u/FancifulCat

Did yours early on or in the dating stage blatantly go through your phone? For me I'd give him my phone to look at a reel or photo and I'd be distracted like eating and he would be immediately scrolling through my reddit app, my messages and social media. Then I would question why he would do that and he responded he was just bored.

I'd leave to use the toilet and he somehow had memorized my lockscreen code and went through my phone... No permission

Later on I needed to show him one message about some good news on a friend, he grabbed my phone and started scrolling through ALL the messages between me and this friend and he landed on one where I was talking about him. I tried to grab my phone back but he refused. I said nothing negative, just the way you'd talk to a friend about the guy you're dating and vetting. he went on a full on split and spiral, angry, moody, threatened to hit items, accused me of breaking up with him. That was the first time I was scared of physical abuse and really saw the potential for him to explode in seconds.

Of course, after a 3 hour circular argument, I ended up being the one that had to apologize. fml.

False equivalence, a tactic under gaslighting is this:

"the abuser compares their major transgression to a minor mistake made by the victim (you)"

Any of ya'll have an experience with this? It's a particularly annoying and disgusting tactic as some of them will not stop at using your weaknesses, mental health to dodge accountability.

For example: My pwBPD insisted their billion empty suicide threats/self-harm + taking pictures of their attempts + sharing their last will and testament were not serious or manipulative because I also had discussed my mental health a couple of times before where I felt suicidal ideation.

Okay this surely needs to be one of the top issues for women right now. I have tons of shirts or bras with pads but for some reason every company likes to produce them as removable and it's impossible to find one where the pads are sewn in.

So does anyone know how to just literally staple (without metal of course) these damn pads to the fabric so I don't need to spend half a century trying to push them into farbic crevices smaller than a nanometer. And so I can alleviate myself of the stress of digging them out mordor of in my washer because they fell out of place. Do any of you ladies have any commerical or quick handmade solution for this? (I am not a tailor and needles scare me).

One of my (now previous) male friends was going though this phase where he lamented that he can't find a girlfriend and wants wife and kids. It was so bad he was chronically liking self-pitying IG posts about settling for a bachelor life forever and being lonely without a wife. I tried to console him, but as I dug deeper, I realized what he wanted was a woman who had zero self-respect or standards for her lifestyle.

I discussed casually that there was a guy into me I've chatted with for a few months online and video calls, but he was from another country and I wasn't vibing enough yet for make him a top dating choice. He invited me out on a date to his country, this would involve a 9 hour flight. (Let's put the obvious danger aside of travelling this far and trafficking risk out the way for a second). I said to my friend there's no way I'd travel that far unless he pays for the flight and hotel and potentially compensate me for some of the two weeks I would be forgoing my salary at work. He replied, "ugh you are so fucking high maintenance, you need to pay all of it because he put in the effort to organize it".... I was astonished. I said why should I be thousands of dollars short for a guy that literally asked me to go to where he is? He then proceeded to call me a female Andrew Tate.

I realized that in his past, his failed relationships were because his ex's became sick of caring for this manchild who would coerce and guilt trip them into staying home on cheap date evenings, even asking them to massage his back, clean his place or just stay home when they wanted to explore outside in the beautiful sun. He dated one for many years and she left because he wasn't moving the relationship forward for marriage. He blamed her for leaving because "it was going to happen eventually and she should have waited, what a bitch to leave me when I'm struggling at this time". She waited 7 years! There was never going to be a time because you were just sucking her energy for your benefit. He even called one of his ex's fat to her face to neg her ON HER BIRTHDAY.

He's now scared he's going to die alone without a wife and is blaming women for refusing to do 5050 and generally having standards above what he can offer. I tried to explain that women in this day and age have their own assets, even homes. We really value our peace and time and if we wanted to do 5050 we would go on a date with our girlfriends. It was not getting through.

This 35 year old man has no savings because he dumps his money on smoke, expensive takeouts and impulse purchases. He once gaslit me about the abuse I recieved from a guy and told me I shouldn't report it to the police because that shows I'm just "seeking revenge". He wants a woman that's skinny and in shape - very specific about her skin tone, color and thigh gap size and even singing ability???

I lost my temper and said, how do you expect to even run a family with this attitude? You expect a woman to cater to you hands and foot, you invalidate her requests and experiences, you harass them to split the bill or pay all despite asking them out, you demand that your girlfriends on a holiday CLEAN YOUR house? You seriously think a woman will stay and wreck her body in pregnancy to give you a family? Whilst taking care of your health that you refuse to manage (he's very overweight). You need to invest proper energy, money and time in a lady if you want to have a wife, deal with it. She has the capacity to create life and a home for you, stop being selfish.

Yeah, we don't talk anymore. I really had to distance myself from men like this, even as a friendship point because their negative whiny energy about dating women irritates me and brings my mood down.

Sorry if this post is everywhere - I was kinda piggybacking off the other post about womb envy and remembered this experience. I think he was bitter that women have the upper hand in dating because we control creation of life and family.