u/FirmHelp2680

The relationship was 10 years. Me (M30) and her (F29). One night, 4 months ago, she just vanished. Never heard from her until last night. I tried numerous ways of contacting her in which nothing worked. Text, Email, WhatsApp and so on. Nothing worked. I would just get blocked immediately. Although 4 months later, I still felt like shit. How do you just disappear on someone who you were with 10 years. Someone who loved you and provided you so much to make you happy.

Anyway, I was out of town for work. I was on the phone with my best friend, who btw has been super supportive to me in this situation, I can’t thank him enough. I brought it up to him again. I said, how can someone do that? I didn’t deserve that. He suggested since im out of town, that I get a uber and go to a bar in which I listened. I hung up with him, ordered an uber and immediately began writing an email to her again in which i told myself will be the last one. I asked her how she could do that to someone. I told her i didn’t know that individual, that wasn’t her. I told her she never gave me any closure. I sent the email just before the uber pulled up.

At this point, im at the bar, drinking and having some nice conversations with the people around me. My phone vibrates, its a notification. It was her. I damn near fell off the bar stool. It felt like the world stopped. Her name?, on my phone? Its been months. I couldn’t believe it. I think i stared at my phone for 5 min before opening the email.

In the email, she basically gave me some reasons she was unhappy, told me shes not interested in trying again, told me she didn’t wanna leave the way she did but felt that it was the only option. She told me she hoped this email helped me for closure, wished me well and asked me not to contact her anymore. I read the damn email at least 15 times. Although not what I wanted to hear, It was nice knowing she finally reached out. I got my closure I suppose.

Ofc after reading it, my mind started wandering. Why the change in heart? Why now after 4 months? Was this for her or for me? Does a part of her still care? Although I was told not to reach out anymore, I emailed her back hours later, I thanked her for finally reaching out, told her how I still cared and loved her and yeah, it got a little long lol.

Well people of Reddit. I finally got my closure. My ghoster came back and gave me closure. Bitter sweet but I can now close the book. Although the story wasn’t supposed to end this way, the show must go on. Day at a time I suppose. Time to write a new book. I hope you all get closure.

I will be fully honest in this post and would love full honesty in return about my post/question. Might get long, sorry but I would really appreciate female’s opinions on this as I am very confused.

We were together 10 years. I, 30M and her F29. I was her first boyfriend, she was my first girlfriend. We texted all day, every day when we weren’t hanging out. When we would hangout, things always felt great, a least for me I should say. Wed go to nice dinners, parks, so on and so forth. We traveled to Europe and Mexico and Dominican, multiple times. (I always paid for it all, flights, hotels, food). We had our differences sometimes like where we would and wouldn’t want to live and stuff like that. Her main problem with me, to my full and honest understanding was that she would claim I’m an asshole mostly because my choice of words sometimes sucked, which I accepted and tried to fix. It wasn’t because I didn’t care about her, I just needed help with that, i just never went to a professional. But believe me, I cared about her and loved her like nothing in my life. I will add that she also claimed, I was too “touchy” and only cared about her body, which although I did love her body, I wasn’t with her for “her body”

Well about her a little bit. She was unemployed the last 3 years. I fully supported her financially the whole entire time. I did it because I loved her and cared. Paying for everything from vacations that I was on and wasn’t on. Like when I paid for everything 2 years ago for her to go to Europe for 3 months with her friend, (whom shes no longer friends with). I paid for gas, food, clothes, shoes, medical stuff, gym membership, i mean you name it, i paid for it. The only thing I didn’t pay for was car payment and rent because she lived with her parents and had neither. She had no degree either, which again I didn’t care. Im financially well off, as far as I was concerned, she never had to work. She honestly cant seem to keep a friend. Ive watched multiple friends come and go in which after she was done with them, she never spoke to them again for the most part. Before she left me, she was down to 1 friend in which she would complain about and actually wrote damn near a book about her friend and how she was upset with her and barely spoke to her. She also lives with her parents but hasn’t spoken to her father in maybe 6/7 years. Shes very avoidant, full of pride and hates “asking for help”. How was I paying for all this stuff though? Because she had my credit card and was an authorized user. Lol

So basically, around September to November, I noticed her being distant. Fast forward to December, one night she used the credit card, me being fed up with her being distant and not feeling loved or appreciated, I locked the card and took the card off her apple pay, in which at this point she claimed I didn’t care, she would be fine without me, I never cared apparently and she’ll figure it out alone. I assured her I still cared and would pay for anything but I didn’t feel loved. 3 days later, I was completely ghosted. The day of the ghosting, she even like I said earlier, wrote as much as I have up until now, ranting about her friend. After a few more texts, I never heard from her again.

I attempted making contact in January in which I was told by her sister to stop contacting her. I waited 3 more months, texted her on WhatsApp, in which I was immediately blocked on there as well. Last week, me and my friend got drunk and he texted her, in which she replied, telling him that I apparently know what happened and she doesn’t wanna be contacted anymore because she has nothing to say. Me and all my friends are now blocked on Instagram. She just recently got it back after it was deactivated for months. After all of this, our mothers still stay im touch and her mother even reaches out to me sometimes and asks how im doing. Ive never asked about my ex to her mom.

What is going on here? Was I used? Do these type of people ever come back? Do they realize what they lost in someone who loved them and paid for EVERYTHING? Do I move on? She always claimed she loved me and I was her best friend? Idek what to do at this point. Shit sucks. Again, I would love to hear female opinions and perspectives. Im so sorry this got this long. If you have more questions about this, ill be happy to answer.

We were together for 10 years. The longest we didn’t speak prior to this was 5 days. Its been 4 months now. She just left. Ghosted me. I feel like this is hitting me again from day one. I felt “okay” maybe the second and 3rd month but now i cant stop thinking about her again. I was her first boyfriend, she was my first girlfriend. She has me blocked everywhere. Considering the length of relationship and I was her first everything basically, is there a realistic chance she could come back? Some days are okay but other days like today shes been on my mind all day. Has anyone been in this situation? Did she come back? Shes very avoidant and id say “prideful” lol. And yes, I go to the gym, ive been hanging out with friends, traveling non stop so on and so forth, but still. I wanted to marry her. She was my best friend.