u/FeelingTesty99

I spent basically my entire teens and 20s treating life like a checklist. Get the degree. Get the good job. Keep climbing. Save money. Buy the place. Keep moving.

The weird part is it worked.

Last year I hit one of the last big goals I’d been chasing for years, and instead of feeling accomplished, I just felt empty. Not depressed exactly. More like my brain had been running on “next objective” for so long that it didn’t know what to do once there wasn’t an emergency or target in front of me.

For most of my adult life, my identity was tied to solving things. Bigger projects, bigger responsibilities, bigger problems. I could handle crazy work weeks because there was always a reason behind it.

Then a relationship ended around the same time I finally hit my financial target, and all the momentum disappeared at once. I’d sit on the couch at like 6pm feeling guilty for not being stressed. I kept checking email hoping somebody needed something from me so I could feel useful again.

The dumbest part was finally having time for hobbies I’d talked about for years and realizing half of them sounded better in theory than in real life.

At some point I started writing down patterns about myself because I honestly couldn’t tell anymore if I was burned out or just lost. Stuff like what kinds of pressure I actually handle well, what drains me, what I enjoy when nobody’s rewarding me for it. I dumped everything into the Coached test because I was trying to force some kind of consistent answer out of myself.

What’s weird is I don’t even want another giant external milestone right now. I’m more interested in smaller stuff that makes everyday life feel less hollow. Learning things I’m bad at. Seeing people I actually like instead of “networking.” Doing work that feels satisfying even if nobody claps for it.

Still feels strange though. I spent so long climbing that I never really thought about what happens after you get where you said you wanted to be.

I spent basically my entire teens and 20s treating life like a checklist. Get the degree. Get the good job. Keep climbing. Save money. Buy the place. Keep moving.

The weird part is it worked.

Last year I hit one of the last big goals I’d been chasing for years, and instead of feeling accomplished, I just felt empty. Not depressed exactly. More like my brain had been running on “next objective” for so long that it didn’t know what to do once there wasn’t an emergency or target in front of me.

For most of my adult life, my identity was tied to solving things. Bigger projects, bigger responsibilities, bigger problems. I could handle crazy work weeks because there was always a reason behind it.

Then a relationship ended around the same time I finally hit my financial target, and all the momentum disappeared at once. I’d sit on the couch at like 6pm feeling guilty for not being stressed. I kept checking email hoping somebody needed something from me so I could feel useful again.

The dumbest part was finally having time for hobbies I’d talked about for years and realizing half of them sounded better in theory than in real life.

At some point I started writing down patterns about myself because I honestly couldn’t tell anymore if I was burned out or just lost. Stuff like what kinds of pressure I actually handle well, what drains me, what I enjoy when nobody’s rewarding me for it. I dumped everything into the Coached test because I was trying to force some kind of consistent answer out of myself.

What’s weird is I don’t even want another giant external milestone right now. I’m more interested in smaller stuff that makes everyday life feel less hollow. Learning things I’m bad at. Seeing people I actually like instead of “networking.” Doing work that feels satisfying even if nobody claps for it.

Still feels strange though. I spent so long climbing that I never really thought about what happens after you get where you said you wanted to be.

I used to send the classic “thanks for your time, great chatting” email and then wonder if it mattered at all.

The only time i’ve seen a follow-up email do anything is when it continues the conversation:

1. 1 line thanks (no fluff)
2. 2-3 lines showing you heard something real in the interview
3. 1 concrete proof point that matches that thing
4. 1 tiny “next step” question so they can reply without thinking

Example of #2-#4 (steal this structure, not the wording):

“Appreciate you taking the time today. You mentioned the first 60-90 days are about getting clean reporting and reducing churn in the SMB segment. I’ve done that transition once before: in my last role I rebuilt the weekly pipeline + churn report and ran a 6-week retention push with Sales/CS. If it’s useful, I can send a quick outline of what I’d look at in week 1.”

That’s it. No paragraphs about how passionate you are.

The annoying part is finding a proof point that’s specific enough, fast. I keep a little bank of bullets (Google Docs + Resumeworded, depending on what I’m tweaking) so i’m not inventing stuff at 11pm.

One more thing: don’t send it if you can’t name something specific you heard. A generic thank-you is basically noise.

What else do people here put as the “reply hook” at the end? Do you ask for timelines, offer to send something, or just leave it?

Sharing this because I keep getting asked "How do I get clients from LinkedIn??" and honestly, whenever someone says they aren’t getting leads, half the time their profile reads like a total stack dump.

I used to do it too: “Designer | Webflow | Figma | Branding | UX | UI | Illustrator...”

But a client doesn’t wake up thinking, "Man, I really need some Figma today." They wake up wanting something to stop being broken. The fix for me wasn't posting more content. It was rewriting my profile so a stranger could answer three questions in ten seconds: Who is this for? What do they actually get? And why should I believe you?

I basically had to go scorched earth on my old copy. I picked ONE buyer and ONE outcome for my headline. Think "Email design for B2B SaaS" instead of just "design."

I gutted my "About" section into four short chunks and nuked all the task-based bullets in my experience. "Redesigned landing page" is a boring task; "Reduced demo drop-off by 20%" is a reason to hire me.

Mid-edit, I had a couple of job posts and a competitor’s profile open, but I was mostly leaning on Resumeworded to see if I was actually making sense. It forced me to stop saying I’m a "passionate collaborator" and actually show impact with numbers. Now I knew exactly which bullets were landing and which were just noise.

If you want, post your current headline (redact your name/company) and I’ll tell you what I think you’re actually selling. Then you can see if that actually matches what you're trying to do.

Good luck, freelancers!

You notice it around year 5 or 6. The women who were killing it as analysts and consultants just... aren't there anymore at the senior levels.

It's not a pipeline problem. They were hired. They were promoted. They were good.

What happened is the job changed and the math changed with it.

Early on, consulting rewards output. You do good work, you move up. But past Manager the game shifts to selling, client relationships, and being visible in the right rooms. That requires travel you can't predict, dinners you can't skip, and availability that assumes your personal life has no competing demands.

Most of the women I started with left between Senior Consultant and Manager. Not because they couldn't handle the work but because the work started requiring a life structure they didn't have.

One had a kid and realized she'd need to be on a plane 3 days a week to stay on track for promotion. Another watched the Senior Managers above her and saw that every single one had a spouse who didn't work or worked part-time. The pattern was pretty clear.

The comments I heard: "I can hire help but I can't hire someone to BE me." "Even with childcare I'm still the one who has to know everything and make all the decisions." "The people getting promoted are the ones who can say yes to anything without checking their calendar against someone else's."

Firms will point to parental leave policies and flexible work programs but those don't change the fact that advancement is still tied to old-school presence and selling. You can take the leave but you'll come back behind the people who didn't.

I know people who went to boutiques, went independent, or shifted in-house where they could control their schedules. They're doing fine. Some are doing better. The difference is they stopped trying to fit into a system that was designed around a life model most of them don't have.

If you're trying to figure out whether the problem is the firm or the industry or just you, personality tests like coached can help you think through what environments actually fit your life. But honestly the bigger question is whether you want to spend the next decade contorting around a promotion system that rewards being unencumbered.

The talent isn't the issue. The incentive design is.