u/Far-Potential-4899

Does anyone just not care about their dead parents? I realize that, at some point, as adults, we have to assume responsibility for how we act in the world and how we choose to respond to life ...but at what point do you realize that you were never even given a fair shot at a normal life because of your addict parents?

Im tired of pretending to be sad that these two people who have completely destroyed my life even deserve a tear of sadness. They've both been dead for years, and I dont even care to visit their grave, nor do i care to have any of their possessions. i want to throw everything they've ever owned into a fire. I cry more every single day over my dead dog than I ever have over them.

This rage has really started to set in recently after i had to sort my mothers estate and found a bag of cocaine in her drawer. Growing up, I never understood what exactly was wrong with her because she was a master manipulator, and i was a dumb kid who fell for it. She claimed she had "nose cancer" when her nose collapsed after snorting coke likely every day.. claimed she had menopausal psychosis when she was actually withdrawing and had to go stay in an institution for a month....im sure her cocaine usage is what ultimately resulted in the brain aneurysm that killed her. Let's not even mention my gem of a father who got dui's and abused everyone and every pet in his path.

The rage I feel towards these two people is so unbearable that I've started to do exactly the same thing, use alcohol to cope. How do you ever overcome what they've done to you? I'm scared of therapy and feeling all of my emotions, so I just bury it all, but I'm not sure how much longer it can continue. Anyhow, thanks for reading. Just needed a vent.

I moved from Phoenix AZ to the suburbs of Illinois because I couldn't take the noise and safety issues of a big city. I lived next to Phoenix Skyharbor airport and couldn't even open my windows because of the constant plane noise. I figured a nice suburb in the Midwest would offer peace of mind and silence. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Im surrounded front, back, left, right and diagonal by retired men who are in some sort of creepy lawn mowing cult. One person mows, they see it as a competion, and, before you know it, I can't even hear myself think over the sounds of 5 lawn mowers, blowers, weed wakers...

My next door neighbor cranked it up at noon today and now it's 3.5 hrs later and he's still going. Its $5.00 a gallon here, I guess he is just that bored he's willing to spend 30 dollars every other day to mow. My lawn is double his size and im done in 30 min, tops. He finishes mowing, then attached some dumb ass attachment to it to make fancy lawn lines. Why do they do this?! I despise lawn maintenance but they genuinely seem to get their rocks off to it. Is it mental illness? Will I ever find peace? Genuinely not sure what was was worse, living next to a major metropolitan airport, or bored retirees. And no, im not walking around my house wearing noise canceling headphones because I shouldn't have to.

/end rant