i wanted to marry her and she ended up cheating honestly i did her wrong in many ways than what she did to me i didn't cheat but it was something that i still am regretful towards. Anyways i thought it would not be sustainable in long term so even though tere were obvious signs she was interested in me but because of the past and future commitments i unconditionally started to joke a bit on the things she mentioned about herself which is truely worse i know, First i didn't wanted to loose our friendship that's why I didn't asked her out, then when she showed interest i backed away because of community issue in long term, i keep telling myself it's better for her she has a goal in life unlike me, and other part being myself i guess I'm scared because of my past and since that's the unconditional reason of me jokeing about her, i think she saw it and not i don't think we aren't even friends nor in a relationship, i lost my respect in her eyes and also the chance of us getting together, i keep telling myself that it's for the better but deep inside i know I'm getting hurt,

I like her presence but I'm afraid of loosing that presence in a way that is the boundary that i made that i like her i want to be closer to her but don't want a relationship with her..

For those who find this story relatable my advice is talk before it's too late.

And for those who have been through this :

My question is how did it went for you ? what did you do afterwards ? What should i do ?

And Is this maturity or stupidity..? And

Was this maturity or stupidity or just pure cowardly..?

It's been almost a year since my breakup i 21 M have a female friend who's also my class mate it started as me being a person who cared about her not from a relationship pov Once in the beginning she closed my eyes from behind and the moment i saw her i thought "i wish we had met sooner" (we both had a partner at that time) but i was loyal to my partner, after breakup she also went through a breakup 2 months after. We started to hit it off a bit but didn't talked about it we both come from a different community let's just say it didn't mattered in short term in long term it started to matter to me especially after my breakup in which my partner at that time also belonged to different community but i wanted to marry her and she ended up cheating honestly i did her wrong in many ways than what she did to me i didn't cheat but it was something that i still am regretful towards. Anyways i thought it would not be sustainable in long term so even though tere were obvious signs she was interested in me but because of the past and future commitments i unconditionally started to joke a bit on the things she mentioned about herself which is truely worse i know, First i didn't wanted to loose our friendship that's why I didn't asked her out, then when she showed interest i backed away because of community issue in long term, i keep telling myself it's better for her she has a goal in life unlike me, and other part being myself i guess I'm scared because of my past and since that's the unconditional reason of me jokeing about her, i think she saw it and not i don't think we aren't even friends nor in a relationship, i lost my respect in her eyes and also the chance of us getting together, i keep telling myself that it's for the better but deep inside i know I'm getting hurt,

I like her presence but I'm afraid of loosing that presence in a way that is the boundary that i made that i like her i want to be closer to her but don't want a relationship with her..

For those who find this story relatable my advice is talk before it's too late.

And for those who have been through this :

My question is how did it went for you ? what did you do afterwards ? What should i do ?

And Is this maturity or stupidity..? And

Was this maturity or stupidity or just pure cowardly..?