u/Financial-Reply8582

Hey,

Having sex on the first date, or even kissing to a much lesser degree, lowers the chance of turning things into a relationship big time.

You are basically still strangers, you do not really know each other yet, and after that, a lot of the excitement and mystery is gone. It also sets a bad frame where dates often start feeling expected to include sex.

It can also create the impression that the other person has done this many times before, or would have done it just as easily with someone else too. That makes you feel less special and more replaceable.

I find it way more interesting when you date someone slowly, build a connection first, and then slowly build intimacy. It just feels much more sustainable.

I have had dates where I was only looking for something sexual, and that is a different story. But when dating with the intention of a relationship, holding yourself back is important. And yes, it is possible even when extremely horny.

Whenever a woman did not offer sex early on and wanted to take things slowly, my respect for her increased a lot. I felt like she was taking dating seriously and not just looking for a random hookup.

All of this is coming from the perspective of a man.

Let me know your thoughts. Maybe I am totally wrong and missing something.

Please give honest feedback. Maybe you have had sex on the first date many times and now feel triggered by my post, and I get that.

But perhaps you have realized the same thing, because I definitely have after making many mistakes. I felt like I was sabotaging my own future dating success.

I've been taking 5mg of Cialis whenever I expect to have sex in the evening. I don't take it daily.

5mg is pretty safe, perhaps even health-boosting, so I don't worry. However, the improvement in erection strength is quite incredible.

I stay hard even after cumming and can immediately go into round two with no refractory period. I can go for about six rounds in general.

It's pretty cool that medicine has come so far that you can improve your biology that much with all the things on the market, provided you have a smart and responsible approach.

Does anyone have a similar experience?

Hey,

Currently 26, feel literally like peak life. In every single aspect, health, looks, fitness, dating, lifestyle-wise.

I wish I could stay like this forever. I am young but still think about aging basically daily, already doing a lot to stay young and vital and healthy.

How did this progress for you? What is truly peak if you look back? I know here are some a bit older folks.

I just want some age reversal to be like this forever. I just love life so much being in this state.

But it will all end. Is life a lot worse getting older? Be honest.

I’ve been thinking about this from both an aesthetics and health perspective.

There are a lot of studies showing that women generally find stronger-looking men more attractive, especially compared to men who appear physically weak. Strength, fitness, confidence, health — all clearly matter.

But where’s the limit?

At what point does more muscle stop improving attractiveness and start hurting it aesthetically? Is the ideal physique more athletic/lean, or is maximizing muscle naturally usually considered best-looking?

For context:

• I’m 174 cm male, about 76kg 10% bodyfat.
• I gain muscle extremely fast naturally (genetics + muscle memory)
• No steroids, peptides, or anything enhanced
• I train every other day for ~30 minutes with very high intensity and no breaks
• My progress now is honestly better than when I used to do inconsistent 1–2 hour sessions

I’m also curious about the health side:
At what point does additional muscle mass — naturally achieved — stop being beneficial and potentially reduce lifespan or overall health?

I know this is biohacking-adjacent, but a lot of us also want to optimize looks, not just health markers.

Hey,

This might sound a bit unconventional for this sub, but I think it still fits. I really value the data-driven and thoughtful mindset here, so I’d appreciate your perspective.

I’m self-employed and location-independent, originally from Germany. I’ve been thinking more strategically about where to build my life long-term, specifically where I’m most likely to find a good partner and eventually raise a healthy, stable family.

I’m not looking at this from a short-term or purely dating angle, but more from a long-term compatibility and environment perspective. Things like cultural values, family orientation, relationship stability, and overall quality of life matter a lot to me.

One thing that’s been on my mind is relationship and divorce trends in Western countries. Depending on how you measure it, a large percentage of marriages end in divorce, and usually that’s after things have already broken down significantly. That makes me wonder how much the surrounding culture and social norms influence long-term relationship success, and whether some environments are simply more supportive of stable families than others.

At the same time, I’m in a good position financially, so I’m not limited to choosing a place based on cost alone. I’m more interested in places that offer a strong foundation for long-term relationships and raising children well. That could include things like:

• Cultural attitudes toward family and commitment
• Social stability and safety
• Education quality and environment for kids
• Health, lifestyle, and general wellbeing
• Dating dynamics and expectations between men and women
• Community and social cohesion

On a personal level, I take care of myself, train regularly, and would say I’m in good shape and slightly above average in terms of looks. I understand that attraction and positioning still matter, especially when thinking about long-term partnership, but I don’t want to reduce this to superficial factors alone.

My goal is pretty simple: build a healthy, stable family and give my future kids a strong environment to grow up in.

For those who have thought about this or experienced living in different countries, what factors would you prioritize? Are there specific places or regions that you think are better suited for long-term relationship success and family life?

Appreciate any insights.

Hey everyone,

This might sound a bit unusual, but I’m being completely serious and hoping for some insight.

I have a very high libido when I’m by myself. If I really wanted to, I could masturbate up to 10 times a day. I don’t actually do that because I know it’s not healthy, but the desire is definitely there. I can get fully aroused easily, even without porn—just from thoughts.

However, when I’m with a woman, things feel different. After sex, I tend to have a long refractory period, and I often don’t feel a strong desire to go again. I can do a second round, sometimes even a third, but I don’t really feel driven to—it’s more like I could take it or leave it.

In contrast, when I masturbate, the desire feels almost endless and even builds over the following days.

I don’t watch porn, and when I’m actively dating, I usually practice nofap.

So I’m trying to understand:

• Why is there such a big difference between solo and partnered desire?
• Is this normal?
• Is there a way to increase my desire for sex with a partner?

Would really appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

Thanks.

Hey guys,

What are actually the good, safe ways for a man to masturbate without hurting himself physically or mentally?

A few specific things I’m wondering about:

• What’s generally considered “allowed” and healthy for the brain?
• At what point does it become unhealthy or excessive?
• Is using porn, videos, TikTok thots, random internet pics/videos, etc. fine in moderation, or is pure imagination actually better for long-term sexual health?
• What’s the healthiest overall approach for your own sexuality?

On a personal note - I’ve noticed that when I go completely cold turkey and stop masturbating, I get way too pent-up. That leads to me going on way too many dates and making some pretty bad decisions because the horniness takes over. So I’m trying to figure out the sweet spot: enough release to stay level-headed, but not so much that it becomes a problem.

Would you recommend purely masturbating based on thoughts? Obviously porn is bad, but what about just pictures? At what point does it become unhealthy for the brain, i tend to drift off too more sexual stuff slowly over time. So i stopped masturbating for the last 50 days. But thats not the best way for me either.

Any solid advice, personal experiences, or even links to decent studies would be really appreciated. I just want to handle my sexuality in a way that actually supports my life instead of fucking it up.

Thanks in advance!

Hey everyone,

This is a serious question, even if it feels a little awkward to ask.

I know the standard advice is to communicate with your partner, ask what they like, and remember that every woman is different. I completely agree with that. But I also think there are still some general things that are worth learning, especially around foreplay, clitoral stimulation, fingering, nipple stimulation, oral sex, and penetration.

I’m not “fucking around all day,” but I do regularly have new sexual partners. In those situations, it can feel awkward or unsexy to talk through every single thing in advance like an interview. I’d like to get better at reading cues, building comfort, checking in naturally, and having a better baseline understanding of what tends to work for many women, while still respecting that everyone is different.

I’m not looking for porn-based advice or random tricks. I’d really like to become a more attentive, skilled, and responsive partner. Are there any good science-based or data-informed resources, books, educators, or guides that could help me improve my sex life in a healthy and respectful way?

Thanks in advance.