u/Fantastic-Cobbler-60

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and have lived together for 2 of those years.

Upon moving in together, we made an agreement about how chores were to be divided. Because he works more hours in a week than me and I can be particular with certain chores, I am in charge of more than he is. To be specific, we only live in a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment. Once a week, I am in charge of cleaning my bathroom (we have separate ones), restocking the vitamins, resetting the chore chart, vacuuming, and mopping, our “shared” chores are wiping down the kitchen, doing the dishes, and doing laundry, and his chores are cleaning his gaming desk and cleaning his own bathroom.

Week after week I complete all the tasks I’ve allocated to myself, all the shared tasks, and often other minor things like dusting, however, my boyfriend continues to ignore the things that are his responsibility, not to mention, not even attempting the shared chores. Upon a few discussions, we came to the conclusion that he may just be forgetful because of one reason or another, so in response, I built a chore chart that clearly lays out what chores need to be done and who is responsible for what.

I am the kind of person that likes to stick to a strict schedule, especially with cleaning, but I understand that my boyfriend isn’t that way, so I laid out his chores for him on the chore chart but explained that he can complete them whatever day of the week he prefers, even splitting them up if he wants to. But, yet again, I find myself reminding him to complete them. I’ve tried to give him some leeway and told him if it’s easier he can do them every other week, but still won’t follow through.

We’ve have many discussions about expectations on both ends and they always end in agreement, despite this, nothing changes. I’ve asked him if I’m asking too much, I’ve asked him if there may be a better method to get him to clean, I’ve tried a ton of angles but it’s always just “I’ll do better” and that’s it. I’m starting to feel like I’m his mom. I work 30-35 hours a week, I cook, I clean, I get groceries, I plan dates, I plan social outings, I do EVERYTHING. I feel like I’m going insane and that I’m asking too much of him.

Are my expectations too high? How do I get him on the same page?

TL;DR My boyfriend promises to do his allotted chores but never follows through

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and have lived together for 2 of those years.

Upon moving in together, we made an agreement about how chores were to be divided. Because he works more hours in a week than me and I can be particular with certain chores, I am in charge of more than he is. To be specific, we only live in a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment. Once a week, I am in charge of cleaning my bathroom (we have separate ones), restocking the vitamins, resetting the chore chart, vacuuming, and mopping, our “shared” chores are wiping down the kitchen, doing the dishes, and doing laundry, and his chores are cleaning his gaming desk and cleaning his own bathroom.

Week after week I complete all the tasks I’ve allocated to myself, all the shared tasks, and often other minor things like dusting, however, my boyfriend continues to ignore the things that are his responsibility, not to mention, not even attempting the shared chores. Upon a few discussions, we came to the conclusion that he may just be forgetful because of one reason or another, so in response, I built a chore chart that clearly lays out what chores need to be done and who is responsible for what.

I am the kind of person that likes to stick to a strict schedule, especially with cleaning, but I understand that my boyfriend isn’t that way, so I laid out his chores for him on the chore chart but explained that he can complete them whatever day of the week he prefers, even splitting them up if he wants to. But, yet again, I find myself reminding him to complete them. I’ve tried to give him some leeway and told him if it’s easier he can do them every other week, but still won’t follow through.

We’ve have many discussions about expectations on both ends and they always end in agreement, despite this, nothing changes. I’ve asked him if I’m asking too much, I’ve asked him if there may be a better method to get him to clean, I’ve tried a ton of angles but it’s always just “I’ll do better” and that’s it. I’m starting to feel like I’m his mom. I work 30-35 hours a week, I cook, I clean, I get groceries, I plan dates, I plan social outings, I do EVERYTHING. I feel like I’m going insane and that I’m asking too much of him.

Are my expectations too high? How do I get him on the same page?

TL;DR My boyfriend promises to do his allotted chores but never follows through