So I've been married to the same woman for almost 15 years. We have a pretty good sex life, but I'm always interested in trying to make things better, in our mid to upper 30's now and i don't want our best sex to be behind us. I'm her first and only sexual partner. She grew up in a pretty conservative religious home and I think it's had a negative impact on her sexuality. She says she has never masturbated because it makes her feel weird and awkward when she attempted it in the past.
She is very clitoraly orgasmic. Going down on her always ends in intense orgasm. The only time she orgasms from penetration is if she is on top and grinds into my pubic bone... However, one of our favorite positions is the butterfly (the one where she lies on her back at the edge of the bed and I stand in front of her with her ankles up on my shoulders). She usually enjoys this because she enjoys how easily i can do deep hard thrusts. Only exception is certain times in her cycle when going in too far is uncomfortable for her. But when its good, she flushes from her face down to her breasts, just turns beet red and gets very vocal.
So I discovered years ago that if I place a pillow under her ass to angle her a little more upward it gets even more intense for her. I know what she looks like before orgasm and this is it. But every time I think im about to get her there in this position she says she has to stop to pee. When i ask if she likes it this way she just says its really intense. Not in a good or bad way... just really intense feeling. From some reading on the subject i think whats happening is that she's about to squirt. I'm pretty sure i'm heavily stimulating her g-spot in this position. But she seems nervous or anxious about letting herself reach climax from this.
In general I have enough experience with her to know what gets her off, but she does not communicate well in bed, sometimes she doesn't want me to go down or get on top and do the work. She's not great at articulating what she wants and what she from sex wants can vary widely. She is even more uncomfortable discussing our sexuality outside of the act itself and won't really engage on the topic.
She has confided in me in the past that she thinks her upbringing caused her to be prudish and slightly uncomfortable with the topic of sex.
Part of me feels selfish, I want to make her have intense orgasms because it really really turns me on when she does, and being able to do that to her while im in full control is a fantasy i have and i feel like i'm right on the cusp but cant quite get there. But it really is also about her, i want her to experience intense pleasure. I also want to encourage her to experiment by herself and figure out her own body. I feel like getting her to relax and let go will open up a whole new demension in our sex lives. Any advice from anyone who might have some experience dealing with the same obstacles would be greatly appreciated.